#the day i want to pick something up from the post not only is there an infernal waiting line
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gifsbysimplysonia ¡ 2 days ago
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Hola. Long rambling feedback behind the cut as well as
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When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.
I think this is so beautiful. Anyone who is a creative knows how difficult it can be to find a muse. So for this person to inspire a twitch in Logan after YEARS? That's just a very beautiful thing.
He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him.  Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring. 
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And this is for BOTH 1) thinking it's not ok to be into art??? OK BUT CAVEMEN CARVED INTO WALLS, SIR and 2) "you're nothing if not inspiring" *screamingggggggggggggggggggg*
The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises.  Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing. 
I love that this fits with the Logan I know, the demand on self for perfectionism and the refusal to accept anything but. But it's especially important cuz he wants to do right by YOU/HER. *swoon*
And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more. 
Sigh. Oh Logan. Always thinking he's not worthy while he holds everyone he cares about up on pedestals. I both adore him and wanna shake him for these habits.
He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.
He gets Rogue to show him Instagram for reference photos. HOW CUTE!
Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite. 
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This is soooooooooooooooo beautiful. It is just a loud beacon of what Logan's heart really is. It's also really precious that he finally produces a drawing of her that he's satisfied with which then produces ANGST in him. Cuz he can't leave it out cuz what if people see? But he doesn't want to hide it cuz what if it smudges? Watching him go back and forth about it and the STRESS shows how much it means to him not to mess it up but ALSO, I think, how much it means to him to be back drawing. As a creative who goes through the longest dry patches, when a period of productivity comes up? OH DO I WANT TO HANG ONTO IT. And probably try so hard that I make it slip through my fingers.
He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again.  He could give it to you. 
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DO IT LOGANNNNNNNN!
Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing? 
YOU care, sir! And people who love you will SEE that and care too!!! Don't we all wish he valued himself and his opinions more.
The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him.
It's so precious to me, how relatable this is. Anyone who is a creative can relate, I'm sure. How nervous creatives are before they publish or they post or they even just share with someone they are close to. I wanna hug him.
He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it.  Sappy motherfucker. 
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Some day, someone needs to tell him he can give himself permission to BE sappy. Corny is part of life and it's a blessing.
He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door.  So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart.  It’s soo stupid. 
It's annoying to read Logan's antiquated views on masculinity here. Completely understand that it fits with his character and how he has aged and evolved but omggggggggggg, it's just frustrating lol
You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.
The way we can convince ourselves of the worst possible outcome, eh? *smh*
You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing.  You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.” 
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SHE IMMEDIATELY TREATED IT AS SOMETHING PRECIOUS!!! SHE WANTED TO PROTECT IT JUST LIKE LOGAN WANTED TO PROTECT IT!!! BUT SHE LOVES IT TO THE POINT SHE MADE HERSELF A COPY TO CARRY IT AROUND WITH HER AT ALL TIMES!!!!!
“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that.  But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?”  You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”
To see the similarities in how they DON'T see themselves fully is kind of sweet and makes me root for them.
“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.”  The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created. 
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He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing. 
This is HILARIOUS and KILLING ME because I also make rules for MYSELF that are different from the rules I have for EVERYONE ELSE lmao
He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy. 
Logan being an Acts of Service person makes ALL the sense in the world to me.
But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end. 
The curse of the sequel! I think a lot of creatives can relate to this type of self induced pressure which means nothing you produce is good enough.
“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.” He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.
She already has a frame for the new drawing cuz the frames came in packs of 2 and she will NOT STAND for someone not absolutely FAWNING over it and I love that from her. It's doing Logan's heart SO good to see how much she adores what he's created.
If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you. Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.
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It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.
Our man is S-M-I-T-T-E-N and I love that for him. Cuz look what it's brought back into his life?
“I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it. “No one else knows.” You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.
This is so intimate. And he's finally comfortable all the way with her. She knows it's him and he's fine with her knowing it's him.
You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.
I appreciate that Logan is just the tiniest bit "selfish" here because this has been such an emotionally taxing ordeal for him. And she really really admires his talent and is THRILLED that it's him and that he sees her the way that he does.
From here the story slips into the Rated R portion of the story which is both hot and very sweet. The buildup means that I feel a genuine connection and intimacy between the 2 that feels "earned," if that's the right word. Cuz it doesn't feel forced or rushed or like we skipped a whole bunch of stuff to get here.
I also love that there's open dialogue. Often, the only talk between lovers is dirty - which I am a big fan of and absolutely fine with - but that here we have sweet confessions, constant check ins, and reassurances; these all fit with the journey we've been on with these two and I just really enjoy that aspect.
There's also good dirty talk, balanced give and take and praaaaaaaaaaaaise which I enjoy thoroughly. Logan also tends to take the possessive "my girl" over and over which just melts my butter!
@selfcarecap thank you so much for creating and sharing this! Thank you for following YOUR muse through to the end of this tale and then being brave enough to slip it under all our doors *bad dum tss* I really loved this look at Logan, his vulnerabilities, his abilities and desires beyond his powers / "job" and what allowing himself to create ultimately gifted him with. Well done smut that I also very much enjoyed too.
And thank you to K for putting it on my dash!
MUSE [L.H.]
Logan Howlett x reader
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summary: Logan would never admit it to anyone, but over the course of his long life he has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. He hasn’t done it in years, maybe even decades, but he’s struck by inspiration when he meets you. Of course, no one can know that Wolverine draws, so he does it in the dead of night, sliding anonymous envelopes with the finished drawings of you under your door. When he sees how much you love them, he wonders if you could also love the person behind them. 
warnings: smut 18+ but with an actual plot for once (brief m masturbation, oral f and m rec, unprotected piv sex, kind of accidental (but consensual obv) facial; pet names: bub, baby, good girl, princess), soft!Logan but he won’t admit it, also soft!reader, fluff (although the summary makes it sounds a bit more dramatic than it is tbh), implication that reader has curly hair, implied mutant/X-men!reader, (obviously the pic doesn’t represent the envelopes Logan uses lol he’s not doing all that)
word count: 7.3k
also i feel the need to say something about the fact that it’s Hugh Jackman’s birthday today lol so uh thanks for being huge jacked man and for giving us our Logan yay <3 | gorgeous divider by @plutism
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It’s everything Logan is the opposite of – he would never tell a soul – but over the course of his long life, Logan has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. It’s not really him, but he did have a phase or two.
When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.
He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him. 
Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring. 
He gives in to the urge to get out pencil and paper again, waiting until everyone else has gone to sleep. The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises. 
Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing. 
He picks out a few other things to draw then, to ease the pressure that comes with drawing the woman he… is friends with. Yeah, you’re a friend. And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more. 
But after a few nights he feels more confident in his drawing skills again, but still, as much as he can picture you in his mind – he can do that absolutely perfectly – he’s not too sure he could really draw you accurately.
So he gets Rogue to show him how goddamn fucking Instagram works so that he can look at some of your pictures and use them as a model. 
He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.
He can’t believe it, but the first time he seriously attempts to draw you, it’s perfect. It’s a small drawing, not even as big as his palm, capturing your gorgeous face. He thinks of adding another few lines to your eyebrows, or to your hair or another small one to the outline of your lips, but he doesn’t want to mess with it. 
Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite. 
He hides the drawing in between the pages of a book, and hides the book under a pile of random clutter on his desk that not even he would normally spare a glance at. But when he lies down to go to sleep, he gets all the stuff out again and gets out the drawing. He wants to see it again. And he can’t leave it there anyway, what if the pressure from all the items on top of it smudges it? 
But he doesn’t know what else to do with it. He can’t really have a drawing of you sitting in his room. What if someone sees? Then what is he gonna do with it instead? 
He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again. 
He could give it to you. 
Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing? 
The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him. To see the side that has him staying up until 3AM to finely trace the lines of someone’s eyelashes and cheekbones and lips, the side that makes him feel calm inside. 
He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it. 
Sappy motherfucker. 
He puts the small drawing back into the book and carefully pushes it between his mattress and the bedframe to protect it during the night. God, who even is he – protecting a tiny piece of paper? He groans at himself as he turns around to go to sleep. 
He dreams of making a thousand drawings of you, with you as his live model. His muse. 
You’re his girlfriend in his dream, he thinks. 
He’s sitting in a chair in your room, drawing you as you tell him about your day. You’re lying on your bed on your tummy, elbows propped up to support your head. You’re gently kicking your feet in the air behind you, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of Logan’s, some silly graphic socks, panties with little cherries on them, and a bright, bashful smile as Logan attempts to capture your glowing features in a sketch block he’s dedicated to drawings of you. 
He wakes up with morning wood. 
Logan is no stranger to jerking off with you on his mind, so he spits in his hand and slips it beneath his boxers, stroking himself as he thinks of you. He imagines you on top of him as he jerks his cock, imagines you under him, or with your legs around his head, or you between his knees on the floor. He cums quickly and hard, leaving his boxers wet and sticky.
He goes for a run after he’s dealt with it and picks up an envelope on his way. He’s doubting himself but he knows he has to just do it. He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door. 
So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart. 
It’s soo stupid. 
He makes sure no one is anywhere near your bedroom, walks up to your door, and slides the envelope underneath. Except he didn’t check if you were in your room. As soon as the envelope disappears beneath your door, he hears a short creak from your bed and your soft footsteps. 
He hears the small and adorable noise of curiosity you let out – a confused hm? – and then he quickly and quietly makes his way down the hallway. He hears your voice about ten seconds later, an intrigued hello? as you open the door, but you don’t investigate further, closing the door behind you. 
Logan’s heart is beating so fast. He’s never doing this shit again. 
He’s antsy all day, waiting for some type of reaction from you. Except you don’t know that the drawing is from him so he’s probably not even getting one, and he can’t conspicuously come to your room the same day you receive an anonymous drawing of yourself. 
It’s also when the insecurity settles in. Maybe he should have added a few more lines or started the entire drawing anew. Who does he think he is pretending to be an artist? 
He shakes those thoughts off as he starts training with the punching bag in the gym. It’s not something that he necessarily needs to train, but it gets rid of some of that pointless energy. This isn’t him, worried about some lines he drew on a piece of paper – a scrap of a paper, really. Who cares about something like that? Certainly not him. 
He sleeps dreamlessly and wakes up the next day disappointed that he didn’t get to dream about being your boyfriend again. God, what are you doing to him? Making him think about being boyfriend and girlfriend. He’s pathetic. You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.
-
He’s not even thinking of the drawing anymore, truly, when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. It only comes to mind when he sees you, alone in the kitchen, leaning over the counter to scroll on your phone, your weird green coffee (“it’s Matcha, Logan”) next to you as you stir it mindlessly with a metal straw. 
“Hi,” you look up with one of those sweet smiles of yours, but redirect your attention to your phone. 
At least you don’t immediately say something like hey, you know that drawing you slid under my door? It was so ugly I threw it away. Since when do you even draw? 
Not that he was worried you would or anything. He hasn’t been thinking about it. Obviously. Why would he? And he knows you would never expect that it’s him; that’s the only reason he did it. He never would have given you the drawing if he thought you could have even the slightest inkling that Logan would be someone who draws. But he still wants to know what you think of it. 
“You want some toast too?” You ask, putting your phone down and turning to get some bread. He sits down at the other side of the kitchen counter and as his eyes flicker to your green drink (he still doesn’t get it), he sees it. 
“Is that–” my drawing, he almost said, “What is that?” He pretends to be confused, drawing his eyebrows together, trying his best to look inquisitive, “No toast by the way, thanks.” 
You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing. 
“Did you draw it?” He asks. 
You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.” 
“Secret admirer?” 
Smiling, you say, “I don’t know. I won’t get my hopes up. But the person must definitely be fond of me to draw me like that.” 
“Like what?” He asks, unsure if he’s about to be offended. 
“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that. 
But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?” 
You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”
Logan stays silent. He can’t seem too pushy and draw attention to himself, but his silence makes you confess.
“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.” 
Logan makes a noise of satisfaction and smiles, asking you to pass your phone so he can look at it more – pretending it’s his first time seeing it. If you think that way about it, maybe the three more lines he was going to add aren’t that important after all. 
The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created. 
-
After a week, he figures he has to give in. Drawing another picture of you is on his mind twenty-four seven. 
It doesn’t help that he still catches you staring at the copy of it in your phone case lovingly more than once a day and you’ve put the original drawing in a special little frame on your nightstand. He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing. 
This is for you. It’s not about him. He’s not an artist or anything like that, he’s just doing something kind for someone he cares about (which is honestly sappy enough but he tries to ignore that). He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy. 
He’ll just make this second drawing and silently put it in your room, and he’s the last person you’ll suspect. 
But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end. 
It takes him an entire month for the next drawing, and it feels more like him that it’s been making him so angry that he couldn’t get it right at first. Maybe he had the wrong picture of artists. They’re always talking about pain, aren’t they, and that’s what he experiences too (over a drawing. Who is he?). 
He takes another few days to keep track of your routine, to monitor when you’ll be in your room. He can’t have it be as close as last time. 
He ends up doing it in the evening. There’s a time after dinner when most of the team stays together to watch tv, just talk, or play some games. It’s normal for some of you to wander off, come back or stick around a bit longer. It won’t be suspicious if he leaves for a few minutes and comes back.
Logan wants nothing more than to follow you when you say that you’re going to your room for the night; he wants to see your reaction. But he can’t. All he can do is go up to his own bedroom fifteen minutes later, lingering in the hallway longer than he needs to.
Just as he’s about to give up and go to sleep, you walk down the hallway, coming back from the bathroom.
“Logan!” you call all excitedly when you see him, and his heart skips a beat. Do you know the drawing is from him? 
“Look,” you take his arm and pull him to your room, “I got another drawing!”
He breathes out in relief; you don’t know it’s from him. He smiles when you hold up the drawing, already framed.
“Were you expecting to get another drawing?” he teases.
“Noo, but the frames came in a pack of two. Isn’t it gorgeous?”
Logan looks at how your eyes sparkle, how proudly you’re showing him this drawing. All the work he put into it was definitely worth it. It’s another picture of your face, this time from a new angle, and with your hair styled differently, curls coiled another way from last time.
Logan clears his throat, remembering to keep up his act. “It looks good.”
“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.”
He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.
“It is. And you don’t have to know much about art or drawing to see how pretty this is. I still can’t believe someone would take the time to make these for me.”
Logan remains silent instead of saying what he wants to tell you. Of course he would take that time for you – and you don’t even know how much time it really took him. If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you.
Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.
-
He’s on a roll for some time. He’s better at drawing again now that he’s getting in practice, and he makes five drawings of you within the next weeks. Logan watches the collection of them on your nightstand grow fuller, along with your smile that somehow gets bigger every time you tell him about a new drawing.
It’s a wonder you haven’t caught on yet, but you don’t seem particularly interested in snooping around to find out who it is. You respect the person’s privacy, but you’ve confessed to him that you’d still love to know. 
“I won’t try to find out who it is. I won’t push it if they don’t want me to know… but, I mean, anyone would want to know, wouldn’t they?”
You’ve adopted the nickname of ‘secret admirer’ for this mysterious ‘they’, after Logan used the term about ten times. You were reluctant at first, because the person isn’t calling themself a secret admirer – you’d just be putting words in their mouth. But after seeing how much more beautiful the drawings get each time, you’ve accepted and admitted that, okay, yes, the person must be an admirer.
Your secret admirer Logan is particularly proud of his latest drawing, excited to bring it up to your room tonight. 
But this time he’s sloppy. He’s stayed for a few post-dinner card games with the team, and it’s risky, because you’ve been saying that it’s your last game for the last two rounds. But he also knows that you always say that, and never mean it.
Logan gets up to leave, and he hears Scott convincing you to play just one more round.
It’s stupid, really, risking it like that. Even if he’s gone from your room in time before you come upstairs, you could easily guess that it’s Logan. He’s the first one leaving the round tonight, so your first assumption could be that it was him.
Maybe subconsciously he wants to get caught. He’s seen how you light up at every drawing, and no matter how much you respect your admirer’s anonymity, of course you want to know who’s dedicating so much time and work to drawings of you. Of course it’s crossed your mind that the person isn’t just doing this because they’re a good friend. They’re drawing your face because they think it’s beyond beautiful.
Logan doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told you yet that he likes you. He’s good at flirting, and he’s attractive – he’s not blind. But with you it’s different, there’s a bigger risk, for the both of you. The older he gets, the harder it is to open up to yet another person. You’re friends, and you talk about personal things, but confessing that he’s in love with you is different.
Not to mention this stupid recurring dream he keeps having, in which you find out it’s Logan who’s been drawing you, and suddenly your opinion of the drawings changes. You don’t like him back like that, and suddenly the drawings feel creepy if you think about him staying up late drawing your face.
He rolls his eyes at himself and gets the thought out of his head, taking the small envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans, smoothing his hand over it. He looks around, making sure no one sees him.
Logan bends down to slide the envelope under your door as usual, but one of the corners of the paper catches against the wall, and he quickly opens it to check the drawing isn’t damaged. His heart is beating so fast, he feels stupid. 
He can hear footsteps, still far away, but he can hear them. Logan messily licks the edges of the envelope to close it back up, but it’s not sticking. He can’t decide between shoving it under the door like this or leaving now and bringing it back the next day. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage now.
Then he hears it. He miscalculated how far the footsteps were.
“Logan?”
He turns around slowly, and it feels like the world has frozen.
You come closer, looking at him and then at the letter that he must’ve dropped. It hasn’t made it under your door yet.
He says something before you can, “I’m delivering for someone else.”
“Who?” you ask, bending down to pick up the envelope. If he wasn’t petrified, he’d enjoy the view of you bent over in front of him.
He breathes. He can’t have anyone taking credit for his work, for his art (you called it that recently, he would never). But his heart is beating so fast he doesn’t know what the fuck to do or say. 
This is exactly why he never wanted to do any of this. He’s making a fool out of himself and that doesn’t usually happen, especially not over a piece of paper. Logan is confident, cocky even, he can admit that, and has no idea how to deal with things like being nervous; he never has to. This really isn’t him.
You don’t wait for an answer and look at the envelope. You open it so carefully, gently taking the drawing out with your fingertips. You’re treating it with so much care he immediately feels better. Again, this isn’t for him, it’s for you. (Well, it’s for him too but it’ll take him a while to admit that). 
He’s drawn your smile this time. You were happy in most of the drawings before, but he focussed more on the eyes, and your lips only ever tugged up in a slight smile. 
This one is a full-toothed grin, mid-laugh. 
You two were drinking last weekend. He barely felt it but your tipsy, giggly mood was contagious. He couldn’t imagine himself feeling any other way but blissful when you’re happy around him. 
It started when Logan made a casual comment about something silly Scott was wearing that night, and he had you giggling. He wanted to immediately hear that angelic sound again, of course, and so he gave you every joke about your shared friends he could think of – all light-hearted, but he was still glad you two were alone. 
It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.
You look up at him now, eyes filled with tears. 
“You drew this?” you ask.
He nods softly. He can’t say it but he hopes the drawings convey how in love with you he is. 
Suddenly, Logan feels like his heart has stopped beating.
You’re kissing him. 
You’ve leaped up, wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and now your lips are on his. 
He feels your mouth falter, probably because he’s being a fucking idiot and not kissing you back. Logan places his hands on your waist to pull you further towards him. Then his brain finally catches up and he can do what he’s wanted to for so long. 
He takes your chin with two fingers and angles you so you can kiss him easier. He closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your soft, warm lips against him. You’re soft and warm all over. Your top has slipped up over his fingertips at your sides, and he slides his hands further around your back to support you against him even better. 
Logan’s tongue pushes at your lower lip, and you let out the sexiest, tiny moan of surprise as you part your lips for him, granting him access. 
His tongue touches the tip of yours and from then on your cravings intensify. You feel your way over his muscular shoulders, his big biceps and over the hard planes of his chest. When you’ve had a good feel there, your hands grip his shirt in desperation and Logan gets even hungrier for you. He gently bites at your lower lip, but then you shriek into his mouth and squirm out of his grasp. He opens his eyes wide. 
You grip Logan’s forearm for support when you bend down in a panic, picking up the drawing you just dropped. You let out a big breath of relief when you see it hasn’t been damaged. 
“You made me drop it!” You slap a hand to his chest; it doesn’t actually hurt and it’s not meant to, but it leaves a pleasant tingle behind instead. 
“I didn’t do anything”, Logan laughs, and you shake your head at him with a smile.
You take him into your room where you make him sit on the bed while you stare at the new drawing in awe. “I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it.
“No one else knows.”
You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.
“I’ll only draw for you anyway, so there’s no point in telling anyone else.”
“You’re really good. I love the drawings.”
Logan gives a satisfied hum at your words, “You inspired me. Can’t have you walking around all pretty and not expect me to try and recreate it.”
You straddle Logan and hover over his lap to hug him, “They’re the best thing anyone's ever given to me. Do I really look like that?” You say the last question more quietly, and Logan wraps his arms around your sides, careful not to bump your hand that’s still holding the drawing.
“You’re more gorgeous than anything I could ever capture, but I think it comes close. I didn’t change anything about you to make you more beautiful. I couldn’t if I tried. I just tried to draw you as accurately as possible, that’s why it’s so beautiful.”
“I really love it,” you say again, happily staring at the details of the drawing. Hearing you say the word love so much tempts Logan, but he doesn’t want to move too fast. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He does, however, want to kiss you again.
Logan carefully takes the framed drawing and puts it on your nightstand. You push your mouth against his before he can initiate the kiss, and he grins against your lips.
You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.
Your chest is pressed against Logan’s, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. You may or may not be pressing your boobs against his body on purpose.
“God, baby, I’ve waited so long for this,” he says, already breathless, as his hands trail down your back, leaving goosebumps behind.
“You’ve waited long?” you raise your eyebrows, grinning, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I met you.”
You see the look in Logan’s eyes changing as he bites his lip, “Who says I didn’t want the same?”
You giggle, “Why did it take us so long?”
Logan chuckles, readjusting you so that you’re even closer to him, “I was too busy to actually talk to you, just been starin’ at you so I could draw you.” His cheeks have the faintest red tint, and you kiss them, hugging him.
You whisper into his ear, “Then it was worth the wait. And anyway, it’s not talking that I’m interested in right now.”
He pulls you back to look into your eyes, then at your lips. “Where do you want me?” he asks. You giggle slightly helplessly; you weren’t entirely prepared to have a man like Logan at your mercy like this tonight.
“You can do whatever you want,” you say softly, kissing him.
Logan’s lips are hungry against yours, strings of spit falling between you two, but he pauses the kiss to lie you on your back. “Wanna eat you out,” he husks, “Been dying to know what you taste like forever, bub. Can I?” He reaches for the hem of your top, and you nod so that he can pull it off you, admiring what’s underneath. 
“Sometimes I make myself cum imagining that I’m going down on you,” you confess somewhat shyly, but you figure he’s been so vulnerable for you that you can share a secret too.
Logan smirks, and pulls off his shirt, “Maybe we can make your dream come true then.”
You move to sit up, but he insists on eating you out first. You both take off all your clothes, staring at each other with huge smiles on your faces for a few moments. You’ve never seen Logan this happy.
“Look at you, baby. So pretty,” he leans down to kiss your lips, then down your neck, all the way to your legs. He spreads them, lying down between them as he all but drools at the sight of your wet pussy.
You get nervous all of a sudden. “It’s been a while,” you tell him. He looks up, taking your hand, enveloping it completely in his much bigger one.
“You sure about this? We can wait,” he gently kisses your knuckles, and a warmth spreads in your chest, slowing your heartbeat down a little.
“I’m sure,” you nod, and Logan comes up again to kiss you. The head of his hard cock catches against the space above your clit, and you both look down between your bodies. When Logan looks back up at you, his eyes are desperately begging you. You place your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his hair as he moves down your body.
“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he mumbles into your thigh, kissing you there. You giggle, getting comfortable, your hand never leaving his hair.
Logan starts eating you out, his tongue gentle but determined against your clit.
“Taste so good, baby. Even better than I imagined.” You hum at Logan’s words, already feeling yourself come undone with his mouth on your wet pussy.
You sink further into the mattress when he starts sucking on your clit, licking into your pussy like a man starved every few moments, and your thighs squeeze around Logan’s head, and it’s even better than in his fantasies.
“Feels really good,” you tell him, pulling on his hair to stop yourself from moving too much, and Logan moans against your skin. Hearing your words motivates him even more, and he pushes two fingers into your wet pussy. He curls his fingers, rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.
Your back arches as you cum, Logan’s lips wrapped around your clit as your legs push harder against his head, and all he does is moan, revelling in the feeling.
Logan doesn’t stop licking your pussy until you’re tugging his head away by his hair, and he comes up for air with a grin on his face. You smile back, pulling him up to kiss him. You give yourself only a few seconds of recovery time before you make him sit down. You know you’d never have enough strength to actually make him get into a different position, but he lets you.
You push him onto his back, getting between his legs. You’re blinking up at him all prettily when you ask, “Can I suck your dick? Please?”
Logan huffs to himself because he can’t believe how hot you are, can’t believe that this is really finally happening. He tells you yes – he has no more words to describe how badly he wants this – and he watches you wrap your pretty lips around his cock.
It’s hard to grasp that it’s really you doing this right now – the woman he’s been into for so long. His cock is in your mouth and you look so gorgeous with spit running down from your lips, and all he can think of is all the dirty drawings he can now make of you, if you’ll let him.
He closes his eyes when you take him deeper, enveloping him with your warm, wet mouth. “Good girl,” he whispers absent-mindedly, too gone to say much more.
You’re not using your hands as you suck his cock, your spit trailing down on him, and you’re so eager. But it’s also late, and he sees you getting tired, eyes blinking slower as you pause to catch your breath every few moments. He also sees the determination in your eyes, and the absolute want, but he doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself. 
You look so sexy all fucked out, strings of spit connecting your mouth to his cock as you pull away another time, giggling up at him shyly when you realise that he’s noticing you getting tired.
“Just need a second,” you wipe your mouth, out of breath, and it’s not that you’re not incredibly hot like this, but he still wants to fuck you tonight and he’s not sure that will happen if you keep going.
“C’mere, baby,” he says, reaching out his hand.
“Huh?” you ask, taking his hand nevertheless.
“Get back here, baby. I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? Don’t want you tiring yourself out.”
You let him lift you and put you on your back, but you pout, “Wanna taste you.”
Logan grins, “I’ll cum in your mouth, princess. Promise.”
You smile at his answer, satisfied, so you lie back down, pulling your legs up to your chest. His cock looks huge as he jerks himself off between your legs, rubbing the tip against your clit, making you squirm.
“Don’t know if I can take you,” you bite your lip. You’re not entirely sure if you mean it or not. You definitely want to try.
“We’ll make it fit, baby, we’ll make it fit,” Logan assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth, a mix of your wetness and his precum between your mouths. You feel his cock at your pussy, “You ready?”
“I’m ready,” you nod desperately, letting him push his cock into your pussy. He pauses after a few inches, but you wrap your legs around his waist more tightly, and he goes deeper.
“Y’okay, baby? You can take it, right?”
You nod, unable to form words with your pussy stretched like this, a combination of pleasure and pain between your legs – but it’s infinitely more pleasure.
“That’s right. You’re my good girl, hm?” He kisses along your neck as he bottoms out, and you both moan when he’s got his cock fully stuffed inside you for the first time. He pulls out slightly when you whine at the stretch, but you scratch down his back to get his attention.
“I can take it,” you tell him, and you watch the look in his eyes darken.
He begins to fuck you, the pain subsiding more with every thrust into your wet pussy. You can barely take him, but it feels good. With your slight tiredness, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. 
You can’t believe that Logan – your super hot friend Logan who you’ve been fantasising about for so long – is fucking you. He not only feels the same way about you, but he’s been your secret admirer this entire time, taking hours and hours out of his day to make you smile. You’re the only one he wants.
And now he’s fucking you, fucking you well, and you feel so warm inside, not just from the sex but you feel warm in your heart, because of Logan’s care.
“You okay?” he asks, stroking a hand down your face when he notices you’re not entirely present. You nod happily, smiling up at him, and you can’t talk because you feel so good.
“Good, that’s good, bub, but let me know if it gets too much,” he says as he starts rubbing your clit, watches you nod while he’s fucking you so well, and he’s so big and so deep inside of you, “Squeezing me so tight, baby, feel so fucking good.”
You cum suddenly, letting the warm pleasure flow through your body as Logan keeps fucking you through it, rubbing your clit in just the right rhythm.
“That’s my girl, taking it so well,” he moans, breaths stuttering. You slump against the pillow after a few moments, with a soft smile on your face, and Logan pulls out.
“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he jerks his cock, and you sit up on your elbows immediately, looking him in the eyes with a smile as you stick out your tongue for him. He promised.
Logan moans when he cums, painting your face in his release, jerking himself off. He holds your head in place with his other hand, aiming for your mouth but you’re making no effort to catch his cum there.
“Such a pretty fucking face, princess, ’m cumming all over it,” he rasps, shooting more ropes of his cum all over your cheeks, jacking off onto your face.
You open your eyes when he’s done and breathing heavily, and you smile up at him. You open your mouth, taking the head of his cock between your lips to suck off the last drops of cum.
“Look at you, baby. Look so fucking pretty with my cum all over your gorgeous face.”
You hum, pulling your mouth off him and licking your lips, tasting his salty release. You brush a finger over your cheek, sucking it into your mouth to taste him more. Logan kisses you then, the flavour of himself mixing between your mouths.
He cleans you up gently, carefully wiping your face with a baby wipe and kissing every inch of your cheeks afterwards. You take his face to kiss him properly, and if you didn’t seem so tired Logan would be ready for round two immediately.
“Next time you could try to actually cum in my mouth,” you tease, making Logan grin.
“Sorry, baby. Got too excited. Couldn’t focus on asking you again if it was okay.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips.
“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I liked it.”
Logan grins, “Oh I could tell you liked it, baby.” You lightly slap his chest as you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss.
You cuddle for a while, not saying much because you don’t have to. You’ve both waited for this for so long that you’re just enjoying the moment, enjoying that it finally happened.
You slip out of his arms to sit on top of him. You’re in nothing but panties, the blanket bunching around your hips. You lean your hands against his chest as you tell him more about how much the drawings delighted you. And Logan cares, of course he cares to hear that, but he’s also just a man seeing the woman he’s into naked for the first time still. 
You become quiet when you realise that he’s not listening, and you giggle, “Distracted?”
Logan grins, “Just a little fucking bit, baby.” His eyes don’t leave your body, and you laugh as you bend down to kiss him. He grabs your ass, kneading the flesh. When you slightly sit up again, your tits are near his face, and he can’t help himself. He cups your breasts, playing with your nipples, making you hum.
“I should draw these,” he looks up at you, “Should draw every perfect fucking inch of you.”
“You wanna?” You adjust how you’re seated in his lap, and you feel that he’s already half hard under you again.
“Maybe after I’ve fucked you again.”
You smile, feeling yourself growing wetter on top of him.
“Tomorrow,” he continues, and your smile drops.
“But you’ve got to get more familiar with the inspiration, right? If you’re going to draw me.”
“That’s true, baby. But I think you’re too tired.”
You smile bashfully, ignoring how your eyelids were drooping shut just a few seconds ago, “Okay, but then I’ll have more energy for tomorrow.”
“That’s my girl,” he smiles, pulling you off him to cuddle you again. He tucks you in and kisses your head. 
You turn to your side, taking one of the framed drawings and looking at it for a while. 
Logan watches you looking at it, and the sparkle in your eyes never fails to make him feel all warm inside. “Now that you actually know about it, I don’t have to draw you from memory anymore. I can study my muse in peace.”
“Aww, I’m your muse?” you beam.
“Of course you are, princess. You’re the only reason I’m drawing again.”
“I love your drawings so much.”
Logan clears his throat, and looks at you. “Well, I love you. So, I think that went into them.”
You look at him, pouting and then kissing him. “I love you too,” you say into his mouth. He grins against your lips, pulling you closer to kiss you some more. He can barely grasp that you just said that, but he’ll have enough time soon to comprehend how lucky he is. 
For now, he takes your hand, and asks, “The question might be redundant now, but do you wanna be mine? Be my girlfriend?”
“I’m already yours.”
Logan grins, takes you in his arms, and you’re still cuddling when you’re both drifting off to a peaceful sleep.
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P.S. reblog with a comment and let me know your favourite moment/what you liked to get a drawing from Logan under your door tonight and a facial <33
gorgeous divider by @pommecita
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exocaliii ¡ 1 day ago
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❦︎ Is That What You Want? (It's You)
| Se-mi / Player 380 x fem!reader |
Summary: In the worst possible place, you reunite with someone you never thought you would see again. Fortunately for you, the looming threat of death unveils many long lost feelings you both tried (and failed) to let go.
Word Count: 6.4k
Warnings: mention of suicide, death, violence, hurt/comfort, occasional use of Y/N even tho I do try to avoid it, lots of YEARNING, kind of a childhood friends to lovers typa scenario, kissing (but it's only in like one paragraph at the very end sorry freaksters....)
A/N: SEMI FIC HERE TO MAKE UP FOR HER FUMBLE IN THE LAST ONE!!!! this one is also extremely plot heavy as u can see from the word count LOL but I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY!! tried to show her softer side in this as well as her playfulness! this is for the people asking for a se-mi fic in my inbox sorry I made the post before I could click "respond to ask" and now im afraid I might actually delete everything so... this is for u whoever u are <3 I didn't read it over this time y'all so praying for no typos... ENJOY
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—
When Se-mi first spots you, you’re crouched down in front of a table and surrounded by four other women as you throw the gonggi pieces into the air. For a solid minute, she thinks her eyes are playing tricks on her - that or this person that bears a striking resemblance to her first real friend wasn’t you at all. However, when your team rapidly advances around the bloodied track, she’s allowed a closer look at you; your hair has grown longer and you’re just a bit taller than the last time she saw you, but your eyes are still the same and that’s what confirms it for her. 
She doesn’t cheer when you win - her throat feels strangely tight and her heart is heavy in her chest even with your victory - but she does feel an overwhelming sense of relief as she watches you bound past the finish line. Seeing you smile and laugh once again stirs something inside of her, an emotion she hasn’t felt for years. 
Before you completely disappear behind the doors of the field, she swears she sees you turn around and look directly at her, vague recognition clear on your face. 
—
“Hey, where are you running off to so fast?”
Laughter rings out behind you as you pick up your pace, clutching your bag tight to your chest. Multiple footsteps fall in behind you, and with a short glance over your shoulder at the agitated faces of the girls trailing you, you realize today might not just end with a bit of teasing. It’s New Year’s Eve though and the sun is mostly set, so maybe they won’t knock you out cold so you can make it home on time to welcome the new year with your family.
“C’mon, aren’t you gonna pay us back?” For what, you want to shout, but before you even get the chance to respond, the footsteps behind you suddenly speed up. You’re practically thrown to the ground with a single hard shove on your back, arms flailing as your bag scuttles across the concrete. “My dad said your family owes us some money, you know, and I don’t mind getting it from you.”
Your head is spinning and your nose feels oddly hot, but you hear her words loud and clear and they send a deep feeling of shame through your entire body. A hand tangles itself in your hair as your head is pulled back, causing yet another fit of laughter to ring throughout the alley. “Fuck, her nose is bleeding so much! Did you break it?”
The one holding you by the hair reassures her group that you’d be fine, they could just say you fell because currently, it was your word against five other students. A part of you begins to wonder if anyone would even come help if you screamed right then - the alley was right next to the school, someone was bound to hear you. 
As the other four begin to sift through your bag for any valuables, you find your mouth sealed shut, afraid that even a whimper of pain would turn the attention of this pack of wolves back towards you. You didn’t have much in your wallet these days, and what you did have was pocket change for emergencies. They would go home disappointed either way, but whatever kept you from getting beaten the worst would be preferred. 
“What the hell, she’s only got like 5000 won in here.” The tallest girl turns to you with both confusion and disdain evident on her face. “Are you really that fucking poor? Where’s the rest of it?”
She stands right back up and so does the other three, all slowly advancing on you as you were held down by the fifth. You don’t even struggle against her loose grip on your hair, slowly coming to accept the fact that you might just have to take a beating for today, because there is no ‘the rest of it.’ 
Perhaps, if you’re lucky, they’ll get bored fast at your lack of reaction to anything they do and you’ll only go home with a bloody nose and a couple easily hidden bruises. 
You can accept that fate, you can accept your place in this world. 
“What the hell’s going on here?” 
Everyone’s heads, even yours, turn towards the lone girl standing at the entrance of the alleyway. With the setting sun behind her, her face is mostly casted in shadows. You think you recognize her as one of the troublemakers in your math class, constantly getting sent outside to stand in the hallway and ‘think about what she’s done.’ Even after being in the same class for two years, you still haven’t quite learned anything about her beyond her antics. The reason for why she’s butting in though, is also lost on you.
“Mind your business, Se-mi.” So that’s her name. It fits her. “We’re just teaching this one a nice lesson in karma.” 
How ironic. Five girls beating on a younger classmate would definitely bring them amazing luck for the New Year.
Se-mi’s eyes trail down towards the ground, towards you, and her eyes take in your bloody nose and the deep-blue bruise already forming on your cheek. For a second, you think she might just leave you here like anyone else would, but after some obvious inner contemplation, she speaks up once again.
“She looks like she understands it just fine now,” she says mockingly, beginning to walk closer towards you all. Her eyes are sharp, leaving no room for argument, and you only wish you could be half as strong to stand up to these girls. “Maybe you guys should just head home.” It sounds less like a suggestion than it does a threat, and your attackers respond in kind. 
“What, you got a problem with us?” It’s obviously not a real question, but a chance for Se-mi to back out now before things get serious. She doesn’t.
“Yeah, I do, so what’re we gonna do about it?” 
Inwardly, you curse yourself for inadvertently placing this stranger at risk to get beat up right alongside you for a problem that definitely had nothing to do with her. 
For a second, the girls are silent, but you can practically feel their anger growing as the one on top of you lets go of your hair. Se-mi stands her ground, expression just as cold as always as they try (and fail) to intimidate her with their glares. You’re frozen in awe of this idiot for both her courage and her poor decision-making skills.
It’s no surprise to you when the tall one lunges forward to try and land the first punch in the inevitable fight, but Se-mi is quick to dodge it and redirect her momentum right into the side of a trash can. All hell breaks loose after that, and for a second, you think your savior might just win the fight with pure skill and experience alone, but reality catches up to you both. 
With pure numbers, they bring Se-mi to the ground, and even though you scramble to your feet and try to fight them as well, you’re humbled even faster with your already pre-existing injuries and lack of knowledge on any forms of fighting. The tall one is the angriest, screaming curses at you both as you’re kicked and punched on the ground. Se-mi’s attempt to get back on her feet is thwarted by a solid hit on her face, and your lack of an attempt is rewarded with a fist right to the center of your ribcage, knocking all the air out from your lungs. 
As you’re beginning to think they might really want to kill you both, sirens in the distance interrupt the bombardment of pain on your sore body. 
“Shit, is that the police? Have we been spotted?” Their voices are now twinged with a hint of anxiety at being caught, and fortunately for the two of you, that’s all it takes to end the assault. “Let’s just leave.”
With a final kick to your back, the girls quickly grab their backpacks and run for it, long forgetting your own bag and the 5000 won that started this beatdown in the first place. 
—
As you look around the giant room for a place to eat, you find yourself unconsciously scanning the crowd for a familiar face as well. 
A part of you is sure that it was her that you walked right by in the middle of the last game, but you were so focused on facing forward to make sure you wouldn’t trip that you weren’t able to get a clear look at her face. Even after you won, you were given little to no time to do anything on the field before being ushered back to the main room. Now, you’re beginning to think that the looming threat of death is making you cling even harder to long lost dreams, but you hope that isn’t enough to make you hallucinate people you used to know. 
Sitting down on one of the unoccupied steps, you open your container and begin digging in, forcing yourself to forget the foolish dream that’s been occupying your mind for hours now. Even during the vote, you found your hand drifting towards the bright red X just in case she really was here and at risk of imminent death (just like everyone else). In the end, the blue patch on your chest is unchanging, and no imaginary companion will change that.
“Y/N?”
Your neck almost snaps clean in half with the way your head shoots up to see the person who just called your name, a name you are 100% sure you didn’t give to anyone here. Yet, when you see who it is, you’re somehow even more surprised than you would’ve been if it was some stranger. 
Se-mi casually stands right in front of you after what felt like a lifetime without her. She smiles - no, smirks at the recognition evident on your face and plops herself down right next to you.
“Long time no see, 399,” she says, her voice teetering on the edge of teasing and what might be genuine happiness to see you again. Of course, she has to ruin the moment by reminding you of the situation you had to reunite in, and you glance down at the number on her chest as well.
“Yeah, it’s good to see you again, 380.” You add as much sass to your voice as you can manage in the moment, but it comes out just as soft as you meant it in your heart because it is good to see her again. 
For a moment, the two of you can only stare at each other, picking up the differences in each person’s appearance since the last time you met. It’s the kind of peaceful silence that you haven’t been afforded for far too long, and now that it’s given to you, you can’t bring yourself to be the one that breaks it. Luckily for you, it seems like Se-mi can’t either, because all she does is stare at you with an indecipherable look in her eyes. If you had to describe it, you might say that it’s the unspoken equivalence of the softness in your voice from earlier (by now, you understand full well that the most genuine emotion you’ll get out of her might just have to come from carefully reading every one of her expressions). 
For a long time, the two of you simply eat in silence, basking in each other’s company. Your legs occasionally brush with how close she sat to you, but it doesn’t feel awkward in the slightest; if anything, it’s comforting, reminding you of your youth together before the real world caught up. 
“So, you know what I’m gonna ask you.” As always, it’s her that breaks the silence between you two, and you can’t blame her for being curious. Afterall, this was a horrible place to meet someone you know.
“My father’s business finally completely collapsed, and now we’re getting chased around the country by loan sharks,” you say, laughing a bit at your own situation. It didn’t take long for you to decide that Se-mi deserved to know the truth, but you knew she would be the last person to judge you for such circumstances. “I didn’t have any other options besides this.”
She doesn’t look at you with pity for your answer. It’s one of the traits you appreciated most from her back then. 
“What about you? How’d you end up in this shithole?” 
Your question earns you a laugh that as always, never fails to make you smile right back at her.
“I mean, I can’t say I’m getting chased around, but I’ve got a bit of debt I need to handle.” She almost decides to cut her story off there, but you’re looking at her with such genuine interest in your eyes that she can’t bring herself to hide the rest from you. How long has it been since someone cared so much about what she had to say? “College was… too expensive. I didn’t have anyone that could help out, so I’ve just been working random jobs here and there.”
Unfortunately, her answer seems completely honest. You wish you could’ve been there by her side, but your own family was dealing with a lot then too. 
“Why didn’t you just… continue to try to make it work out there?” You’re praying that your question doesn’t come off as insensitive, but she seems to find it amusing if anything. “Why would you risk losing everything like this?”
That last phrase earns you a scoff this time, and she turns away with a strained expression, clearly struggling to keep her ever cocky smirk on her face.
“I don’t have anything left to lose. This place is my chance to get a headstart or just…” The rest remains unsaid, and even though she’s speaking so casually, your heart drops at the insinuation. “...I haven’t left a mark on the world at all, Y/N. What happens here really won’t matter much to anyone out there.”
For a second, you’re stumped as to how to answer her. There’s some twisted truth to her reasoning, and you’re sure that if most of the people in this room died tomorrow, their deaths would be passed off as mere victims to loan sharks or suicide. That, or their disappearances wouldn’t be noticed at all. But no. It isn’t the same for Se-mi, and you desperately want her to know that.
“It would matter a lot to me.” You try to make it sound casual so she doesn’t tuck tail and run like she usually does, but you know it left an impact on her with the way her eyes drift to the ground and her brows furrow just slightly. “You left a pretty big impact on my life, you know that?”
As you turn back towards your food, Se-mi glances at you from the corner of her eye. There isn’t a hint of deception or even sarcasm in your face, in your voice, in any part of you. It’s a level of honesty she’s only ever experienced from you, and after being apart for so long, she had forgotten how soothing it was to be on the receiving end of such genuine kindness. 
For years now, she had found herself searching for you in every face she came across, in every friend and partner she had, in every short moment of peace she was allowed in her rocky life. Now that she’s finally found you though, she’s not sure what to do with herself. 
For the rest of night, right up until lights-out, the two of you bask in the silence once again. In your own separate ways, you both sit there and think about each other. You consider what you lost when you were separated from her. She considers the fact that she might’ve just regained something she can now lose if her own life is lost, and the thought of it terrifies her. 
When it’s time to sleep, it’s Se-mi that gets up first, albeit with a great deal of hesitance. The two of you part ways, and before you can get too far, you hear a faint whisper from behind you.
“Good luck tomorrow.”
It makes you crack a smile, turning around to see her still looking at you. Her smile is still strained, but now, there’s a hint of happiness there.
“Yeah, you too, and goodnight, Se-mi.” 
Even now, the sound of your soft voice calling her name makes her heart skip a beat.
—
“What the fuck was that…” 
You finally begin to stir awake at the groans and curses coming from beside, and all your body feels is pain.
God, they really did a number on you didn’t they?
“Fucking cops didn’t even stop for us,” the voice groans again, now paired with a faint shuffling as you watch her attempt to get back on her feet through your incredibly blurry eyes. All you can manage is to roll onto your back, looking up to see the pitch black sky.
Wait, black?! 
How long have you been out?!
“Uff!” A loud clatter of boxes graces your ears as you glance over to see her - Se-mi, was it? - right back on the ground. From the looks of it, her legs were also feeling extremely uncooperative. You already feel like shit, but she took a majority of the beating so she probably feels even worse. Guilt courses through you as she groans in pain, rolling onto her back to mimic your position. 
For a couple minutes, you both lay there in silence, staring up at the empty night sky. In the far distance, cars zoom past on the main road, likely salarymen rushing to get home to their families in time to celebrate New Years.
By now, you've come to the realization that you'll probably would have to celebrate yours alone on the ground this time, considering the fact that your body was not letting you get back up. For now, at least, maybe you can get to know your savior (or rather, attempted savior).
“...I’m sorry about this,” you whisper, sighing heavily into the cold December air.
“Did you get a few hits in on me too?” She’s clearly mocking you, but you can’t even be mad right now. 
“Still… sorry.”
“It’s whatever.” A beat of silence follows. “I never liked those bitches anyways.” 
The second part is almost whispered as if it were a secret between the two of you, and you let out a small chuckle, cutting yourself off before it becomes a laugh as pain shoots up your torso at that small movement. 
In the tranquility that follows, Se-mi begins to fully question why she was laying there on the cold concrete in extreme discomfort for a stranger - well, not really a stranger, but she doesn’t even know your name. Then she thinks back to the ugly feeling she had in her gut watching you get cornered by those stuck-up rich kids, unwilling to even fight back, and she thinks she might’ve done the right thing despite how meaningless this encounter might become. 
She looks over at your bruised face thinking about how similar you looked to a kicked puppy at that instance, and she can’t help but push your buttons even more. 
“Aren’t you glad we were able to save your 5000 won?” 
The absurdity of her statement distracts you from the pain you feel, and after a scoff and a slight shake of your head, you find yourself genuinely laughing for the first time in a long time. It doesn’t take long for her to follow, and after a couple moments, you both find yourselves giggling like children at the shitty situation.
You enjoy this rare moment of companionship for only a couple seconds before you begin hearing loud shouts in the distance.
They’re counting down, but you’re nowhere near home and neither is she.
“5!”
“Hey, what’s your name?” 
“4!”
You turn your head and answer her, and she smiles at you.
“3!”
“I’m Se-mi.” 
“2!”
It’s different hearing her name from her own mouth, spoken without any of the hatred that your attackers infused into the word.
“1!”
You both look up just in time to see fireworks lighting up the once dark sky, red, yellow, and green hues reflecting in your eyes as you force yourself to relax and take in the moment. 
In this moment, with Se-mi by your side, you don’t feel as lonely as you expected yourself to be. It’s a feeling of comfort you’re rarely given, but you openly bask in it as you think about the confidence and bravery it must’ve taken to stand up against five people like that. In another life, perhaps, you could be someone like her, protecting people like you. 
Like a knight in shining armor.
“Happy New Year, Y/N. I’m going to sleep now.” Your head snaps over in her direction as she folds her hands behind her head and closes her eyes, getting way too comfortable on the ground of a shady alleyway.
“What?” No response. “What the hell are you talking about? We’re not sleeping here!”
She bluntly ignores you and her breaths get heavier, but it’s obvious that she’s just pretending to be asleep. The thought of getting up and leaving by yourself crosses your mind, but you can’t bring yourself to part with this girl just yet.
With a resigned sigh, you roll onto your side with a pained groan and close your eyes as well, praying that no mysterious van comes to kidnap you two in this moment.
“Happy New Year, Se-mi.” Silence. “And thank you.”
You’re already facing her so when you peak open your eyes, you see her lips twitch upwards at your choice to stay, and that solidifies the deal.
When morning comes the next day, you don’t even bother going home first before walking alongside her to school. You sit next to her in class for the first time, and you share the lunch you bought with her under the guise of ‘not being able to finish it.’ She’s resistant at first, but eventually, she indulges you. 
This routine continues for the next two years. It’s only interrupted when you break the news to her that your father is forcing the family to flee because of his growing debts. 
That night, you both walk back to the alley and lay there together under the stars.
You think you might’ve seen her eyes water once or twice, but you say nothing, unwilling to break the sacred silence between the two of you. It’s the last one you share for years, until you inevitably see her again in the worst possible place.
—
As everyone begins filing out to head to the next game, Se-mi feels an uncontrollable urge to break away from her current group to go find you once again. She can already see you in the distance, but even though the two of you make eye contact for a brief moment, you look away upon seeing her already large group. 
Shoving her hands in her pockets, she begins to turn away from the rambling of Thanos and Nam-gyu behind her, but a meek voice calls out her name and stops her.
“Where are you going?” 
It’s Min-su, and he’s looking at her like a lost animal terrified of losing its protector. A wave of guilt crashes into her at the thought of leaving this poor boy to the sharks, and even though your face is still the only thing on her mind, she wonders if it’s worth it to betray her new group. 
If she left now, she might not make it through this next game. 
If she dies now, she won’t get a second chance at life (and a second chance to live by your side again, but she pushes that thought to the side for now). 
“Nowhere, let’s go.”
That’s all it takes to appease him, and with one last glance over to where she saw you last, she reintegrates herself back into the group and moves forward. 
—
Even though the first two rounds pass by without a hitch, you think this game might be the most dangerous one yet. You’ve got your own little group from the Six-Legged Race, but as the announcer called for rooms of four, you watch the youngest girl of your team get shoved out of your group by two others (sisters, if you remembered correctly). It’s heartbreaking to hear her cry out as you all ran away, but you can’t save her and save yourself at the same time. 
You’ve made it this far, and you’d be damned if you were sent home an empty handed corpse now. 
As the platform begins to spin again, you pat the shoulder of the woman standing next to you - 047. She was closer to the younger one than you were, and her death obviously shook the poor lady up. Her reaction makes you realize how distant you’ve been to everyone since you arrived (with one notable exception, of course), and you find your own heart beating hard against your chest at the thought of being abandoned as well. 
“3 players.”
Of course.
For a second, the four of you freeze. The sisters are holding onto each other’s hands with a death grip, and you know now that it’s between you and 047. A part of you thinks about shoving her down so you could run away with the other two, but something behind her catches your eye before you can do anything.
It’s Se-mi. 
She’s standing completely alone, hand held out towards nobody, and not a single other person from that group you saw her with earlier by her side. 
Like it’s muscle memory, you shove past 047 and run the fastest you’ve ever ran right at her. You hear a faint yell of gratitude from behind you as you wrap your arms around Se-mi and pull her forward towards one of the empty rooms in the distance. The impact seems to wake her out of her stupor, changing your awkward position so that now, you’re running side by side with her hand in yours. Along the way, you grab a stray girl up from the ground by the back of her sweater and pull her along to complete the three. 
As you all clamber into the room, Se-mi slams the door shut behind you, barely missing the time-out buzzer. The lock clicks shut, and you hear gunfire outside, but she ignores all of it to turn around to look at you. This is the most emotional she’s looked since you’ve reunited, eyes downturned with sadness and a hint of fear at how close she was to death. 
Ignoring the girl repeatedly thanking you to your right, you walk up to Se-mi and pull her into a tight hug, relishing in the warmth of her body. 
“I’m glad I made it in time, 380.”
You feel her arms beginning to wrap around you before the lock clicks open, forcing you to pull apart to exit the room. Your hand doesn’t leave hers, and it’s a clear signal that you’ll be sticking by her side for the rest of this game.
Se-mi doesn’t even find herself searching the arena for Min-su and the others as you walk with her back to the platform, completely distracted by the tingling sensation in her hand as you interlace your fingers together. It’s a feeling that’s new to her, being chosen by someone in a manner like this; of course, she’s been desired before, maybe even loved (despite her inability to return the other person’s feelings), but this is different somehow. In this scenario, it’s you, not some random girl she met at a bar. It’s you choosing to risk your life to make sure she continues living, and in the wake of this realization, the feelings that she’s been shoving down for countless years come rushing back to her. 
As the next rounds pass by, you remain unchanging by her side. Even as the announcer calls for 2 players, you don’t even hesitate to pull her with you, leaving behind everyone you joined up with in the last couple rounds. 
Even after you run over the blood of countless others, you never let go of her hand, and she never lets go of yours.
—
“You really saved my ass back there.”
Here, back in the comfort of this familiar room, Se-mi has regained her usual joking nature, smirking at you as you nod, very clearly proud of yourself.
“Yes, I did. Maybe you should give me your share of the prize money for that,” you say, holding out your hand to her. She laughs and wraps her arm around your shoulder, walking you back over to the steps where you had your first conversation. 
“Maybe I will, or maybe I’ll pay for a couple meals together instead.” The innuendo isn’t lost on you, and your face goes red as she gets even cockier. “It’s time I pay for you for all those lunches, but dinner wouldn’t be so bad either.”
Your face is still turned away from her in embarrassment, but she can still see the blush on your cheeks, revelling in her own ability to make you fold. You mumble something under your breath, but she’s too focused on her victory to hear you. 
“What was that?”
“I said, you’ve already saved me plenty of times before, more times than you can count, so I should treat you first.” 
The warmth in her chest returns full force, and now, it’s her fighting to keep a blush off her face, lest you start embarrassing her about that too. She wonders, what would it be like to take you out on a proper date? She imagines you all dressed up, and in that moment, she decides what she wants to spend her prize money on first when you all leave this place. 
She wants to buy you flowers. She wants to take you to a nice, luxurious restaurant and show you off, then under the stars, she’ll ask you to be hers.
“Whatever you say, pretty lady.”
That earns her a smack on the arm and a scoff as your face starts burning once again (to Se-mi’s absolute delight). 
The moment is unfortunately interrupted by the main doors sliding open, and you watch as the pink guards file in. At the front table, two giant buttons lay waiting for the remaining contestants. Everyone around you begins to speak in hushed tones, obviously discussing their plans for the next vote. 
“Are you going to change your vote?” As you spin around to face her again, Se-mi gestures down at the blue patch on your chest. 
During your entire walk back, you had been contemplating your unchanging choice to stay and risk your life. For the majority of the first two days, you lived life believing there would be no consequences to your death. You wouldn’t lose anything - your life was already in immense danger outside this place, so your family wouldn’t be too surprised if you turned up dead either. There was nothing to lose and everything to gain, and so, O was the easy choice.
Then Se-mi walks back into your life and complicates the hell out of it. 
Now, you realize that if you vote to stay, you’re also voting for her to stay and risk her life. If either of you died here, you would be wasting this chance cast upon you to experience the world by her side.
“Yes, this should be enough money for my family to be able to live normally again.” 
She nods, and even though it looks like she’s still contemplating her decision, Se-mi made her choice as soon as you took her hand in the last game.
“Even if there were less money in the pig right now, I think I’d still pick to leave.” You smile softly at her and look her directly in the eye as you continue. “Being wealthy is a faraway dream, but for now, I just want to live in the company of those I love.” You squeeze her hand and hold your gaze, and this time, Se-mi isn’t able to hold back the blush that rushes onto her face.
If these games don’t take her out, you’ll really be the death of her.
—
As you silently eat what is hopefully your last meal in this place together, two groups of men clamber out of the bathroom. They’re bloodied and there’s a horrifying look of pure bloodlust on many of their faces, and you feel your heart drop. 
Would there be a fight tonight? Is that allowed?
Se-mi sees the fear on your face and gently rubs her thumb on the back of her hand. Despite her best efforts though, your concerns are not assuaged and you realize that getting shot by the pink guards might not be the only way you can die in this place. 
These people are hungry and hopeless, and you fully understand the lengths many would go through for a second chance.
“Se-mi, sleep with me tonight.” 
Her eyebrows raise and she smirks, but even this attempt to lighten the air with her usual humor doesn’t work, but still, she agrees immediately and you try to swallow the lump in your throat. You’re sure that no matter what happens, you won’t find sleep tonight, but that pales in comparison to your desire to protect Se-mi at all costs. 
You won’t leave this place without her. 
—
As the strobe lights turn on and off, your eyes bounce around the room as you search for somewhere, anywhere that might be free of the insane violence. Every way you look, there’s some sort of fight happening - that or you’ve just watched someone get brutally murdered in their own bed. For a second, you consider that you might be safe if you and her just stand still in your little corner, but a man rounds the corner and you feel yourself freeze up.
“Come here, you fucking traitor bitch!” It’s 124, and he looks like a rabid animal with red painted across his face and a bloody fork in his hand. In the back of your mind, you slap yourself for not keeping the utensil for self defense. 
Se-mi attempts to shove you further behind her as he begins charging at you two, but before you can even make a move, a glass bottle shatters at his feet. You all look up to see a young man that you don’t recognize, but from the rage on 124’s face, you figure he might’ve been one of his old teammates. 
In their distracted states, you rush forward, grabbing a shard of glass from the floor and swinging it right at the man’s head. Unfortunately for you, you still have absolutely no skills when it comes to fighting and he easily dodges the hit. It doesn’t feel like some slow motion action movie when you see his fork flying at your neck at full speed, but somehow, you’re fast enough to lift your hand so that it punctures right through your palm instead. You scream, and behind you, Se-mi calls your name as well. 
In an extremely painful rush of adrenaline, you maneuver his and your body to switch places, trusting Se-mi to take care of the rest. In the few flashes of light that you’re granted, you see her rush forward with her own shard of glass in hand, unforgivingly jabbing it right into the side of 124’s neck. 
“Fuck! Fucking bitch!” His scream pierces your ears as he finally lets you go, and you don’t waste the moment you get. Pulling his fork out of your hand, you slam it down into the side of his head with all your strength. 
A beat passes, then he falls to the ground unmoving. 
“Are you okay?! Let me see!” Se-mi rushes forward and takes you in her arms, dragging both of you backwards towards the wall as she inspected your injuries. In the rush that followed watching someone die by your own hands, you can barely feel the pain at all. All you can focus on is the woman in front of you and how afraid you were when 124 charged at her. 
“Se-mi - Se-mi, listen to me,” you choke you, using your bloody hands to gently hold her face. Her eyes are glossy with unshed tears, and you can see how much the encounter shook her to her core. “When we leave this place, promise me you’ll stay by my side.”
Your voice is desperate and you can feel your own tears rising, vision getting blurry as you struggle to wipe them off with the sleeve of your sweater. It looks like Se-mi barely heard your request with the way she was still scanning your body for any serious injuries. 
“What?! What are you-”
“Promise me! Please!” You’re openly sobbing now, holding onto the one thing keeping you moving in this world, and finally, she focuses her gaze back on your face. With a quiet voice, she finally responds to you with a shaky smile.
“How could I ever leave you?”
Her eyes are the most expressive they’ve been, filled with concern and what looks like love, the same love that you’ve held for her ever since you were 16. 
With trembling hands, she holds your face just as you hold hers and leans in, pressing her lips against yours. It’s not gentle - it’s more desperate if anything, but you feel like flying in that moment. As your legs slowly give out, she holds you carefully in her arms and lowers the both of you to the floor. 
Finally, as you begin to drown out the surrounding chaos, the world around you falls silent as well. You close your eyes and imagine that you’re back in that alleyway, finally at peace with the person you love the most.
When you open your eyes again, she’s still right there in front of you, and you’re the happiest you’ve been since the day you met.
—
A/N: PLOT MONSTER STRIKES AGAIN!!! anyways this was inspired by a cherry waves edit I saw of her on TikTok where she told min-su "I thought you wouldn't deceive me" so I had to give her a girl that she KNOWS would never deceive her... okay guys hope y'all enjoy and as always plz PLZ LMK WHAT U THINK!! I love interacting with y'all im serious... and for the no eul lovers I see u and I hear u... but its gonna be a bit till that one comes out cuz im about to start second semester college... hashtag NOT FUNNY ANYMORE
also im still playing around with the layout of my posts so if I keep doing different sht and it throws u off im so sorry LOL
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hiraizyo ¡ 2 days ago
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running in circles, now look what you’ve done.
synopsis — tension grows between you and daniela as you’re faced with newfound feelings.
friends with benefits, suggestive, fluff, angst, swearing, jealous!reader, lesserafim 6th member!reader
now playing: friends, chase atlantic.
a/n: continuation of this. reader & dani need to get their shit together, reader is also kinda an asshole :/ she’s really trying tho !!! this is like lowk sad-ish WHOOPS. the previous imagine focused mainly on dani, so this one will showcase reader’s feelings :)
++ in honor of reaching 111 followers i wrote this longer than i planned for <3
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the week flies by, and before you know it, you’re in LA for a couple days, busying yourself with scheduled photoshoots. you’re jet lagged by the time you’ve landed, wanting to only crawl into bed and sleep for hours. the friday comes and goes, and you’re exhausted by the end of it from the rigorous routine of changing into different outfits and fittings, having your makeup retouched constantly.
currently, you were sitting at the dinner table of your apartment here in LA, impulsively buying it after hearing the complaints of yunjin about staying in hotels every time lesserafim came to the states. your hair was damp from the shower you’d had half an hour ago, and you were nursing a warm cup of tea.
the sound of the face time ringing echoed around the room, leaning back against the chair as you waited for daniela to pick up.
the chiming notes alerted you that your face time was answered, and you smiled immediately seeing the curly haired girl come into frame.
“hey.” you said quietly, but your voice was filled with clear enthusiasm.
daniela shuffled around, her room door closing in the background. “shit, sorry. lara wouldn’t leave me alone.” she leaned back against the headboard, balancing her phone on her knees. “what’s up?”
at the mention of her member, you felt your chest tighten. it wasn’t a secret that all katseye girls were close, and while you were mostly fine with it, something about daniela and lara’s friendship irked you.
you shrugged the feeling off, focusing on the latina in front of you through the screen. “nothing, really. the shoots went well, and i got here about an hour ago.”
daniela nodded, listening intently. “were the outfits any good?”
you grinned, humming loudly. “yep, i think you’ll like them a lot when they’re posted. but fair warning, i looked really hot, so try not to fall in love with me or anything.”
the blonde rolled her eyes in a light hearted manner, “oh please. never in a million years.”
you chuckled, loving the teasing game between you and her. it was times like this when you really enjoyed your friendship, being able to match one another’s energy despite your agreement.
“ouch,” you dramatically placed a hand over your heart, clutching at your chest. “you wound me, dani.”
daniela giggled noisily, smiling so wide that her dimples showed. “i’m excited to see you tomorrow.”
you swallowed down some of your tea, the taste nice and sweet. adjusting yourself in the dining room chair, you propped up your leg to lean your head against it. “me too.”
without realizing it, daniela’s hand reached to play with your necklace around her neck. the action caused you to follow her movements, stomach fluttering.
“so, are you going to tell me about this surprise or what?” she attempted to get it out of you, like she’d been doing for the past week.
“ah uh,” you tutted and cheekily wagged a finger at her. “that’s not how surprises work.”
“pleaseee.” she begged, whining as she threw her head back. daniela looked at you a moment later, trying her best to coax you with her eyes.
“you know your charms don’t work on me like that.” you clicked your tongue, the tug of you slips never leaving.
daniela squinted at you, her voice dropping an octave. “they worked enough to get you into bed with me.”
your reaction was comical, looking gobsmacked at her, mouth hanging open. a second later, a sheepish laughed escaped you as you ducked your head down, trying to hide your blush.
“now we’re shy all of a sudden?” she added on, her teasing grin still in place.
“shut up!” you hollered at her. your body felt warm, and you were sure your cheeks were redder than ever by now.
“i think it’s cute.” daniela told you, beaming at you. her eyes crinkled at the sides as happiness ran through her like electricity.
when you finally recomposed yourself, and daniela decided you’d had enough of her teasing, the conversation flowed easily between you two, going from the different work schedules to shows you were recently into.
time seemed to pass by quickly, and it wasn’t long before telling daniela was telling you her goodbyes after seeing you let out yawn for the second time.
after hanging up and bidding her a goodnight, the remnants of the call lingered with you. though you were tired a second ago, your mind was filled with the thoughts of daniela. a warmth spread from your heart, and you could tell you were carefully threading on the line of thinking her as more than a friend.
the realization scared you, knowing that what was going on between you and her was strictly fun and games.
you were never good with feelings, it was why most of your relationships had ended up in flames, the only exception being kazuha. romantic entanglements always left you feeling empty — whether that was because of the way you saw yourself, pushing others away for self preservation, or the way you’s seen love around you crash and burn, you weren’t sure.
so, with a heavy sigh, you buried it deep inside, deciding to deal with it another day.
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you were rarely an angry person, you prided yourself on that. but now, staring at daniela’s instagram story of her and lara, the dark feeling coursed through your veins.
it was a simple photo, one that wouldn’t bother any other person. but what had you clamping your teeth together was the hand placement of lara. her fingers wrapped around daniela’s waist lowly, hugging her close against her body as they stood side by side.
you scoffed, trying to get the image out of your head. daniela would be at your apartment soon, you’d texted her the address earlier in the day, and you didn’t want to ruin your little surprise with your sour mood.
twenty minutes passed by — daniela was late. you usually didn’t fret much on people being on time, especially if it was for a casual hangout, but knowing who the girl was with at the moment blurred your rational thinking.
when she finally reached your place, the door was quickly being closed behind her and she barely had a chance to register her surroundings before you were pressing her against the door, lips attaching to hers.
daniela gasped, startled by your sudden movements. her body melted into yours, fingers digging into the waistband of your pants. your hands fell to her hips, gripping them harshly in the same place lara’s hands were, squeezing the flesh delicately, as if staking your claim. your tongue dipped out to run along her bottom lip, asking for entrance. daniela denied you, leaning her head away as you chased after her.
her hands left your waistband and she placed them on your chest, “someone’s eager.” she chuckled, her lipstick now a mess.
“just missed you,” mumbling hazily, you breathed out in heavy pants. “and i had a really long day yesterday.”
daniela smirked and leaned up until we lips were touching the shell of your ear, whispering lowly. “planning to fuck your frustrations out on me?” she was teasing you, drawing out a deep rumble from you.
one of your hands released the grip on her hip, cupping her jaw as you moved her back to face you and closing the tiny gap between you two.
“you talk too much.”
whatever daniela wanted to say next was swallowed down as you pressed a harsh kiss to her lips once again. you tasted hints of caramel on them, feeling like you addicted and she was your fix.
your body pressed further into hers until your hips rocked together, and your hand made its way into her hair, wrapping your fingers around her curls. daniela’s hands on your chest trailed over until they were gripping your bicep, digging her nails into them. she sighed heavenly, kissing you back with just as much force.
when the need for air was too much, you both parted, breathing heavily. your mind was still reeling from the jealousy you felt, so you hung you head low as your forehead was placed on the junction between daniela’s neck and shoulder.
her body slumped against the door, skin tingling as your hands snuck under her shirt, holding onto her torso.
you were breathing together now, as if you were one person. chest to chest, daniela’s heart beat rapidly against her rib cage. she couldn’t tell that your eyes were closed, trying to recollect yourself, and when you pulled away from, the silver chain of your necklace caught your attention.
at the sight of it, your mind cleared. the jealousy faded away and all that was left was a warm glow in your chest.
your fingers delicately took hold of the necklace, smiling gently. “you’re wearing it.”
daniela gazed at you, pupils dilating. “of course.” she said quietly, “it feels like i have a part of you with me.”
your breath hitched at her words, stuttering for a moment. her hand reached for yours, the necklace dropping around her neck as your fingers locked together.
“tell me about the surprise now.” daniela peered at you, pouting lightly.
you chuckled, finally stepping away from her and pulled her along with you, your hands never letting go of one another.
gesturing around you with your free hand, your lips tugging into a smile seeing the fully furnished place. it was an open floor plan, big enough to have two couches in place, a coffee table, an entertainment system with a flat screen tv, and a dining room on the other end of the room.
daniela looked around, taking in the place though her confusion was visible. you quietly snickered to yourself, running your thumb along the back of her hand.
“i bought it a while ago so that whenever the girls and i come to the states we have a place to crash.” you briefly explained, a gentle smile gracing your features as you observed daniela’s reaction.
“i wanted you to be the first to see it.”
in an instant, her stare shot from looking at the decor to yours. her grip tightened, squeezing your hand for a short second.
and there it was, the stars in her eyes.
hanging in air was the unspoken feelings between you and daniela. the atmosphere around you was soft and intimate, falling deeper into one another.
“yn…” she laughed breathlessly, “this place is amazing.”
you shrugged, keeping your gaze on her as she looked around for a second time. “i figured a hotel would be too risky, especially with paparazzi, so i thought we could spend the night here.”
daniela looked at you again, her grin widening. she used your intertwined hands to pull you closer until your body crashed into hers. she kissed you gently, with such passion and intimacy it made your head spin.
you stopped the kiss for a brief moment, tugging her into the direction of the hallway, a dark glint in yours eyes.
“come on,” you faced her, walking backwards. “the rest of the surprise is in the bedroom.”
daniela giggled, kissing you once again. you laughed together as you made your way to the bedroom in a flurry of kisses, yanking on one another’s clothes and almost tripping over your own feet in your rushed movements.
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soft music echoed around the apartment, you and daniela sitting together on couch cushions by the coffee table. takeout boxes were littered on the glass surface, the food half eaten.
there’s a certain comforting feeling surrounding the both of you. daniela was wearing one of your oversized shirts, the sleeve reaching her elbow.
you sighed contentedly, wiping your hands on a napkin and tossing it into the table. “i forgot how hungry sex makes you.”
daniela chortled, “what a romantic thing to say.”
“i try.” you shrugged lightly, grinning like a cat.
she shoved your arm softly, mumbling something incoherent under her breath. you broke into a fit of giggles at her faux angry look. her eyebrows were scrunched together cutely, and her lips were pressed together in a thin line.
you softly nudged on her frown lines, earning a swat on your hand from the latina. she tried to seem annoyed, but the smile you had caused for her own to form.
the two of you settle in a pleasant silence, enjoying one another’s presence. you felt content, thinking you could get used to nights like this with daniela.
“can i ask you something?” her voice breaks the peacefulness. you hummed, leaning your back against the couch and looked at her, tilting your head towards her.
daniela paused, contemplating if she really wanted to ask this. it’d been on her mind for weeks now, ever since the conversation with megan, and the curiosity was killing her. her fingers were wringing together in nervous. she spoke so softly, you had to strain your ear in order to hear her.
“why didn’t you tell me about kazuha?”
the question hangs in the air. you hadn’t expected her to ask this, you weren’t even aware she knew about your and your group member.
“mmh?” your eyebrows creased together, now facing daneila.
“you and kazuha.” she repeated, voice firm. “why didn’t you mention it?”
the latina watched you carefully as you sighed and sat up, staring in front of you. the sudden shift in the room weighed on her, and she feared she had said something wrong. she opened her mouth to tell you never mind, to forget she even asked, but your voice stopped her.
“i didn’t say anything because i didn’t think it was important.” you shrugged carelessly, longingly looking ahead of you. “kazuha and i were together around the time of our debut. she and i were getting closer, and it just sorta… happened.”
you swallowed down a lump that formed at the memories briefly playing in your head. “but it’s over. it was over long before you and i started this.”
in a flash, the memories left your mind. your chest felt heavy, but the lingering scent of daniela’s perfume brought you back. you reminded yourself that kazuha was in the past, and you were better off as friends in any case.
daniela couldn’t stop herself from staring at you, your body language now closed off. it was clear that her question had changed the mood.
“okay.” she mumbled, hushed and quiet.
as you struggled between your past and present, you wet your bottom lip, suddenly becoming aware that you had never spoken about kazuha before, so how did daniela hear about it?
you looked her at in suspicion, “how did you know about that, anyways?”
“does it matter how i know?” daniela retorted quickly, eyebrow raised in defense.
“yes.” you stated, your voice indicating that you were beginning to feel annoyed. “because the only people who’re aware about kazuha and i are my members, and if you knew then you must be talking to one of them, or something.”
“i’m not talking to any of your members, yn.” daniela denied, feeling as if your accusing tone was uncalled for.
“good.” finally turning to look into her eyes, you gave her a pointed gaze. “we agreed to keep this a secret, remember?”
“how can i not remember? you never let me forget it.” she countered bitterly, folding her arms on her lap tightly.
the gravity of the situation took a turn, you could sense it. what was once calm waters was now turning into a high tide. the feelings you and daniela kept hidden beneath the surface came bubbling out in the worst way possible.
daniela was getting defensive and rightfully so, while you had displeasure overpowering your emotions, acting irrationally, spewing out words without giving it an ounce of thought.
“dani, our members can’t know.” you stressed, sitting up to face her fully. “they’ll just try and get involved, ask all sorts of questions, worry about us.”
the blonde squinted at you in disbelief, waving her hand around. “obviously they’ll worry, they’re our friends.”
“it doesn’t matter!” you screeched out, face contorting into one of anger. “it’s better for the both of us to be a secret.”
you got up from your position on the floor, setting the couch cushion back in its place on the furniture. daniela followed your movements, standing across from you, and even though you were right in front of her, it suddenly felt as if you were miles apart.
“right, a secret.” daniela scoffed, looking off to the side. her arms were rigid at her side, clicking her tongue over her teeth.
“or are you just worried how a certain member will react if she finds out?” she questioned, using the same accusing tone you had on her.
you brushed your fingers through your hair, messing it up even more. all you could do was stare at her, jaw clenched at this unbelievable impression she had of you and kazuha.
you blinked, gaze now glaring at her. “don’t do that..” you sighed, shaking your head.
“do what?” she asked, titling her head mockingly.
“say things like that and expect me to read between the lines!” you yelled out, the anger you felt now being put out in the open.
it was alarming how quickly daniela’s demeanor changed. in a split second, her look of wrath and jealousy turned into a blank expression. she swallowed, her throat bobbing up and down. the latina looked around the room, her body feeling exhausted from her rise in temper.
“i think i should go.” she announced, gesturing to the door.
“fine.” you waved, shutting yourself away from her. your voice was cold, “go.”
daniela huffed, not sparing you a second glance as she hurriedly collected her things. when she exited the bedroom, coming out from the hallway fully dressed, you were still standing the place she left you.
a part of her wanted you to stop her, tell her to stay, tell her that everything would be alright. but her desires weren’t met as you stood rooted in your spot. her heart clenched, wondering if this was the end.
with final look, she took her leave.
the door shutting behind her had you gasping for air, the little argument taking its toll on you. you screwed your eyes shut, your mind spiraling with thoughts.
what the fuck just happened? you asked yourself, the takeout on the coffee table reminding of how quickly the night took a turn.
falling back onto the couch and slumping into the softness of it, your hand reached to rub the back of your neck. guilt consumed you, regret taking its hold over you. your hands trembled, stuffing your face into them as you replayed the quarrel in your head.
daniela was long gone from the apartment building, and your heart was taken with her.
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it wasn’t the end, at least not yet.
you and daniela didn’t talk for days, the last conversation being the one in your apartment. even when you’d left to go back to south korea, you contemplated texting her, but ultimately decided against it.
you were both feeling the aftermath of everything, coping in your own ways. and how that worked for you, was to binge watch your favorite comfort show. your members joined here and there, they could tell something was up with you but they didn’t ask any questions, knowing that you needed the space and you would talk when you were ready.
it didn’t stop them from speculating, though. yunjin had a feeling that it was to do with daniela, hearing from megan and sophia that the latina wasn’t doing well either. she voiced her concerns to the members, and it was kazuha who promised she’d talk to you when the time was right.
as you got up from your bed to get a drink from the fridge, your phone began to ring. slugging yourself towards it, daniela’s name was clear and bright on your screen.
your heart quickened and your throat felt constricted. why was she calling? what did she have to say to you? when you answered the call, the last thing you expected was for her to be sounding angry, again.
“what fucking shit are you trying to pull?”
you frowned, sitting down on at the foot of the bed. feeling ticked off at her, you matched her fiery tone. “i’m sorry? you don’t talk to me for days and now you’re calling, yelling at me?”
on the other end, daniela rolled her eyes. the rest of the kats were all pilled into the lounge, planning for a movie marathon to cheer up their friend. they could hear her yells from the other room, glancing around at one another in concern.
“shut it,” she barked out. daniela’s hand was on her hip, visibly enraged. “what’s with the gift, huh?”
confusion was etched onto your face. “what are you talking about?”
daniela grumbled, “the gift, yn.” she hollered out, staring at a black box that sat on the kitchen island. the lid of the box lay next to it, while a silver bracelet delicately resting inside. “why is there a gift at the house with my name on it?”
hearing this, you slumped your shoulders and pressed a hand to your forehead. “shit.” you mumbled, the matching bracelet of your necklace slipped your mind once you came back home.
“i ordered it last week while i was in cali. it would take a couple days to get to you, but i forgot about it, dani.” you offered an explanation for the situation. “it was meant to be a surprise.”
daniela’s anger faded. she looked at the silver bracelet and reached out to touch it, gently. her emotions were all over the place, feeling confusion and resentment, but she also couldn’t deny the butterflies that swarmed in her stomach at the gesture.
“what does it mean?” she asked, afraid of the answer.
you stilled, breath being caught in your throat. now would be your chance to tell everything you’d been feeling the past month and a half, but something was stopping you.
what if daniela didn’t feel the same way? what if everything thats been happening was nothing her? what if, when you finally showed all yourself, daniela wouldn’t like what she saw?
as if on instinct, you shut your eyes and did what you do best — shoving your feelings deep inside, locking it away.
“nothing.”
daniela dropped the bracelet back in its place inside the box. hurt washed over her, reality had finally set in. “are you being for real?”
“the gift means nothing, dani.” you told her, even if your heart was screaming at you. “i saw it and thought you’d like it. i don’t know what else you want me to say.”
daniela stood in the katseye dorm, her walls finally crashing down. you both knew that this wasn’t the kind of gift you’d get someone for it to mean nothing, especially when it involved a relationship like yours and daniela’s.
much like the last time you’d seen one another, daniela did her best to mask her feelings. if you could see her now, you’d notice the tears that welled in her eyes, threatening to fall. she took in a deep breath, her voice wavering.
“don’t talk to me again.” daniela uttered, her vision blurry. “ever.”
she hang up from the call, and the second she did a cry ripped from her chest. her stomach was churning, throat feeling blocked as she choked out a sob.
the katseye girls rushed into the space where she was, watching as daniela’s whole world crumbled around her. manon took her into her arms, and daniela knew then she’d finally have to let her members in on her secret arrangement with you.
she definitely wasn’t looking forward to that.
the end of the call left a ringing in your ears, you barely registered how your phone fell from you hands and dropped onto the floor, the thud reverberating around you.
your eyes were beginning to sting. unblinking, you felt your hands shake. everything was spilling out all at once.
a knock was heard at the door, and then kazuha came into the room, noticing your vacant look. you didn’t take any note of her, continuing to stare ahead of you.
she walked towards you, cautiously, slowly, and it was only once kazuha kneeled in front of you did she see the millions of emotions in your eyes.
“yn, are you okay?” her voice broke your daze.
you gasped, chest aching. “zuha…” you called, choking on your words. “i think i really fucked things up with daniela.”
“what do you mean?” kazuha frowned, her hand being placed on your thigh. the weight of the her hand made it feel as if you were being awakened from a dream.
wiping away a stray tear that fell, you wet your lips, finally revealing what had been going on behind the curtains. “dani and i — ahem — we were hooking up. for the past several months, she and i would meet each other secretly. and… i-i couldn’t stop it, zuha. i kept having all these the feelings. and- and i didn’t know what to do.”
kazuha’s eyes widened at your state, seeing the walls around you break down. you were gasping for breath, clutching at your chest. your stomach felt as if it was being twisted, like you would throw up at any moment.
the japanese struggled to find the words to comfort you, but she didn’t need to as you began to speak again.
your voice shook, blinking slowly. “i got her this gift, and i told her it meant nothing.”
kazuha got off her knees, sitting besides you. the bed dipped, “did it?” she questioned.
you shook your head faintly, “no.” your hands grasped at kazuha’s, desperately holding on to them. “i don’t know. fuck, i’ve probably ruined our entire friendship too.”
the dark haired girl pulled your hands onto her lap, forcing you to look at her. it was a sight to behold — seeing her usually stoic member breaking down, eyes red and body shaking.
“hey, listen to me.” she leaned her head down until you were looking into her eyes. “you hid your arrangement pretty well, y’know. but i’ve seen the way you talk about her, the way you look at her. i know how you get when you have feelings for someone.”
she smiled gently, cupping your cheek as she wiped away your tears. kazuha had a warmth about her that made it easy to fall into her touch.
“she told me to never talk to her again.” you mumbled, a few more tears seeped out.
“so what?” kauzha shrugged. her eyes were gentle, furrowing her eyebrows together as she cradled your face in her hands. “you can’t push her away just because you think you’re unloveable.”
this was a delicate situation, and your emotions were at its highest. she needed to tread with caution, but her blunt honesty was necessary to realize your mistakes.
“everything i touch breaks, zuha.” your voice cracked, pain evident in it. you whispered it to her, “even with you and me.”
kazuha muttered no’s under her breath, denying you the opportunity to blame yourself even for a second. “we only ended because we were better off as friends, you know that.”
she spoke with conviction, but the soft features of her face lightened her words. “i get the past hasn’t been kind to you, but you can’t let it ruin your relationships anymore.” kazuha looked deep your eyes as they shone with heartache. “i can tell you really, really like her.”
you nodded, heart pounding. “more than anything.”
kazuha smiled at the quick response, “then let her know.”
her words made your lips tremble, knowing that your relationship with daniela had already crumbled. “she’s not going to want to speak to me after that call. i mean, how do i— wh- what am i even supposed to say?”
the girl pulled you closer, speaking in a rushed manner. “everything. tell her how you feel, why you acted like that. why you were so scared. you have to let her in, yn.”
your eyes were darting around, trying to regain control of yourself. your bottom lip was caught between your teeth, breathing fitfully.
kazuha could tell you were close to a panic attack at all the emotions you were feeling. you’d been carrying this weight on your shoulders for so long, hiding your feelings for daniela since the very first night you stayed at her place.
she rested her forehead against yours, reminding you to breathe. your eyes squeezed shut, as you listened to her mutter sweet nothings, running a hand through your hair to calm you down.
when the worst of it had passed, your head rested in the crook of her neck, falling into her. your breathing had evened out, and your body ached with exhaustion of the emotional breakthrough.
you lips brushed against her skin, “thank you, zuha.” the girl smiled, patting your back until you eyes began to feel droopy.
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PLEASE DONT HATE ME Y’ALL 💔 it gets worse before it gets better :/
i MIGHT publish a fluffy lara fic to heal from this lmao, but the next part yn & dani are happy again gang :)
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angelicgirlmj ¡ 2 days ago
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an angels glow up guide for 2025 ⋆.˚
have you tried to glow up before, only to fail to see results, feel unmotivated and give up? realise that you don’t actually have the energy or motivation or discipline to suddenly change your life? this guide is meant to help you glow up at your own pace - treat it as a checklist or pick a few tasks from each section! whatever speed you move at remember that any progress is positive. feel proud of yourself angel - 2025 is your year!
PREPARING ⋆.˚
research, research, research!! this is the best way to actually create a plan/guide and have it stick for you. here are some of my planning video recommendations:
youtube
youtube
youtube
youtube
after you’ve watched some videos, read some posts and articles now it’s time to start specifically planning for YOU, here are my favourite things to do:
make a vision board.
buy or source what you’ll need (e.g a gym membership, a waterbottle). treat yourself as much as you can!
clean and tidy your space.
sort through your drawers, clothes and so on. donate what you can and clear some space out.
make a playlist full of motivational songs and the energy you want to bring into the new year.
have an everything shower - feel your cleanest and best for your new goals.
make a pinterest board with a section for every specific goal you have.
make a planner or organiser. write down all of your goals, ideas and plans. start journalling about how you will achieve them and how the you of the future will look having achieved them all!
research and find apps, youtubers or guides specific for your goals that can continue to help you feel motivated and energised.
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HEALTH ⋆.˚
your health should be your priority this year! you cant glow up mentally, physically or spiritually unless your body is functioning at its best. here are some essential health focused habits to adopt so you can be your best in every single way:
walk a minimum of 5k steps a day.
drink 2 litres of water a day.
stop skipping meals! having three meals a day ensures that your body is running at its best and functioning how it should.
at least two servings of fruit or veggies per meal.
adding vitamins or supplements in your diet when you can.
yoga every morning and evening.
outside time every day.
find a workout plan that works for you and your lifestyle.
try to eat cleaner, avoid super sugary foods, fast food, anything that stops your from feeling your best.
plan your meals in advance.
have an early night - get at least 7-8 hours.
reduce your caffeine where possible, try herbal teas, matcha and so on.
emphasise a balanced diet and plate.
practice meditation and breathing.
stretch before and after every workout.
stop using screens at least an hour before you go to bed.
cook more - stop buying takeout or ready meals as much as possible.
have rest days, your body and muscles need some time to recover.
change your attitude! workout because you love your body not because you hate it.
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BODY + APPEARANCE ⋆.˚
your body and appearance always tends to be a strong emphasis in glow up guides and while i think it’s important i think it’s better and more effective to focus on health, wellness and your mental space which in turn will lead to a bigger physical/appearance based glowup! i do love sharing tips for your body and appearance and i feel it’s something that i should share just with the reminder on where you should invest most of your time and energy
face
ice face every morning.
gua sha routine 3-4 times a week.
double cleanse to remove makeup, spf etc.
suncream every day!
moisturise twice a day to keep skin hydrated.
perfect your makeup and skincare routine.
gently pluck eyebrows to keep them more clean.
face mask once a week.
spot treatments where needed.
lip masks/treatments regularly.
silk pillowcase to prevent acne!
washing hands before touching face.
use a facial oil.
try regular face massages.
hair
invest in a bonnet or silk hair ties.
sleep in a protective style.
try out new hair styles to fit your hair type!
double cleanse with shampoo.
hair masks and oils pre wash.
heat protectant whenever you use heat.
embracing your natural hair.
investing in a hair oil.
buy cute hair accessories to make your hair more fun and for you!
leave your conditioner on your hair for a minimum five minutes.
try rice water for hair growth.
get regular haircuts - get those dead ends trimmed!
figure out how often to wash your hair and commit to that.
ensure all shampoo and conditioner is washed out your hair.
use a scalp scrub/exfoliant.
body
ditch the loofa and invest in an african shower net.
exfoliate before you shave.
change your razor head once a month.
use a neutral soap bar to cleanse your body then go in with a shower gel.
use a plain thick lotion, then a body oil and then a scented lotion for baby soft skin.
exfoliate your feet regularly.
find your signature scents.
use a roll on deodorant and replace it regularly. bring it in your bag/out with you.
have an everything shower once a week.
use a cuticle oil and hand cream.
file and paint your nails once a week.
cut your toenails once a week, paint and make look pretty!
dry brush your body before washing/showering.
the last minute of your shower should be cold!
spf on your body when it’s more exposed.
figure out your body type and dress to work with that.
invest in more jewellery and accessories.
teeth + oral care
floss daily.
mouthwash twice a day.
clean teeth before and after breakfast.
oil pull three times a week!
carry gum in your bag at all times.
invest in a water floss.
get teeth whitening strips or get your teeth whitened.
if you have a retainer etc, use it!!
tongue scrape.
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MIND ⋆.˚
to glow up properly i really believe you need to have a mental glow up as well! your mental health and wellbeing is so deeply important and such a good thing to prioritise as much as possible. here are my suggestions to help you get a mental shift/change:
read every day. set a goal and achieve it.
journal every day.
watch more long form content - avoid short form.
plan your future/dream life, what mental goals will you need to achieve?
socialise more when possible, surround yourself with good and rewarding people.
learn a new hobby or skill, such as learning a new language!
become more curious, ask yourself why. learn about what interests you.
visit libraries more.
set your school device up to maximise your academic productivity!
learn to love and cherish your alone time.
take mental health walks.
find podcasts and audiobooks that interest you.
set time limits on apps like tiktok and so on that suck you in too much, they are time wasters.
read the news/news articles mores.
find a calendar and prep your days and weeks ahead of time.
set up a notion!
follow creators who inspire you positively and are healthy for you to engage with.
cut out bad habits and people.
fix your sleep schedule, dedicate your evenings just for you!
become more ‘cultured’ visit museums, read more and educate yourself.
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FINANCE ⋆.˚
shop mindfully - stop impulse purchasing!
build a budget.
set a spending limit monthly.
figure out your financial goals for 2025.
try thrifting or shopping second hand.
more expensive better quality products are longer lasting - weigh that up when shopping.
cook more!
keep a spending tracker.
instead of buying a product immediately, add it to your basket and weigh it up.
follow creators who give spending tips!
if possible consider investing or what you could do better with your money.
give to charity if you can.
work hard, consider what you can do to get promotions, find a job etc.
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thank you for reading angels! have fun glowing up for 2025.
love, m.
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definitelynotshouting ¡ 1 day ago
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saw this post assigning devastating quotes to each life series members, got incredibly inspired, and decided to try my own hand at it but specifically with snippets of the poetry ive personally written throughout the years :] thoughts and musings on several of my choices will be under the cut if you're interested in that sorta thing!! Enjoy<3
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Bdubs: "it's all so blue. so blue, so wet, so cold, but you've got a fire in your heart like a hundred rockets. you aren't hungry, but you could eat the dead, / cut your teeth on a rotting corpse."
BigB: "SOMETHING HAS FRACTURED HERE AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. EACH DAY YOU WILL CHASE THE FAULT LINES LOOKING FOR A BRIDGE ONLY TO FIND IT ALREADY BURNT."
Etho: "I am above myself, hovering, pressing pale fingers into the dull bruise of yesterday to test its lingering ache. Is this all that's left?"
Gem: "what are gods if not the mothers of our own inventions. we are the avatars of violence and love and hope and fear in equal measure."
Scar: "I think I want to live. I know one day, I must die. In the cosmic wheel of fortune, I am a gamble in the making, gentle breath washing a little luck over the dice."
Grian: "Within the shape of my clawed fingers are knives: scrabbled dirt; scarlet lines; the escape route / Between a fence and / Tall grasses."
Impulse: "Life's bitter, stilted offering / Is that every person we meet / Will one day become a perfect stranger."
Martyn: "Dangerous beasts must earn / Their survival. / You are no different than a knife / In the hands of murderers."
Lizzie: "When I think of the egg-tooth, / I revel in purple glass; the lightning; the shatter; the knife-slip between / Death, and a wake."
Mumbo: "This is your life now, / Found in the cracks and crevices, scraps pried between laughter and reckless abandon."
Pearl: "I am begging, raw in the face of absolution— do not hate me. Please, keep watering me in your garden, / Despite how closely my heart resembles a weed."
Ren: "— and sometimes hearts are forged in violence /— and sometimes blood cannot form scabs / — and sometimes wounds carry half-hearted sutures / — and we are all but living fragments / —"
Skizz: "Just a little longer. Please. / There is light pooling at the bottom of the flower vase."
Scott: "I can only hope that with the rising of the dawn / I will pass through darkness and return to day, / Where I am a solar ray blinding— teeth and claws sharpened, the stretch of my skin carrying gold / Above the dull, dug out earth"
Joel: "Tamed by nothing, no one, I lose myself to the shattered chains; / Yes, there is a loss."
Jimmy: "for year after bloody year, i clung to life with aching fingernails, grasped at every straw, took every scrap of double-barrelled hope and shot myself in the chest with it."
Tango: "every time you claw yourself from the ashes you insist it will never happen again. every time you reach the breaking point, it happens a little bit faster."
Cleo: "It's about catharsis, not letting go. / Because a part of me wants to hold this, / A swelling hurt deeper than tides, / Hotter than stars. The kind of rage / A mother might raise against her own child."
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I dont share my poetry on here very often, partially because it tends to end up coming from a very personal part of me, but since this was actually a lot of fun maybe i'll start posting my poems more often here :]] i think what i found most interesting about this exercise was that as i scrolled my notes app and cherry-picked quotes for each character, it felt like the ones i chose naturally became part of a larger conversation-- as if the characters were speaking to me through my own words about their lowest points, about their ultimate views on the games filtered through the lens of a red life.
It felt enlightening; i dont often feel like im speaking to characters or being informed about their plots/preferences, etc. the way many other writers discuss in workshops or casually online, but by the end of this exercise i felt like i just... understood them, better than i had before. There's something inexplicable about reading your own words and consciously finding ways to apply them in a way that encapsulates them down to a character's core that just... truly highlights the specific qualities that resonate most with you. And i think stumbling upon that organically was a very vivid and incredible experience for me
Admittedly, i did struggle on Scott, Ren, and Etho a lot-- im not as familiar with them as characters, and for a while i couldn't quite pinpoint what exact themes they tend to carry with them throughout all their life seasons. But when i started to really look at everyone's quotes as a whole, i realized they felt like a story, like the response to a question-- as if i was being TOLD what they felt and how, and that that was how i needed to frame the rest of my selections. So Scott's ended up being about control, and the desperate hanging onto of it; Ren's is about the acceptance and bitterness of what he cannot change; Etho's is a quiet resignation rounded out with softer disbelief. The more i looked at these choices, the more they felt correct to me-- and while i still think i have a ways to go before i fully understand these characters, i feel like this has helped me a lot with that ultimate goal :]
Of all these poetry snippets, though, i think Scar, Skizz, and Joel's are my absolute favorites. Skizz's poem is actually the whole poem in its entirety (as is Cleo's, funnily enough)-- it's a short, very simple poem that is incredibly close to my heart for many reasons, but the main one being because it was written at one of my lowest points a few years back. Its about clawing for hope when there isnt any, and finding even the smallest of beautiful things to hold onto, and begging yourself to keep holding onto that at any cost. The pure, clean beauty of watching light refract through a vase of flowers, and knowing that sometimes, that's all there is to live for-- I felt like that really spoke to Skizz's life series character as a whole: finding the beauty in every tiny thing, no matter how small, and scrabbling for more time to appreciate it.
Scar's snippet comes from a much longer poem of mine about the difficulty of reconciling the idea of a future when you havent had to think of one before (incidentally, Etho's snippet comes from this poem as well). I think out of everyone, this quote encapsulates him the best; i like how it subtly references that inner well of vivacity he draws from that many other characters struggle to find, and how that in turn ties in with the lore that he never died a final death during Secret Life. And i love how it simultaneously manages to encompass the way he utilizes the social game in each season as well-- Scar's an incredibly intelligent social player, and i think the imagery of a gambler breathing their luck over the dice as they cast it, and as he casts himself at others for alliances and enemies, truly does fit him.
As for Joel, the full poem his quote comes from is one im particularly proud of, especially for its final lines. I think, quite honestly, i can let this poem stand for itself in its entirety:
They say transformation is letting the light in, But in my mind it's a violence. A coarseness, a fracturing, the bloody vowels between a scream And a howl. How do you transform without killing yourself? When I am a lion, my hands and feet Grow claws; my teeth sharpen. No longer do I spark— I ignite. Tamed by nothing, no one, I lose myself to the shattered chains; Yes, there is a loss. To transform is to leave behind a body And eat its still-breathing corpse.
I find myself referencing this poem a lot even in my daily life-- as longterm readers of mine already know, one of my favorite themes is that of replacing yourself and permanent transformation. This poem really is just about how changing, in any shape or form, alters you forever; how you can look back on yourself from even just a few months ago and feel like a completely different person despite remaining the same. Connecting it with Joel's character, and how he acts during his red lives in each season, was a natural and intuitive progression once i really sat and thought about it.
Alright thats enough yapping from me 😂😂😂 im not used to writing meta nor delving into my poetry on here, so this was a bit of an experimental post for me. If youve read up until this point, i both applaud your patience and really hope you enjoyed this window into my personal works and thoughts on them :]] cheers, and thanks to @/chipperchemical the op of the original post for inspiring me!!!❤️❤️❤️
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nightlyrequiem ¡ 2 days ago
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Hehe I just saw some of you post about reader cheating on Val, but what about Val cheating on reader?.
A thought came to my head about how reader came from shopping, excited to show Valeria all the new expensive clothes she bought ready to model for her. As she searched for her, only to find her in their room with someone else. I know reader heart shattered into pieces, but not only that I think adrenaline rush through her veins thinking, if she’s replaceable, all the things she knew about Valeria aka el sin nombre, is her life now in danger?. So she makes a run for it to avoid talking and also for her safety. Maybe at the end they make up their mistakes or something
-🦋🦂
Hello Hello :) I wanted to write Val cheating on Reader for months now. Perfect for angst and I love angst. Left the ending a little open ended so you can decide if they make up or not. Personally, I think Reader and Val part ways because cheaters don't deserve redemption
Tags/Warnings: WLW, Cheating, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Physical Hurt (Not Abuse), Attempts at Emotional Comfort
Loves Me Not
Valeria was busy today. Too busy to spend time with you so she gave you her card and sent you off to buy yourself things you don't need.
'Get yourself something pretty to show off for me.'
You went to all your favourite stores and splurged and tops, skirts, dresses, pants, bags. You took your time looking over all kinds of glittery, shiny accessories. Picking ones that you think will catch her attention the most.
You tried on the clothes and admired yourself in the changeroom mirror. then finally made the journey back home. When you got out of the car you paused, seeing Valeria's car in the driveway. You thought she'd be away for the day. That's what she told you. You smile, happy that you get to spend more time with her then you originally thought.
You quietly enter the house and sneak off to the ground floor bathroom. Changing into one of the short flashy dresses you bought. Pulling on the hem and looking at yourself. You pull out one of the new necklaces you bought and clasp it around your neck, admiring the way the small gems glitter above your cleavage. You imagine the face she'll make when she sees you, and the events it will lead to. The shimmery little dress won't be on you for very long.
You walk out of the bathroom, leaving your bags to be collected later and creep up the stairs. The door to your bedroom is half-closed. You break out into a grin but stop when you hear giggling. You frown, confused and apprehensive of the noise. You step forward and push open the door.
The sight before you fills you with pain and repulsion. The woman on top of Valeria swivels around at the noise of you entering, eyes widened with surprise. Valeria sits up swiftly, almost knocking the woman off the bed. The woman quickly gathers up the sheets to cover her bare chest from view.
"I thought you'd be gone for longer." Valeria says harshly.
"Who the hell is this?" You ask, staring at the woman with dismay and anger. Her hands are clenched around the sheets - your sheets, tightly. 
Valeria runs a hand through her hair, face pinched into a stressed expression.
"She's... why are you back so early?" She snaps, sounding angry at you for walking in on her. A spike of fear shoots through you. What if she thinks you'll rat on her to the feds in revenge for cheating? You stare at them. Feeling your world crashing down around you. Valeria gets off the bed and it sets you on edge. She looks angry. Valeria doesn't deserve to be angry but that's not stopping her. You've never felt afraid of her before but when she takes a step towards you, you turn and flee. Hearing her running behind you.
"Stop!" She calls out. "Stop running, we can talk about this."
The only thought you have is that she's going to kill you in a fit of rage. She'll kill you to stop you from talking. She'll kill you for trying to leave. You miss a step running down the stairs and trip. Your ankle gives and pain shoots up your calf. You end up sprawling at the bottom of the staircase, afraid and in tears.
"Christ!" Valeria exclaims, looking down at you from the top.
"Did you push her?" The woman asks.
"Get out." Valeria snaps.
"Is she okay? You didn't push-"
"Get the hell out!" 
You drag yourself away from the stairs, sweating from the pain. Hurried steps go past you and you watch the woman leave. Slamming the door behind her. Your ankle throbs with your heartbeat. Valeria walks down the stairs and crouches over you.
"What's wrong with you?" She growls. "Why the hell did you run like that? Are you a child?"
"Let me leave." You say. "Please let me leave."
Valeria sighs and kneels down. "We need to talk."
"No we don't." You say shakily, trying not to cry. You're not sure what hurts more, your ankle or your heart.
Valeria rubs a hand over her face.
"I'm sorry." She says tiredly.
You go limp. Too hurt and tired to try getting up. "Why did you do this?" You ask.
Valeria's eyes bore into you. "Because I needed something different." She murmurs. "You're so high energy and always wanting to be around me, I needed a break from you."
Each word is a shot right into your heart. 
Valeria gently grabs ahold of you from under your arms and helps you to your feet. Your lean on her while she walks you to the ground floor bathroom. You press close to her. Though it brings you about as much comfort as hugging a cactus. She gently kicks aside your forgotten shopping bags and walks you inside. Making you sit on the lid of the toilet.
She avoids your gaze as she trails her hands down your calf, carefully removing your heel. You hiss in pain and look down. Your ankle is swollen and red. Valeria frowns and stands.
"I'm going to go get some ice." She murmurs. Leaving you alone. You replay the image of that woman on top of Valeria, feeling sick. I needed a break from you. Were you really that bad? You thought the two of you were happy.  I needed a break from you. Your throat tightens and your eyes sting. You try to fight back the hurt, not wanting her to walk in on you crying but you can't help it.
Valeria comes back, a small clear bag filled with ice chips in her hands. Your head is lowered, shoulders twitching slightly as you silently cry. Lips pulled back into a devastated grimace. Valeria hovers awkwardly, torn between pretending not to notice and wanting to offer comfort. She settles for the former. Bending down she fishes around under the sink and pulls out bandages to wrap your ankle. She works silently. The only sound being an occasional sniff from you.
Your ankle is lightly throbbing, but it hurts less.
"Come on," Valeria says. "Come lay down." She helps you to your feet again. The walk up the stairs is slow and painful. She turns to lead you to your bedroom but you stop.
"I don't want to rest in there." You whisper. Staring at the floor. "Put me in the spare room."
"... Don't be like that." She says. Rubbing your shoulder.
"I don't want to lay in the same bed that some other girl has been in." You reply tartly. 
Valeria's mouth opens and closes. "Fine." She says. Leading you down the hall to the spare room.
She helps you into bed and sets a pillow down for you to elevate your foot. Then you're left alone with your thoughts. You don't eat dinner that night. Valeria leaves it to grow cold outside the door. You fall in and out of sleep. Sometime during the night you take off the dress and throw it somewhere. It gets uncomfortable after prolonged wear. You watch the days pass through the window. More and more of your belongings make it into the spare room until it feels more like your actual bedroom.
Valeria gives you space during this time. Or perhaps takes this space for herself. I needed a break from you. You didn't think a single sentence would cut so deep. How long had she been feeling this way? How long had she been seeing that woman? Is she still seeing that woman? All your questions without answers are driving you mad.
One night, Valeria gently knocks on your door. You long to call out to her, but you just can't. She enters anyway, the door slowly creaking open.
"I brought you dinner." She says quietly. Steamed vegetables and some kind of meat. The smell makes your stomach clench with hunger. The bed dips as Valeria sits down on the side. "... I'm sorry." She says.
"Okay." You reply.
Valeria shifts and sets down the plate. "I've realized how important you are to me, being apart like this." You scowl and burrow under the covers. It took her hurting you deeply to realize this. You didn't have to test out other women to know how you feel. "I don't want to lose you, I love you so much. What I did was a mistake and I will never make it again."
"... Do you think that's all it's going to take to make this better?" You murmur tiredly. You don't have the energy for this. It's on you for getting attached in the first place. You should know better than to believe anything will last forever.
Valeria pauses.
"No," she says. "I don't, but I won't give up on us. I'll right my wrongs, I'll fix this and more." She promises. She brushes her hand over your forehead. "I'll earn your trust and love back, mi vida."
You don't respond. You're not sure you'll ever trust her again. No matter how many apologies she gives you. But you don't think you can leave. Despite what she did your traitorous heart longs for her.
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maypiles ¡ 1 day ago
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VERY TOO SCARILY SPECIFIC MESSAGE WANTING TO COME THROUGH 🥀
❗Take what resonates and leave what does not. Please don't try to force the reading this is very too specific message❗
So, today was supposed to be a cute little "pick a pile" day, you know, something simple, but nope, Spirit decided otherwise. I woke up with this weirdly specific download that hit me like a truck, and now here we are. I swear, Spirit is out here writing soap operas, and I’m just the messenger. If this post finds you, it's for you—or someone you know. Maybe it’s a sign, a wake-up call, or that nudge you’ve been ignoring for way too long. Either way, buckle up because this one’s not just a message; it’s a plot twist. Let’s get into it.
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All right, buckle up, because Spirit is coming for your life today, and I’m just the messenger. First off, let me tell you, I don’t even listen to Billie Eilish, okay? except for that one TikTok trending line from "NDA": "You hit me so hard, I saw stars, you couldn’t save me, but you can’t let me go." That’s literally the anthem of this message. I woke up with that playing in my head, which means Spirit decided this needed to be channeled urgently. Whoever stumbles upon this post, it’s not just a coincidence. Spirit does not play around, and this message will either hit you right in the feels or make you think of someone who’s in this exact situation.
Let’s talk about what’s going down:
This reading is so tied to Pile 3 from my last post that it might as well be a sequel. If you picked Pile 3, or even if you didn’t but felt drawn here—hello, welcome, Spirit has entered the chat.
What Spirit is screaming at you about:
There’s a divine feminine in the spotlight here—a true Empress, possibly a Taurus (big Earth energy, though she’s got fire placements, don’t @ me). This is a woman who’s spiritual AF, the kind who probably keeps lunar moth symbolism somewhere in her Pinterest boards. Spirit is showing me snow, transformation, and the sun breaking through—a metaphorical rebirth.
This Empress is in a marriage or committed relationship with a fire sign masculine, and Sagittarius is loud here. But let me just say it: this connection is dead. D-E-A-D. It’s like a decaying fruit you keep trying to salvage but deep down, you know it’s only attracting flies. Sis, you’re not satisfied, and you’ve been suspecting him of cheating—maybe you’ve even gone full-blown FBI mode looking for proof. And guess what? You might not find anything in his phone because this isn’t just about infidelity. This is divine orchestration. (Spirit says you're manifesting him to. ArE yUo??)
About him:
(I hear spirit calling him a bitch 🙂)
Your fire-sign masculine (showing up as the King of Wands reversed) isn’t cheating out of malice. It’s not about you. He’s being karmically redirected, facing his own lessons. Spirit says this isn’t your burden to carry anymore. Let him go, let him learn, because you are being called to step up into your Empress energy. This is your moment.
And, oh, honey, let’s talk about the real tea: there’s someone else in your energy—a true Emperor (big Virgo vibes, but there’s a hint of water there too). I’m not saying this is a "right now" situation. This feels like a "right person, wrong time" scenario. You’ve been lowkey denying your feelings, but Spirit is like, "Stop lying to yourself." Dreams? Pay attention to them. That spicy one you had? Yeah, it’s not random. That’s the new person energetically knocking on your door (or could be someone you already know).
The storm before the glow-up:
You’re being asked to walk away, even though it feels like a storm. The Tower is here, loud and proud, because this divorce (or separation) will feel like a loss—but it’s actually your victory. This is your transformation, your cocoon-breaking moment. Yes, it might take time—Spirit says several months to a year and a half—but the delay is working in your favor. Why? So you can fully heal, step into your power, and reunite with your true soulmate at the right time.
Details Spirit won’t let me skip:
Uranus energy: Sudden changes, rebellion, chaos. This might feel overwhelming, but it’s the catalyst you need. Also, Uranus could be strong aspected in your chart or it could be your dominant planet or in your seventh house even. OMG IS IT 7TH HOUSE AQUARIUS?
Age gap: You might be older than your new person (the Emperor), and school or mentorship could be significant.
Health issues: Some of you might be dealing with migraines, anxiety, or even a literal broken bone. Take care of yourself.
Ancestry: Someone here might have Syrian heritage, listening to Syrian songs, travelled to Syrian, or that’s significant in some way.
Spiritual practices: You’re already intuitive AF, but Spirit is asking you to trust that. Your High Priestess energy is peaking, babe.
The cards are screaming:
The Ace of Pentacles and Empress are your starting and ending points. Spirit is giving you the tools to build something solid, something aligned with your true self. But first, you have to let go of what’s not working.
Your fire sign masculine (again, King of Wands reversed) is showing up with the Nine of Swords, Tower, and Five of Cups—he’s bringing chaos, regret, and heartbreak. Meanwhile, your Virgo Emperor (King of Pentacles) is all about stability, love, and real partnership. This is a 10/10 upgrade, sis.
But here’s the thing: Spirit isn’t just handing you this glow-up. The Hanged Man, Hermit, and High Priestess are asking you to do the inner work. Shadow work. Letting go. Closing cycles. And don’t rush the process—this transformation is meant to take time.
The Judgment, World, and Fool cards are here to say: You’ve got this. Close the old chapter, embrace the new beginning, and trust that you’re being divinely guided.
Spirit’s final mic drop:
Your outcome? Ten of Cups, Sun, Ace of Cups, and Emperor energy. You’re stepping into your divine alignment, creating the life you’ve always dreamed of. This isn’t just a glow-up—it’s a full-on cosmic upgrade.
So, sis, stop running in circles. Let go of the fear. The snow is melting, the sun is rising, and your wings are ready to spread. Transformation is here.
P.S. Don’t you dare ignore your dreams. Spirit is spilling the tea while you sleep.
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EDIT: THAT BITCH OF SPIRIT ISN'T DONE YET
All right, let me just start this edit by saying Spirit is relentless and will not let me breathe. I was ready to hit post on this whole saga, but nooo, here I am dragging my oracle deck into the chaos because Spirit said, "We’re not done yet. Pick it up."
And guess what? The oracle cards came in guns blazing, like, "Hey, you forgot to mention that the Divine Feminine is basically scripting her entire life right now." Oh, you wanted closure? Nah, here’s a manifested trilogy, complete with cheating, divorce, a second marriage, and that one soulmate who’s been lurking in the shadows of your dreams like a rom-com waiting to happen. You’re welcome.
Let me spell it out for the DF here because Spirit has no chill:
1. Make the effort: That great love you want? It’s on the way, but only if you stop stalling and take the steps you’ve been guided to take.
2. Divorce: It’s not just a breakup; it’s a rite of passage for your soul’s growth.
3. Very soon: Time to get clear. What do you want? (Hint: it’s not what you’re clinging to.)
4. Calling in your soulmate: Prayers, visualizations, affirmations? You’re doing it. That soulmate? They’re clocking in.
5. True love: Spoiler alert: It’s the real deal. But you’ve gotta clear the karmic clutter first.
And can we just talk about this plot twist for a second? The Divine Feminine is over here manifesting the entire package—the cheating, the heartbreak, the rebirth, the glow-up, and the reunion with her Emperor. She’s scripting this life like it’s her magnum opus. Even Spirit’s like, “She’s got the vision, so let’s give her the drama to match.” LET HER COOK.
But don’t get it twisted. This is not just chaos for chaos’s sake. Every step is part of the Divine Master Plan™. Karmic lessons? Check. Shadow work? Oh, absolutely. And that second marriage? Let’s just say it’s not just about love—it’s about stepping into your highest self and finally getting what you deserve.
So, DF, if this reading feels like it’s dragging you, just remember: Spirit’s not being mean. Spirit’s being specific. Now go journal, light some candles, and make peace with the fact that you’re the main character in this cosmic soap opera. Stay alive, and may your karmic lessons lead you straight to your Emperor.
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URGH 😩 let me just get this off my chest because I feel personally attacked by Spirit right now. Like, what do you mean "too specific"? Since when is being specific a crime? At this rate, my blog is going to turn into a full-on "channeled therapy hotline" because Spirit just keeps exposing people—and apparently me too, for reasons I do not appreciate. Let me tell you, I woke up with Billie Eilish in my head (again, Spirit, WHY), channeling your entire life story, and now it’s giving "TikTok psychic who accidentally goes viral for saying someone’s cat is named Buttons." Like, do you see how specific this is getting? Lunar moths, snow, Syrian ancestry, migraines? It’s like, Spirit, please chill before I need to call my own hotline for emotional support. At this point, I might as well start a TikTok because these pick-a-pile readings are out here turning into full-blown docuseries. Who even needs to pick a pile anymore when Spirit is like, "No, we’re just going to read you for filth directly and leave no room for ambiguity. DELIVER THE MESSAGE AND SHUT UP." And don’t get me started on the energy of this whole post. I feel like some of y’all are reading this and thinking, "Wow, this sounds like a private consultation." Like, yeah, it does, doesn’t it? Because Spirit doesn’t know how to keep things light. But fine, if this is what we’re doing now, let me just embrace my destiny as the internet’s most oddly specific tarot reader. My TikTok bio would probably say something like: "Tarot? Sure. But also your migraine, that spicy dream, and why your cat is staring at the wall—let’s unpack it." Anyway, to whoever needed this reading: I hope it hit. Because Spirit made sure it would. Now go handle your business, close those cycles, and let me go journal about why I suddenly feel exposed by my own cards. Stay alive. 💋
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theplumsoldier ¡ 15 hours ago
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confession o'clock
summary: you ask eddie why the two of you have never tried dating
pairing: eddie diaz x f!reader
word count: 3,2k
warnings: alcohol, vulgar language, friends to lovers dynamic 18+ MDNI; unprotected sex, oral post sex (m!receiving), cum-eating, dirty talk, riding cowboi cock, creampie.
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It was half past eight when you showed up at Eddie's doorstep in a flattering maroon silk dress with an equally tempting bottle of wine in your hand. His heart lurched, and he had to awkwardly scratch his stubble to hide his jaw dropping. You offered a kittenish smirk and held up the bottle, tilting your head in question.
He couldn't help but chuckle, opening the door wider, an invitation for you to unwind in the comforts of his home. “I take it the date didn't go well?”
“I don't know what you're talking about—I got a free bottle of wine,” you shrugged, wiggling your brows playfully as you stepped inside.
Eddie snickered and accepted it, closing the door behind you, and went into the kitchen as you slipped out of your heels with a grunt.
He poured two glasses and noticed the rim of lip gloss around the mouth of the flask, and an image of your lips around it drew itself in his mind. Eddie inhaled sharply, cursing himself for still thinking about you like this—at some point, he would have to get over you, right?
“So you uh—you wanna do disaster control or where’re we at?” he asked, bringing the glasses to where you sat on the couch.
You scooped your legs up under you and thanked him, running your hand through your hair and leaning your cheek against your palm. “God, no,” you snorted and took a sip of the wine, then leaned back contentedly. “I just wanna stay right here with my best friend, drink three hundred dollar wine, and watch whatever this is.”
Eddie chuckled and got settled on the other side of the couch, hanging his heavy arm over the backrest. You wanted to find comfort in it, have it around your shoulders, but you didn't want to make him uncomfortable—you just couldn't help the urge. Eddie always made you feel safe.
Although they were rare, you treasured these nights with Eddie. When you had told him about your upcoming date, he had been quick to inform you that Christopher was at a sleepover and that he was off duty so in case something went awry (as he had come to know was often the case when you cherry picked strangers from a dating app) you were welcome to come over. You had called him old-fashioned for steering clear of online dating, but it was hard to feel like he was missing out when all you seemed to get out of it was obnoxious guys wasting your time.
He was in a phase in his life where he had subconsciously decided dating wasn't for him. With all his time spent at the firehouse and with friends and family, there was little left to really do anything. He was convinced he had all he needed in his life to be happy. Not everything was in the way he would have liked, perhaps, but then again—not every wish could come true.
In the past year or so, Eddie had found himself thinking more and more about your relationship. You had somehow drilled your way so deep into his mind that he had become accustomed to you being a part of his everyday life—even if only in thought. He blamed Buck for the time he commented on how good you looked on New Year's Eve. Eddie watched you for too long and too longingly for his own answer to be nothing but a platonic agreement. Ever since then, not one day had gone by where you were not beautiful in his eyes.
So, a moment such as this one where you were spending your time with him, he really did feel like he had it all. This kind of love, if not romantic, was fulfilling enough for him to be content.
You spoke of everything and nothing, eyes on the screen but not really watching, just being in one another's company, and at some point the bottle was empty and your head was resting against Eddie's shoulder.
“Hey, Eddie?” you muttered, sleepy eyes glued to television. Eddie hummed in response, chest heaving slowly with deep breaths, fingers gently scratching at your scalp. You tilted your head to look up at him, a tired smile on your lips. “Thanks for making today a little less depressing.”
Something flashed across his face—worry, admiration—you couldn't tell before a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Always,” he chuckled and ruffled the crown of your head, turning his drowsy eyes back to the TV.
You giggled and pushed his hand away, though you didn't loosen your grip and draped it over your frame instead, intertwining your fingers, silently admiring him, waiting for a reaction to the close proximity. He didn't seem to notice the change, chest still heaving with deep, content breaths, the remains of his grin still wearing on his features.
Hen’s words from the other night echoed from somewhere in your subconscious. 
“So you and Eddie have never gotten… You know—”
She had wriggled her eyebrows at you. 
“Down and dirty.”
“Hey, Eddie?” you said again, still watching him. He chuckled again before he returned his soft gaze to you. His eyes sparkled, and he replied with another hum. “Why were we never a thing?”
This took him by surprise. You saw it in those deep brown orbs of his before he could shield it. He didn't make any movements that suggested discomfort, though. He spoke calmly, “where's this coming from?”
You shrugged against him, returning your eyes to the screen to avoid his intense gaze. “I don't know, or—I mean… I guess, I just had this conversation with Hen, and it got me thinking—how come we never gave it a shot? I mean, we've known each other for what? Five years? And we've always had fun. We clicked right from the start, and we spend a lot of time together. Like, I know—for me it feels like one of us has always been seeing someone, but at the times where we didn't… Has it never crossed your mind? Us, I mean,” you rambled though you didn't feel as awkward as you figured you must sound. Perhaps it was the mix of wine and exhaustion, but you couldn't find it in you to be particularly embarrassed with Eddie—he made you feel too safe for such a thing. 
Eddie's shoulder heaved with your head, his chest filling with admission he had long considered equal to doomsday of your friendship. “Of course I have.”
When he didn't say anything else, you decided to press the matter. You grinned as you looked up at him. “Well, come on, Eds—humour me. Why have we never tried?”
He studied your expression for a moment before something between a snort and a scoff escaped him. “I guess it's ‘cause we're friends—and I don't want to do anything to compromise our friendship.”
You huffed, a little taken aback and shifted beside him, propping your elbow on his shoulder and resting your head in your palm. “I don't think you could ever do anything to ruin our relationship. I love having you in my life too much to let that happen.”
Eddie couldn't help the smile spreading to his eyes. “Well, then, if you've given this some thought, why are you only telling me this now? I know you're not the type of woman to wait around for the first kiss.”
You knew he was teasing you now, but there was truth to it, and the idea of you and Eddie sharing a kiss basically glued your hungry eyes to his lips. You wanted to taste them, you had for a long time. “I guess I didn't want to step on your toes either. But we're both single, and I think we know each other well enough to decide whether we stand a chance before doing something stupid. Besides, we've been drinking a bit, and it's just the two of us, so I guess it's confession o'clock.”
He nodded, chuckling. Eddie saw how you were looking at him, like you were just one wild thought away from taking what you wanted—and God, you really wanted him, didn't you? Eddie's tongue darted out to wet his lips, his hips shifting slightly. “‘N you don't think this would be a mistake?”
While he didn't particularly think this was merely tipsy ramblings, he feared being the one to drag you down a rabbit hole.
Lucky him, you knew Eddie well enough to know how hard he could be on himself, how he was probably doubting himself right now.
You moved a bit and rested your hand against his cheek, palm warm from the skin of your own, eyes flickering between his pouty lips and his brown poppy eyes. Your thumb grazed his lower lip as you leaned closer. “I think if this is a mistake, it's one I wanna make.”
Eddie's jaw clenched in your hand, nostrils flaring with a sharp inhale, and he swallowed. Smirking down on you, brow cocked and lust in his eyes. He looked so handsome like this. “What's stopping you then? You want a date first?”
A sly smirk formed as you tilted your head, challenging him. “I'd rather take that kiss first.”
Mere inches from each other, breaths mixing, lips ghosting, Eddie's hand snaked around your lower half, squeezing your hip encouragingly. “Then take it.”
Heat rushed through your body as you did exactly that. Connecting your lips in the gentlest of ways, you melted against him, completely unaware of the tension your body had amassed. The weight lifted from your shoulders and everything in the room bar the two of you ceased to exist, and a moan vibrated from your lips.
Eddie felt the hairs on the nape of his neck rise as he held you closer, pulling you onto his lap and eagerly kissing you, feeling your weight ground him to the moment. There was a constriction in his chest that loosened when your parted lips gave way to his tongue.
Your tongues danced in a battle of power, suddenly wide awake at the taste of the other. You held onto his shoulders, shifting in his lap to properly straddle him, and you gasped at the contact, having forgotten you were only layered in a thin dress and panties.
A low moan rumbled in his chest, panting as he broke the kiss, looking down between your bodies. Eddie's hand slid down your ass, palming at the supple flesh while the other cradled the back of your neck, pulling you down so that your forehead rested against his. “Fucking hell, cariño.”
A breathy giggle escaped you at his reaction. You leaned forward, pressing your bleeding heart against his, bucking slightly forward, feeling the rough imprint of his hard cock.
Hissing, Eddie's face scrunched up as if in pain, brows furrowing while he held a moan back at the friction. Large hands settled on your hips, pressing you down harder. “You're gonna be the death of me.”
“I hope not,” you grinned, guiding his hands to your thighs, prompting him to explore your body further and he did so with great enthusiasm. He caught your lips again, greedily licking into your mouth as he massaged the flesh in his calloused hands. Moaning into his mouth you ground down on him, harder this time, loving the way your best friend's cock felt between your legs. You whimpered, “f-fuck, Eddie.”
“Keep moanin’ my name, mi amor,” he encouraged breathlessly, cursing when he finally let his fingers feel the damp lace material covering your sex. “Oh—you're fucking soaked, baby. All this for me?”
“Yes, yes, Eds—” you cried, finding purchase on his shoulders as you writhed desperately in his embrace. “Please! It-it's all for you, only for you.”
He slipped his thumb under the fabric and collected your juice before bringing it to your mouth. Eddie licked the sticky mix from your lips and groaned against you.
Whimpering, you reached between your bodies, frantically trying to undo his belt. His head fell back with a groan, his cock itching for freedom. He cursed, endearingly watching your facial expression as you finally managed to pull him free, memorizing just how beautifully your face twitched as you mumbled, “you're so big.”
“You can take it,” he encouraged.
You traced your thumb over the leaking slit, glossing it around the angry head, the soft touch making him whimper as he nibbled on your neck. It felt absolutely maddening, having a man such as Eddie Diaz under you, hips involuntarily bucking upward in an attempt to chase whatever relief your hand could offer. You enjoyed having that kind of power over him. Chuckling, you pulled his head back from where it was nuzzled in the crook of your neck and ghosted your lips over the shell of his ear. “Easy, cowboy.”
Moving your panties to the side, you dragged your fingers through your wet folds before taking him in your hand. You peppered kisses along his jawline, stroking him slowly but firmly. The noise from the TV seemed to die out as you pumped his thick shaft with your slick, grinding against him, enjoying the ragged breaths he emitted.
You positioned him at your wet entrance, dragging the angry head through your folds, shuddering.
Eddie's rough hand grabbed you by the jaw, flexed fingers digging into your skin, pulling you close to his face. “No more teasing, princess,” he ordered hoarsely.
His command made you want to challenge him, but you couldn't hold back any longer. With a shaky breath, you positioned yourself and slowly slid down his length. There was a sharp pain but you expected as much. Still, you winced at the piercing sensation and found comfort in swallowing his ragged moan, distracting yourself from the sting as you took him to the hilt.
“Fuck,” Eddie croaked, his hands wrapping around your thighs, pushing deeper, forcing himself further into your sex than you thought possible. He helped turn the pain into pleasure by kissing you softly, tongue tasting yours as he rocked you back and forth in his lap. You gasped into his mouth, face twisting as your walls adjusted to him. “You feel so good around me, amor.”
You steadied yourself against his taut chest as you found your own rhythm. Enticed by your chest moving right in front of him, he freed a breast, leaving open-mouthed kisses as he massaged the skin with one hand, palming your ass with the other.
Initially, you had had no doubt being full of Eddie would feel good, but you hadn't been prepared to feel this much. His touch gave you warmth and kisses comfort, but the way he held you provided you with a sense of safety you never wanted to be rid of.
You settled into a comfortable rhythm, feeling confident riding his heavy cock with the sweet sounds he emitted. You took his hand from your ass and moved it to your belly, pressing into your flesh and moaning obscenely at the applied pressure. “Ho-holy shit, Eddie! You feel that? Hnng—you… so deep.”
Eddie let go of your nipple, but not before teasing the perked nub with his teeth, drawing a pitched whine from you. You watched you intensely through hazy eyes and furrowed brows, feeling his cock twitch as his hand pressed harder into your belly. “Oh—yer taking me so well, doll. Doin’ so good for me. Ridin’ me like you were meant to.”
If your face wasn't flustered before, it surely was now. Your best friend's praise went straight to your cunt, clenching Eddie deliciously as if trying to milk him.
Eddie pulled you down and kissed you messily, hungry for whatever you might give him, as long as it was you. His hand moved from his bulge prodding you from inside and settled between your legs, rubbing tight circles on your throbbing clit.
“Ff-fuck! Eds—” you gasped. The sudden determined attention to your neglected nub made you thwart forward, movements faltering as your high got higher. 
His hips rutted in response, fucking into you when your legs shook around him. “That's it, baby. Just let go—let it all go.”
Wanton sounds of sweaty skin slapping, panting, moaning, loving—you lost yourself in Eddie's warmth, falling apart in his lap as he fucked you through your orgasm.
Eddie's thrusts grew more urgent, continuing his ministrations to your swollen clit while chasing his own release.
You cried out, feeling your body spasm, convulsing around him as he didn't let up. Your polished nails dug into his shoulders, clawing marks forming under the hazy gaze of your glossy eyes. “E—hnng! Eddie,” you choked, teeth biting his skin. “I… I can't—”
Eddie ceased his torture only to hold your hips firmly as he practically fucked up into your slippery cunt like a ragdoll. Gasping, you felt the increased pace bringing on another orgasm as you held onto him for dear life, breathing each other's air. “Jus’ a little more, baby—” he grunted, jaw fixed in place as he watched you fall apart on him. “You're doing so good for me, amor. So, so good.”
“Plea-please, Eds,” you cried pathetically with just enough energy left to hold yourself slightly above him so that he could continue his assault on you. “Co-come in me, Eddie.”
Your desperate pleas set something off in him, his vivid imagination making him snap his hips roughly. Drawn into a scenario where you stood round and swollen with his seed—it made him burst.
Spurts of creamy ropes of cum painted your velvet walls as he tried to grind deeper into you, arms folding around the small of your waist, holding you down on him, his face hidden in your chest.
You noticed how the distant audio from the TV seemed to seep back to you, blending over your ragged pants and heavy breathing. Looking down between you, you saw a wet stain on your silky dress and you had no doubt Eddie's pants would be off way worse.
Eddie slowly lifted his head from your chest, those brown doe-eyes no longer filled with the same raw hunger but a weary mix of satisfaction and affection. Another surge of heat flushed your cheeks, and you pressed your lips against his, as gently as the first time around. He sighed softly at the contact, something so tender about the way your lips asked for permission while your tits were pressed against him and his cock still inside you.
After a moment you shifted and reluctantly got off him, not getting far when he didn't let go of your hand. “You-you're leaving?”
You chuckled, squeezing his hand back. “Was actually just going to clean myself up,” you said and he nodded, but didn't let go. He snickered and got down on your knees, taking his half-hard cock in your hand, tilting it upward and licked him clean. Eddie shuddered, undoubtedly sensitive to the touch of your tongue lapping at your juices. You moaned around him, loving the taste; loving the feeling of his cum leaking down your thighs.
Eddie groaned your name and you let his head go with a pop. “You'll stay the night, won't you?”
You hadn't exactly thought about leaving, but the request still made your heart flutter. “I will do anything you want me to, Eds.”
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scary-grace ¡ 10 hours ago
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Off-Script (Act 3) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic
Tomura's been Dabi's stunt double for almost a decade, and he's not easily impressed, but when he squares up with you for a fight scene, he finds himself caught off-guard in more ways than one. As the shoot progresses and sparks fly between the two of you, Tomura has to decide if you're worth the risk -- or if the best sparring partner he's ever had is all you'll ever be. (cross-posted to Ao3)
Act 1 Act 2
Act 3
The party’s in full swing, and even though you’ve been here for an hour at most, Tomura’s already ready to kill Spinner for forcing him to invite you. You’re the only actor at the party. Everyone keeps asking you why you aren’t at the other party, and Tomura’s getting really sick of listening to you explain that you aren’t important enough to go to that one. Once it’s been established that you’re a nobody like the rest of them, one of two things happens. If the person you’re talking to is a woman, they ask you about the fight scene you filmed with Tomura. If you’re talking to a guy, he asks you to dance – and you say yes.
Tomura thought you’d dance with him, since he’s the one who invited you. He made the mistake of saying that to Magne, who switched out the beer in his hand for the double Malibu shot she was holding and told him that unless he’d asked you to go to the party with him specifically, he hadn’t asked you out. Then Twice came by, stole Tomura’s Malibu shot and replaced it with a Long Island Iced Tea, and informed him that just because you play a mind reader in a movie doesn’t mean you can do it in real life.
Tomura threw down half the Long Island in one swallow and almost gagged. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“She’s not gonna know you want to dance with her unless you ask her to dance,” Twice said. Magne nodded sagely. “So ask her to dance. Or – do that, I guess! That works too!”
Tomura had just finished off the rest of the Long Island. Twice patted him on the pack and he almost threw up. “Go get ‘em, Shigaraki! Or go home!”
Tomura thought about going home. Then he decided that he wanted to be drunker first, so he went back to the makeshift bar for something a little less instantly neurotoxic. But that hit pretty fast, too, and it hit hard enough that Tomura decided to sit down rather than try to walk to the shuttle stop and pass out on the way. So that’s what he’s been doing instead of dancing or talking or even drinking more. Sitting on a rock and watching the only actor at the party make herself at home.
Spinner sits down on the rock next to Tomura. Tomura tries to shove him off. “No. Go away.”
Spinner gets comfortable. “Heard anything from Dabi yet?”
Tomura fumbles his phone out of his pocket to check. “Nothing. He’s going to text you, not me. You’re the nice one.”
“Not hard to be, when you’re the one saying shit like I don’t care about this,” Spinner says. Tomura rolls his eyes and gets dizzy. “Look, it was – not great – when you were just being a dick to her. Now you’re being a dick to everybody.”
“It’s your fault for making me invite her.”
“Nope,” Spinner says. “You’ve been in a shitty mood about this since you guys filmed that scene. We all think you should just –”
“Ladies, and those of you who are not ladies, eyes up front!”  Yamada’s in Present Mic mode, which gives Tomura a headache on his best day. “It’s been brought to my attention that everyone is now sufficiently wasted enough for us to begin – drumroll! – the karaoke contest! Who’s up first!”
Nobody wants to be up first, like usual. The first round of the karaoke contest is usually just people bullying their friends onto the stage. Tomura turns to glare at Spinner. “If you even think about it –”
“I wouldn’t do that to you!” Spinner actually looks insulted. “We’re best friends, not mortal enemies!”
“Since you all are being shy, I’m going to pick a volunteer,” Present Mic announces. It’s not volunteering if somebody makes you do it. “And I’m picking somebody who has the pipes for this for sure! Give it up for Jiro Kyoka, who’s going to give us her best Dolly Parton impression on Jolene!”
Jiro smacks Present Mic on her way up to the makeshift stage, and he’s apologizing right up until the music starts. Tomura doesn’t know why, and neither does Spinner, but Jiro’s a good singer even when she’s had a few. The next person who goes up is Mirio, who’s tone-deaf on zero drinks but has had enough to volunteer himself. Attention grabs aren’t really Tomura’s thing – he’d prefer to go unnoticed most of the time – but he knows why the crew gets so into it. They spend all day doing ridiculous amounts of work, only for the actors to get all the credit if the movie does well. If they want to clown around, he’s not going to blame them.
“Room for one more?”
Tomura jumps and so does Spinner. It’s you, holding a water bottle and looking sort of tired. “Go for it,” Spinner says, shoving Tomura to the side and scooting away himself. “Right there.”
You sit down next to Tomura. Tomura hasn’t said a word to you since you got here. He looks around for something to say and comes up with something stupid. “You don’t want to show everybody up at karaoke?”
“If Yamada calls on me I’ll go up,” you say. “If he doesn’t, I’d just look like an asshole for grabbing the spotlight.”
“Isn’t that all actors do? Grab the spotlight?”
“Do you actually want it?” you ask Tomura. Tomura blinks. “You and the other stunt guys are closer to the spotlight than anybody else here. Why stay out of it?”
“That’s the stupidest question anyone’s ever asked me.” Tomura thinks that’s probably an overstatement, but he’s also on the not-fun side of drunk, so he’s giving himself a pass. “Why do you think?”
“So you’re telling me that if I waved a magic wand and changed your face to whatever you think it’s supposed to look like, you’d suddenly want to be famous?”
Tomura should have been paying less attention to who you were dancing with and more to what you were drinking, because while he’s pretty trashed, you’re sober. He’s miscalculated, big-time. “It’s not a trick question,” you say. “I just want to know why you pick on people for chasing something that you don’t even want.”
“Because it’s a waste of time for most of you,” Tomura says. Spinner protests, but Tomura ignores him. You came over here. You started it. “For every big star there’s a thousand people paying union dues who will be extras for their entire careers. How long do you plan on hanging out waiting for a big break that’s not going to happen? Find something else to do that’s – not that – and stop running around getting all starry-eyed. It’s pathetic. Sue me for being annoyed.”
Silence falls. “I’m getting another drink,” Spinner says. “Want anything, Psylocke?”
You shake your head. “I want one,” Tomura says, but Spinner ignores him. Like it’s his fault, somehow, when inviting you was Spinner’s idea in the first place. You haven’t said anything yet. Tomura replays what he just said to you, and guilt strikes him like a sandbag to the back of the head. “Uh –”
“Did you ever think it’s because we love it?”
“Huh?”
“If I was doing this to be famous, I’d have quit a long time ago,” you say. You pass your water bottle to Tomura and lean back on your hands, head tipped to look up at the sky. “Most of us aren’t stupid, or naïve. We know what our odds are like. Making it on the acting side – theatre, movies, TV, whatever – takes getting lucky. Or it takes knowing somebody who knows somebody who owes your mom a favor.”
That’s how Dabi got into it. His dad’s rich, his dad owns a production company, and his dad got him a bit part in some spy movie when he was thirteen that launched his entire career. Dabi’s career is Tomura’s career, so Tomura doesn’t bitch about it. Besides, Dabi’s good at it. But lots of people are good at it. Being good at it doesn’t mean shit, even when it should.
“I know it’s not going to happen,” you say. “Getting steady work is an achievement all on its own, and even that doesn’t pay the greatest. I could make more money doing almost anything else. But I really like what I do. The win for me is getting to do the thing I love every day.”
Tomura tries to wrap his head around that one. It doesn’t work. “Actors want to be famous. That’s why they’re actors.”
“There are other ways to get famous,” you point out. “Do the right kind of porn and you’ll get famous in a hurry.”
Tomura nearly chokes on thin air. “If I wanted money, I’d do something else. If I wanted fame, I’d do something else,” you say. “That leaves you two possible answers. Either I’m really stupid, or I really love what I’m doing. What do you think it is?”
“You’re not stupid,” Tomura says, still coughing. He twists the cap off the water bottle and sucks down a few swallows. “Except maybe for sitting here and putting up with my shit.”
“I’m still trying to figure out what I did to piss you off.” You take the water bottle – your water bottle, Tomura remembers too late – and take a few sips before handing it back. “Is it really just that I’m new?”
“No.” Tomura can’t even remember why. No, he can. “It wasn’t you at first. It was supposed to be Dabi’s fight and he made me do it instead, so I was pissed. And you wouldn’t take the stupid compliment, so I was pissed about that, too.”
“And right now?”
“Who said I’m pissed at you right now?”
“You, five minutes ago, when you were calling me and ninety percent of the actors in the world stupid and naïve,” you say. “What did I do this time?”
Even though Tomura’s starting to sober up, the alcohol smacks him one last time, and it’s a critical hit. “Danced with everybody but me.”
It’s quiet for a second. Then you get to your feet in a smooth, fluid motion that Tomura probably can’t even accomplish sober. “Okay. Now I need that drink.”
You don’t invite Tomura to come with you, but he follows you anyway as you make your way back towards the party. Partway there you stop and he walks into you. You twist around to face him. “You’re mad because I didn’t dance with you? You didn’t ask.”
“I asked you to the party with me, didn’t I?” The sooner Tomura finds something to lean against, the better. He might be sober enough to know he fucked up, but he’s still pretty drunk. Not drunk enough to forget what Magne told him. “If this is just because I didn’t use the exact words –”
“No, it’s because you’ve spent the last two weeks acting like you hate me,” you say. Tomura wants to say you’re exaggerating, but given that Toga and Spinner both called him out, he can’t really say that or anything else. “Now you want to dance? What am I supposed to do with that except get trashed?”
At least now you’re both on the same subject. “Dance.”
“Do you even dance?” You give Tomura a skeptical look. “I don’t know if you can keep up with me.”
Maybe this is how you felt when Tomura acted like you couldn’t swordfight. “I can dance. I was going to go easy on you –”
“Oh, shut up.” You grab Tomura’s hand and pull him towards the dance floor. Tomura barely has time to ditch the empty water bottle before the crowd closes ranks around the two of you, locking you in.
Tomura knows how to dance. More accurately, sober Tomura knows how not to dance, and avoiding that looks enough like knowing how to dance that he can get by. But that’s when he’s sober. When he’s drunk and there’s someone who clearly knows what they’re doing standing in front of him, he’s got absolutely nowhere to hide.
He studies you, trying to see if he can copy your moves, but you don’t really have distinct moves. What you’ve got is pinpoint control over every part of your body, which is what Tomura has, except instead of using it to make it look real when you have to fake getting shot, you’re using it to make dancing look like it’s what you were designed to do. He’d never know you dislocated a rib today if he hadn’t seen the bruise. All he can see is how your moves match the music, how confident you look. It’s hot. Tomura doesn’t think you’re trying to be hot, but he’s still not sober, and he’s paying way too much attention to everything your hips and your ass are doing. He’s supposed to be dancing, too. How is he supposed to look away from that?
Someone bumps into him, and he stumbles forward a few steps, right into your personal space. It doesn’t throw you off even slightly. “I was wondering when you were going to join in,” you say, barely audible over the music. Probably only audible because you’re pressed up against him and your mouth’s barely brushing his ear. “Is this you going easy on me?”
Tomura thinks he could be the best dancer on the planet and he still wouldn’t be able to compete with you. His hands come up of their own accord and settle on your waist, like the two of you are slow-dancing at a junior prom, completely out of sync with the music. You laugh, quiet and dark, but you wrap your arms around Tomura’s neck and rise on your toes to whisper in his ear again. “Pretend we’re fighting.”
You were just fighting. Weren’t you? It takes Tomura a second, but once he gets it, he gets it, along with a rush of adrenaline that’s absolutely insane. He pulls you in tight against him and you lean in, lining your body up with his centimeter by centimeter, limb by limb. One of your arms peels away from around his neck and traces down along the line of his shoulder, and Tomura raises his arm to match, ready to catch your hand by the time you reach his wrist.
Once he takes it, you spin out and away from him, like the two of you are ballroom dancing or some shit. But you come back closer than before, your back pressed to Tomura’s chest, leaning against him. Still holding his hand.
The handholding is fucking with Tomura’s head. He lets go and wraps both arms around your waist, and you twist in his grip to face him, a moment before tipping sideways on purpose. Tomura knew you were going to do it. He felt you telegraph it, the same as you did during the fight scene, and he’s ready to catch you. It looks like you’re ballroom dancing – again – and Tomura’s friends are probably losing their shit watching it, if they’re watching – but you trust Tomura to catch you, and he does.
He sees a smile cross your face before he pulls you back up, and you instantly tip the other way. He’s not as ready for that one, but it doesn’t matter as much, because you’re hooked one leg over his hip and caught yourself.
It’s like you want to break Tomura’s brain. Fuck it. If you’re fighting, he can fight back. He wraps one hand around your back to help you up, but he catches the crook of your knee with his other hand and pulls you tight against him. He feels you startle; then you lean into him again, not quite grinding on him but close enough that his cock doesn’t notice a difference. Or it wouldn’t, if Tomura hadn’t drunk so much earlier. He’s never been so thankful for whiskey dick in his life.
He doesn’t let go of your leg, and you don’t pull away. You wrap your arms around Tomura’s neck again and you tilt your head, studying him, your gaze flicking downwards, then back up. Tomura’s pretty sure you were looking at his mouth, and with your head tilted like that – do you want him to kiss you? Is that why you’re looking at him like that? If he’s reading this wrong, he’s going to fuck everything up, whether he kisses you or not. So he might as well get one kiss in. Tomura squares his shoulders beneath your hands and leans in.
“Hey!”
It’s possible that Tomura’s never been as pissed off at anybody as he is at Spinner right now. Spinner’s standing right there, looking sort of panicked, and you pull away from Tomura instantly, clearly embarrassed. “What?” Tomura shouts at Spinner. It’s lucky that the music’s loud. He can get away with shouting. “What the fuck is –”
Spinner holds up his phone, the screen brightness cranked to maximum. Dabi’s texted – both of them, only Tomura didn’t notice, because he was with you. get me the fuck out of here right now
Shit. Spinner turns and heads off the dance floor, and Tomura follows him. He grabs your hand on the way, so you won’t think he’s ditching you completely, and instead of pulling away, you come along. Once the three of you are clear of the dancers, Spinner turns to Tomura. “If he texted us, that means it’s bad,” he states. Tomura’s not going to argue. “I’m too drunk to drive.”
“So am I,” Tomura says. For a little while longer at least. “If we wait fifteen minutes or something –”
“He said right now,” Spinner says. “It’ll take fifteen minutes at least to get there. He fucked himself over in thirty seconds last time.”
Thirty seconds is generous. Dabi’s managed to get himself into cops-calling trouble in fifteen seconds or less before. Tomura didn’t want to be involved in Dabi’s sobriety, but he didn’t want to fuck him over, either, and this qualifies. That’s not even mentioning what’s going to happen to his career if Dabi drops out of this movie. “We blew it,” Spinner says, his face ashen. “He’s never going to forgive us –”
You tug lightly at Tomura’s hand. “I can drive.”
Tomura looks at you. So does Spinner. “I don’t know what’s going on here,” you say, “but I can tell it’s urgent. I don’t need to know what’s going on to be your designated driver.”
“You didn’t drink?” Spinner asks. You shake your head. “Great. Can you drive stick?”
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e-dubbc11 ¡ 2 days ago
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On My Way
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Some swear words, sexual reference(mostly PG-13), Billy’s violent side shows a little, fluffy ending.
Word Count: 1.8K-ish
Summary: Told from Billy’s POV. Billy has an assistant that’s a little too flirty and he already has someone very special to him. She threatens to ruin what he’s waited so long for.
A/N: I was perusing Tumblr the other day and found THIS post with the following dialogue prompt…”After everything you have done. How will you sleep at night?"
“Next to my wife.”
I want to give credit to @myladyship This prompt basically punched me in the face, I got really excited when I found it so thank you! And thank you Katherine @k-marzolf for the basis of this fic, I appreciate you! I really like the way it turned out so I hope you like it too 💙
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
It bothered your love at first; the way your assistant danced around the office in her tight little dresses and short skirts, it was painfully obvious she wanted you to notice her, to flirt back when she flirted with you, and she wanted you to forget all about…her.
But you had no idea how far your assistant, Isabel, would take it to get what she desired.
“THAT’S your assistant, Billy?!” Your love exclaimed as she handed you the cup of coffee she picked up for you on her way to work.
Your lips curled into a shy smile.
“Isabel’s not just MY assistant, baby. She’s all of ANVIL’S assistant but yeah she does do a lot of work for me.” You said.
“She gave me a dirty look when she let me in here, ya know.” She said, pressing her lips together in a straight line. “Has she dropped anything on the floor in front of you so she can bend over and pick it up?”
She was always making you laugh and you thought her jealousy was “cute” so you started to chuckle as you replied, “If she has, I didn’t notice. You’re the only one I wanna see bend over in front of me, sweet girl.”
You pulled her in close, tilted her chin up so she was looking into your eyes, and gave her a kiss so deep that you know she felt a tingle throughout her whole body, all the way down to her toes.
She had called you a “cocky little shit” and said you weren’t playing fair but you knew it was difficult for y/n to resist your charm.
“You’re such a cheater. You never play fair, Mr. Russo.” She purred into your ear and bit down on her lower lip to try and stop herself from smiling.
You loved her so much.
“I know I don’t play fair but I like giving you something to think about while you’re at work. Thank you for my coffee, beautiful. I love you.” You said with a warm smile.
She snaked her arms around the back of your neck, kissed you again and replied, “I love you too, handsome. Have a good day, Billy. I know you have a big job today so be extra careful.”
“Always. Now get outta here so I can slap you on the ass and watch you walk away.” You replied with a wink.
Looking over her shoulder, her cheeks flushed a bright red as she walked out of your office to head to work.
You couldn’t wait to see her later.
**********
The problem with crime bosses was there’s always another one in waiting if the current one falls and they were constantly making deals with shady politicians so it was just a vicious cycle...new boss, new deals.
Cut the head off of the snake and two more take its place.
And no matter how crooked those politicians were, they never got their hands dirty and if they did, they made sure they weren’t caught or they had someone else take the fall for it.
They had the distinct privilege of hiding behind their private security and leaving no paper trail. No matter how many mob bosses you took out, there was always another one to take their place but you always did the job you were hired to do…and you never missed.
But today, they had forced you to get your hands dirty. Whatever deals were made, had turned sour, and blood was spilled on the cold city streets tonight. Y/n would understand but you would have to call her and tell her you were going to be late.
Your assistant was privy to certain information, took notes during meetings, and even saw things she probably shouldn’t have but the NDA she signed when she took the job at ANVIL prevented her from talking about it…to anyone.
She was supposed to just be quiet and do her job. She understood that. But she thought you could be tempted, enticed into doing what she wanted, or blackmailed into cheating on the love of your life.
The sleeves of your crisp white dress shirt were rolled up to your elbows as you tried your best to remove the fresh bloodstains from your suit jacket. Your shirt had large spattering of blood across the front, it couldn’t be saved, but maybe the jacket could.
As you scrubbed the dried blood from your hands, you sensed someone was standing behind you, watching your every move, and waiting for the perfect moment to speak.
“This kind of thing happens more than I thought it would when I took the job, Mr. Russo.” She said in a sly silvery tone, leaning against the doorframe.
“It’s the nature of the beast…bound to happen from time to time. You’re here late.” You said as you turned around to face her while you dried your hands.
She was wearing a black pencil skirt and a black and white pinstripe dress shirt. You knew she had been trying to get your attention all day before you and your team left for the job but to no avail.
“I’ve seen and heard a lot of things that go on inside and outside of this office. I know how many people you’ve killed, Mr. Russo. Does your girlfriend know EVERYTHING about what you do for a living? Or does she need someone to tell her?” She asked, seductively rubbing the palm of her hand against her skirt.
An evil smile stretched across your lips as you quickly glanced up at the ceiling then back down to meet her gaze. You knew exactly what she was fishing for so you inched closer to her and angrily asked through clenched teeth, “What are you getting at, Isabel?”
She reached out and gently pulled your tie toward her, she let the fabric run through her long fingers and with a devilish grin, replied, “What I’m saying is…I want you Mr. Russo and if you fuck me nice and hard on your desk right there, I won’t have to tell her about all of the horrible things you do and have done.”
A low guttural growl escaped your lips as you hissed in her ear, “You think she doesn’t know? She knows all about what I do…what I have done and guess what, sweetheart? She loves me anyway and she is the ONLY one that has loved me when I didn’t think anyone ever could.”
Quickly, you grabbed and tightly squeezed her wrist, while her nervous breaths drifted against your skin, and you saw the angry defeated look on her face as she let go of your tie.
“What makes you think I can’t make you disappear too, just like all the others? Hmmm?” You hummed as a wide Cheshire cat smile stretched across your mouth. “Gut you like a fish and then dump your body like the piece of trash you are. They’d NEVER find you.”
She tried to pull her wrist free from your crushing grip but she wasn’t strong enough. You released her and calmly walked over to your desk so you could collect everything you needed for home.
The chilling words you uttered frightened her and you could sense the cold spike of fear radiating off of her body as you intensely watched her chest rise and fall with each shallow breath which is when you decided to remind her of one very important thing.
“Remember Isabel, that NDA you signed prevents you from telling ANYONE about what happens here. Also…you’re fired.” You said, glaring at her with your mouth tipped up in half a sly smile.
Storming off toward your office door, Isabel stopped, turned and asked sheepishly, “After everything you have done. How will you sleep at night?”
That was it.
That was the question you have waited your entire life to be able to answer with confidence.
“Next to my wife.” You replied with conviction and zero hesitation.
A look of surprise suddenly appeared on Isabel’s face. She obviously didn’t know. She never bothered to look at your wedding photo on the desk. A simple gold band dangled from a chain around your neck underneath your dress shirt, not visible to anyone because you didn’t want to wear it on your finger while you were out on a job. However, the tattoo band around your finger was always there and y/n had one to match.
Y/n, your wife, was everything you had ever wanted and needed. In your story, the boundaries between hero and villain were blurred but not to her. You were a hero in her eyes and weren’t cursed to go unloved forever.
Your curt bravado collided refreshingly with her soft strength to work through your pain and haunted memories. She helped to mend the parts of your life that had been fractured by betrayal and little by little, she will continue to heal the visible and the invisible wounds left by the people that were supposed to care for you the most.
Her smile and gentle touches relieved your everyday tension. She washes away all of your daily problems and they drift out to sea as she tenderly scratches your scalp and asks “How was your day, baby?”
No one had ever done that for you before so you weren’t going to let anyone try and take that away from you whether it’s through temptation or anything else.
“Get out and don’t come back. I’ll mail you your things.” You snapped.
She didn’t look back as she hurried out of your office.
**********
The room ceased of sound and movement as you quietly admired the photo on your desk. You smiled as you stared at y/n’s beautiful face, her body tucked perfectly under your arm like she was meant to be there, and her long fingers grazing your tie like Isabel had tried to do earlier.
You never wanted any woman touching your tie again unless it was being touched by your wife. She was the only woman that you would ever let murmur soft sounds to calm you when you had nightmares. She was the only one you opened up to, let see who you truly are, and you never wanted to do anything deliberately to fuck that up.
“Well hey there, handsome. You on your way home?” She said, answering on the first ring.
You paused briefly before answering her.
You thought about how it wasn’t that long ago, you didn’t think it was possible that anyone could love you, that you could allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to love someone else, or even smile just by hearing their voice.
And how you would do anything to protect that love, even if it means doing very bad things.
You were excited to see her and tell her all about what happened today.
“Yes, baby. I’m on my way.”
Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @idaoftheburningmind @rafaelakelley @snowkestrel @music-indie-tv @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @fictional-hooman @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @vaguekayla @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @aoi-targaryen @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @rachlovesactors @qu1etwolf @sweetserendipity65
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komotionlessqueenmm ¡ 3 days ago
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Embrace Me
(1-1)
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Short story # 26
Gif NOT mine.
Paring - Commander Mills X Plussize!Reader
Summary - Your simply trying to relax after a grueling day of hiking, across the tundra of an unknown planet. And Commander Mills is absolutely determined to relax with you, his copilot and long time crush.
Rating - SFW (It gets a bit spicy, but nothing occurs.)
Reading time (roughly) - 12 minutes
Year posted - 2025
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"Can we please rest for the night? I feel like I've got blisters on my blisters." (Y/n) whined at her Commander, who was walking a short distance ahead of her. He sighed heavily through his nose, glancing back at his copilot over his shoulder. "We should find shelter first, it's going to storm tonight." He argued. (Y/n) groaned in response, her feet were killing her, and her gear grew heavier and heavier with each step. "Why did we have to crash on such a miserable planet." She complained, as she adjusted the strap of her plasma rifle higher onto her shoulder. Mills chuckled softly at her words, silently agreeing with her assessment of this uncharted planet. "I would offer to carry you." Mills said as he glanced back, smirking at how quick (Y/n) perked up. "But you're awfully heavy." He teased playfully, laughing when he felt her throw a handful of berries at his back. "That's not nice." She huffed at him, feeling a tad bit insecure, despite knowing he was only joking. Mills turned to observe her expression, and before he could see the look of insecurity on her face, (Y/n) pulled up a mask of playful bitterness. Even going as far as to childishly stick her tongue out at him. Again he simply chuckled and turned back to continue leading the way.
Almost an hour later they finally found a suitable place for shelter, and in the nick of time. As soon as they'd sat their packs down within the cave, it was as if the heavens had simply opened up, and a downpour of rain fell from the darkening sky. "Finally." (Y/n) sighed as she plopped down onto the ground, carefully pulling her boots off with a hiss of discomfort. While Mills on the other hand began setting up a perimeter defense, or rather a security system. The rhythmic hum of the security devices was soothing in a way, knowing that as long as they remind humming this calm tone, then they were completely safe. "Here." Mills offered (Y/n) his canteen of fresh water. "Thanks." She excepted it gratefully, taking a generous sip before pushing it back towards him. "I'm okay, drink up, you need it." He assured her, and though she knew it wasn't, it felt like another jab at her weight. "Okay." She muttered softly, her eyes unable to hide her sadness, as she looked down at the canteen in her hand. "Hey are you okay?" Mills asked, instantly picking up on her sudden shift in mood. (Y/n) willed herself to perk up a bit, a false smile stretching across her face smoothly. "Yeah just tired is all." She lied through her teeth, and while Mills looked like he wanted to say something, he simply nodded his head, and turned his attention to rummaging through his pack.
(Y/n) took a few more generous sips of the water, and as she sealed the lid, Mills held his hand out to her. "You should eat something." He said as he opened his palm to her, inside his hand lay a chocolate bar, her personal favorite chocolate at that. A nagging voice in the back of her mind taunted her, echoing that he chose chocolate specifically because of her weight. "I'm not really all that hungry, just wanna rest is all." She lied again, ignoring the hungry twist in her gut. "We've been walking all day, you need to keep up your energy." Mills insisted, placing the chocolate into her and, and closing her fingers around it. "Sure." She muttered softly, wishing the ground would just open up beneath her, and swallow her whole. Mills smiled at her, pleased that he had been able to snag a few of her favorite chocolate bars, before they left the tattered ships kitchen behind. (Y/n) had peeled back the wrapper, and was taking tentative bites of her chocolate. Her eyes following Mills as he refilled the canteen with rain water, and then retrieved a snack for himself. A preserved granola, high in protein, low in fat... And sugar. She felt the urge to throw up, but swallowed the knot of bile building in her throat. Unable to take it anymore she shoved the rest of the chocolate bar into her pack, and lay back against the hard dirt covered ground. Her eyes swirled with insecurities and sadness, as she stared at the roof of the cave.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Mills asked suddenly, observing her with concerned eyes. He'd never seen her act like this, and while it wasn't everyday they crash landed on an uncharted planet, he worried that there was something else bothering her. "I'm perfectly fine." (Y/n) insisted as she closed her eyes. "You know..." He started as he sat aside the rest of his food. "It's okay to be scared right now." (Y/n) took a deep breath through her nose, and crossed her ankles. "I'm pretty shaken up myself." He admitted in a soft reassuring voice, watching as she simply laced her fingers together on top of her soft belly. Mills swallowed thickly as he observed her, wandering if she felt as soft and cozy as she looked. "I'm just tired okay." She insisted with a bit of a bite at the end. "Okay." Was all Mills could bring himself to say, and for a moment his attention was drawn outside, as a crack of thunder rumbled menacingly in the darkness. When his eyes cast back to (Y/n) he noticed how she shivered slightly when a gust of wind blew through the cave. He smiled faintly at the sight of her, noticing how peaceful she appeared to be in this moment. Without thinking Mills crossed the distance to kneel at her feet. She didn't seem to notice his proximity, or she simply chose to ignore it all together. However when he gently grasped her ankles, and uncrossed her legs she reacted. "What are you doing?" Was all she said, her eyes still closed.
"You're cold." Mills stated as a matter of fact, before pushing her legs up until her knees bent. As he slotted himself between her legs, and pressed himself as close to her as he could, she opened her eyes. "That doesn't answer my question, what the hell are you doing?" She asked and though her tone sounded annoyed, her eyes betrayed her and bared her curiosity to him. "Keeping you warm." Mills stated casually as he hooked (Y/n)'s legs to rest comfortably around his waist. Afterwards he took ahold of her wrists, and pulled her arms up to lay beside her head, his hands engulfing her own, and keeping her locked in place. "A blanket would have sufficed." (Y/n) uttered as their noses brushed from their close proximity. "I was cold too, and we only have the one blanket. You know after you lost yours yesterday." He teased her with a grin on his face. "You're so annoying sometimes, you know that?" (Y/n) huffed as she tried wiggling free, only to freeze with a squeak, when she felt just how much of him was pressed against her. Mills hummed at the feeling and nuzzled his face into her neck, inhaling her natural musk after sweating most of the day. (Y/n) wanted to wiggle away, feeling insecure about how she smelled. "You're so soft." Mills muttered against her ear, his plush lips brushing against her skin. (Y/n) wasn't sure what to say, and despite herself, she felt herself relaxing beneath him.
"I've always wanted to be this close to you." He admitted in a soft whisper, his words making (Y/n)'s heart flutter. "Close? Mills you're more than just close. You're invading, suffocating, practically swallowing me." (Y/n) said as she made a mental note of how much his body was caging her entire body against the ground, how easily he covered her as if she was just a small thing. Mills pulled back a little, just enough to look at her face. "I can move." He said as he shifted to get off of her, however before he could move far, (Y/n) locked her legs around his hips, keeping him in place. "Don't you dare." She huffed at him in warning. With a smile he relaxed, and nuzzled his face into her neck again. "There is something you can do for me Commander." Mills shuttered at the use of his title. "Anything." He promised. "Let me feel all of you, crush me under your weight. Please." (Y/n) said in a breathless tone, finding herself desperate to feel him everywhere. Mills huffed against her neck finding desire flowing through his body, at the thought of truly laying on her. And without needing to be told twice he relaxed further, and little by little he dropped his full weight onto her. (Y/n)'s breathing became a bit shallow at the new weight on her ribs, but the moan that passed her lips was divine music to his ears. "Holy fuck that feels amazing." She breathed out, her fingers flexing and unflexing around his much larger ones.
"Keep making sounds like that, and we aren't going to get much rest." Mills murmured against her skin, moving so the bridge of his nose ran along the length of her jaw. "Fuck resting." (Y/n) huffed as she rocked her hips up, and moaning at the feeling of the curve of his cock nestled firmly against her. "You're going to be the death of me." Mills uttered as he pushed his groin against her, a groan bubbling in his throat when he felt just how much warmer she was there. (Y/n)'s breathing had become a bit more shallow, and sensing her body couldn't handle the extra weight, Mills pulled up just enough to ease the pressure off of her. (Y/n) grunted in annoyance however, and pushed her chest up to meet his. "Lay against me." She begged. "I don't want to hurt you." Mills argued before planting a feather light kiss against her forehead. "I don't care, I want you to crush me." She admitted before pushing forward to kiss him. Mills melted into the kiss, and slowly eased his weight onto her once more, greedily swallowing the moan that she gave to him. As the kiss deepened Mills began to slowly rock against (Y/n)'s clothed heat, offering them both some relief, and yet making them both crave more. "I want you to ride me." He admitted then they parted for air. "I thought I was too heavy." (Y/n) said, with a twinge of sadness in her voice. Understanding now the mistake he'd made earlier, Mills finally realized why she had been acting odd.
"Bullshit." He argued, and before she could say anything else. He hoisted them both up off of the ground, holding (Y/n) up by the fat of her thighs as if she weighed nothing at all. She had gasped in surprise and the sudden movement, and squeezed herself closer to him, afraid he would drop her. "You're so fucking perfect." Mills murmured as he rest his forehead against hers, allowing her body to lower just enough to keep his cock snug against her clothed sex. "Oh my god." (Y/n) panted almost breathlessly, as fear and desire coursed through her veins. Without thought she grinded down against him, her arms tightening around his shoulders, and her eyes squeezed shut. "So beautiful." Mills breathed out before kissing her once more, teeth and tongue clashing in a desperate symphony of love and desire. His large hands squeezed at her plush thighs, making him groan at how soft and squishy she felt. "I love you, fuck I love you." Mills declared against her lips, as he continued to grind against her. "Please let me show you how much I love you." He panted heavily, her moan going right to his core. "Please please please please." He rambled over and over, desperately wanting to make her feel good, and show her just how much he loves her. "Y-yes." (Y/n) nodded her head vigorously in agreement. "S-show me how m-much you love me Commander." She stammered over her words, her entire body buzzing with desire. "Thank you thank you thank you." Mills babbled as he began pulling at her clothes, desperate to see all of her body, and to finally get to worship every inch of her skin, and her very soul.
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God I loved this movie... I mean sure it had some plot holes, but I could care less. The amount of grunting and heavy breathing we get to hear Adam make is divine... When I first watched this movie, I was wearing headphones, and oh my god he was killing me with those sounds. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed this one.
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obeymeshallwedateaddict ¡ 18 hours ago
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Hello everyone!! This is the first lesson of the long awaited unofficial season 4 of Obey me Nightbringer written by yours truly <3
I will post lessons every 10 days.
I hope you enjoy it (it came out a little long but I hope it's not a problem)
Please make sure this finds other obey me lovers and people who don't want the series to end.
You can find more of my work here: Masterlist
@arie2faced wanted to be tagged so there you go!
Lesson 61: “Echoes of Change”
Preparations for the Grand Gala
The story begins with you and the brothers preparing for a grand event in the Devildom—the Infernal Gala, a highly anticipated celebration hosted by Diavolo to showcase unity and strength among the three realms. The brothers are busy with their individual tasks, and you help them throughout the day, making sure none of them are slacking off and checking the quality of their work.
Morning with Mammon
You find Mammon frantically trying to pick an outfit in his room, clothes scattered everywhere. He groans as he holds up a jacket, glaring at it like it personally offended him.
Mammon: “This stupid thing doesn’t fit right! What if I don’t look good enough? Diavolo’ll never let me hear the end of it!”
You: “You’re overthinking it, Mammon. You look great in anything.”
You pick up a sleek black jacket with gold trim from the pile and hold it up to him.
You: “Here, try this one. It suits you.”
Mammon grumbles but puts it on. When he turns to the mirror, his expression softens.
Mammon: “Huh. Guess it ain’t too bad… But y’know, it’s only ‘cause you picked it. You’ve got good taste.”
He pauses, scratching the back of his neck as he glances at you.
Mammon: “I dunno what I’d do without ya. Don’t tell the others, but… you’re my good luck charm, so stick close, alright?”
Afternoon with Leviathan
Levi is in his room, staring nervously at a stack of invitation cards. You peek in and see him pacing.
You: “Levi, what’s wrong?”
Leviathan: “It’s the Gala! There’s gonna be so many people there. What if I mess up? What if someone tries to talk to me and I freeze up?!”
You gently take his hands, grounding him.
You: “You’ll do great, Levi. And I’ll be there if you need me. We’re a team, remember?”
Levi calms down a little, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks.
Leviathan: “Y-Yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean, with you around, I don’t have to worry as much. You’re like my Player Two in this crazy multiplayer game called life.”
He hesitates, then smiles shyly.
Leviathan: “Thanks. I mean it. You’re, like… my favorite rare find.”
Library with Satan
Satan is in the library, scanning a shelf filled with ancient tomes. He looks up when you enter, a small smile playing on his lips.
Satan: “Perfect timing. I was looking for this.”
He hands you a book bound in emerald green, the title in golden script: "The Legends of the Infernal Gala."
Satan: “I thought you might like to know more about the Gala’s history. It’s fascinating, really—did you know it started as a peace treaty celebration?”
You sit together, flipping through the pages. At one point, your fingers brush, and Satan pauses.
Satan: “You always surprise me. You’re curious, thoughtful, and unafraid to stand by us—even when things get complicated.”
He leans closer, his voice softer.
Satan: “I hope you know how much that means to me."
Dressing Room with Asmodeus
Asmo is in his room, surrounded by a dizzying array of outfits. He twirls in front of the mirror, striking a pose.
Asmodeus: “Tell me, which one screams ‘absolutely irresistible’? This one, or…”
He switches to another outfit, beaming at you.
You: “They’re both amazing, Asmo. You always look stunning.”
Asmodeus: (grinning) “Oh, you always know just what to say. But you know what? I think I’ll wear something that complements you. After all, we’ll be the center of attention together.”
He steps closer, brushing a strand of hair from your face.
Asmodeus: “You have this way of making me feel… special. Like I don’t need to try so hard, because I’m enough just as I am. Thank you for that."
Kitchen with Beelzebub
Beel is in the kitchen, preparing snacks for the event. You help him arrange platters of food, the smell of freshly baked bread filling the air.
Beelzebub: “Thanks for helping. I usually just eat everything, but it feels nice to make something for others.”
As you finish, Beel offers you a piece of chocolate from the tray, his expression soft.
Beelzebub: “You’re always looking out for us. It makes me want to do the same for you.”
He smiles, his usual straightforward honesty shining through.
Beelzebub: “You’re like family to me… but also more than that. I’m glad you’re here.”
Attic with Belphegor
Belphie is lying on a pile of blankets in the attic, staring at the ceiling. You join him, and he shifts to make room.
Belphegor: “The Gala’s gonna be exhausting. Too many people, too much noise. But at least you’ll be there.”
He closes his eyes, his voice soft.
Belphegor: “You’re the only one who makes all this bearable, you know. Stay with me a while. Just you and me, away from everything else.”
You rest beside him, and for a moment, the world feels quiet.
Study with Lucifer
Lucifer is in his study, reviewing event schedules and security measures. He looks up as you enter, his expression softening.
Lucifer: “Ah, I was just going over the final details. It’s a relief to see you—you have a calming effect, even on someone like me.”
You share a quiet moment, the crackling of the fireplace filling the silence. Lucifer pours you a glass of Demonus, his movements elegant.
Lucifer: “The Infernal Gala represents unity, strength, and peace. But for me… it’s also a reminder of how far we’ve come.”
He gazes at you, his eyes filled with warmth.
Lucifer: “You’ve been a part of that journey. More than you realize.”
The calm shatteres
The next morning, you are in the gardens of the House of Lamentation, enjoying a rare moment of peace. The sky is a deep, rich purple, with faint stars twinkling above. Beelzebub joins you, carrying a tray of snacks.
Beelzebub: “You’ve been quiet today. Something on your mind?”
You: (smiling softly) “Not really. Just thinking about how calm everything feels right now. It’s… nice.”
Beelzebub: (sitting beside you) “Yeah. Feels like it’s been a while since things were this peaceful. Lucifer hasn’t yelled at anyone today, and Mammon hasn’t set anything on fire… yet.”
You both share a laugh, but before the moment can last, a faint tremor shakes the ground. Beel jumps to his feet.
Beelzebub: “What was that?”
A ripple of energy passes through the garden, and several flowers wilt instantly. The air feels charged, heavy. You feel a faint pulse from your pact mark, though you don’t fully understand it yet.
You and Beel rush inside the House of Lamentation, where chaos has already begun. Furniture is floating, magical items are malfunctioning, and the brothers are in disarray.
Mammon: (running around) “Somebody fix this! My wallet turned into a bat and flew off! That’s my life savings in there!”
Leviathan: (clutching his D.D.D.) “Do you know how many hours of gameplay I just lost?! This is worse than the Great Reset of Akuzon Prime!”
Lucifer: (trying to remain composed) “Everyone, calm down. Panicking will accomplish nothing.”
Belphegor: (yawning) “Wake me when this is over. Or don’t. I’m fine either way.”
You notice your pact mark faintly glowing whenever the chaos intensifies. Asmodeus steps in, looking alarmed.
Asmodeus: “Is it just me, or does the energy in the house feel… weird? It’s like something’s out of sync.”
Before anyone can respond, the chandelier shatters with a loud crash. Lucifer’s patience snaps.
Lucifer: “Enough! Everyone, to the Demon Lord’s Castle—now. Diavolo needs to hear about this immediately.”
Emergency Meeting with Diavolo
The group arrives at the Demon Lord’s Castle. Diavolo greets you all with a worried expression, his usual jovial demeanor replaced by a more serious air. Barbatos stands quietly by his side, his gaze sharp and observant.
Diavolo: “Ah, you’ve arrived. I trust you’ve noticed the disturbances, then?”
Lucifer: “Noticed is an understatement. The House of Lamentation is in complete disarray. What’s causing this?”
Diavolo’s expression tightens, and he motions for you all to take a seat.
Diavolo: “It’s more than just your house, Lucifer. The magical ley lines that run through the Devildom are experiencing unusual fluctuations. Spells are failing, spells are overloading… and the environment itself is becoming unstable.”
Diavolo remains silent for a short while before speaking again.
Diavolo: "Remember when a few months ago the Devildom moon begun moving closer to us? And how MC stopped it with the help of (name of the brother you chose in lesson 60)? I think it might be somehow related to all this.
Barbatos: (nodding gravely) “We’ve been monitoring the situation for the past few weeks, but the source remains elusive. The ley lines should remain stable, but we are seeing powerful surges in energy that we cannot explain.”
Simeon: (calmly interjecting) “It’s a troubling situation, indeed. I’ve been sensing something off as well, but I can’t make sense of it.”
Solomon: (looking up from his scrolls) “The balance between the realms is delicate. It’s entirely possible this disturbance has something to do with the convergence of magical energies—perhaps even beyond our realm’s control.”
Luke: (clutching his little angel staff nervously) “So... we’re all in danger?”
Mephistopheles: (snickering from the corner) “Well, that depends on what you call ‘danger.’ There’s always a way to spin these things to our favor, you know.”
Raphael: (stoically) “We need to investigate this matter thoroughly. If there’s a threat, we’ll need to handle it swiftly, for the sake of everyone’s safety.”
Thirteen: (suddenly appearing with a slight chuckle) “It’s always so serious when you guys talk like this. How about we enjoy the chaos a little bit?”
The group’s attention is drawn back to Diavolo, who remains focused despite the tension.
Diavolo: “We’ve heard your concerns. But I must ask, how does this all relate to the Infernal Gala? If these disturbances continue, it could be catastrophic.”
Lucifer: “The Gala is already under heavy scrutiny. If the realm’s stability is at risk, Diavolo, this could be a catastrophic blow to the reputation of the Devildom.”
Asmodeus: “Oh, I can’t imagine the disaster. The Gala’s atmosphere would be ruined if the magical energies continue to fluctuate like this. People will notice, and chaos would break out if they suspect anything is wrong.”
Beelzebub: (his voice low and serious) “If things continue like this, there’s a real danger of even the food and drinks being affected. Imagine the mess if everything starts malfunctioning at the event.”
Lucifer: “Exactly. And with all the high-profile guests we’re expecting… We must act swiftly.”
Diavolo stands up, his usual warmth replaced by a rare intensity.
Diavolo: “For now, I ask all of you to stay vigilant. If you notice anything unusual—anything at all—report it immediately. The Gala must go off without a hitch, for the sake of maintaining peace and stability. But we must also prepare for the possibility that something more sinister is at play.”
Barbatos: (calmly) “We will continue investigating, but please, if you feel anything strange—if there’s any oddity you experience—don’t hesitate to tell us. The more information we have, the better.”
Lucifer: (looking directly at you) “You, especially. I’m sure you’ve felt it, too. These disturbances seem… connected to you.”
The room falls silent again as all eyes shift toward you. You feel a weight settling on your shoulders, the pressure building.
Diavolo: (smiling reassuringly) “You’ve done well so far. But now, we must prepare for whatever comes next. The Gala is crucial, but our first priority must be understanding the root cause of these events. If there’s a connection between you and this instability… we’ll need to address it quickly.”
As you nod in response, a sense of foreboding fills the air. The once-bustling preparations for the Gala seem like a distant memory now, overshadowed by the uncertainty surrounding the disruptions.
A talk with Solomon
After the emergency meeting, you wander through the halls of the House of Lamentation, the weight of the situation pressing on you. The magical disturbances, the instability in the Devildom... you feel like you're on the edge of something bigger, but you can't quite grasp it.
A soft voice interrupts your thoughts.
Solomon: "You're still awake, huh? I figured you might be here."
You turn and see Solomon leaning against the doorframe, his usual playful expression replaced by one of concern. He steps into the hallway, his gaze never leaving you.
You: “I don’t understand any of this… It feels like everything’s connected, but I don’t know how or why.”
Solomon walks up to you, his footsteps slow and deliberate. He looks at you with a knowing look, as though he’s been waiting for this conversation.
Solomon: “I can see why you’re confused. The fluctuations... the disruptions in the ley lines, they’re not random. They’re a result of your presence here.”
You: (frowning) “My presence?”
Solomon: (nodding) “It’s complicated. There’s something about your connection to the brothers, your dual pacts, that’s causing the instability. It’s as if the power between you and them is... too much for the realms to handle.”
You feel a jolt of realization. The dual pacts. You hadn’t thought about the significance of them, but it makes sense now. Solomon's words seem to echo in your mind, each one a small revelation.
You: “So... you think the dual pacts are the reason this is happening?”
Solomon hesitates for a moment, then nods, his eyes serious.
Solomon: “I’m beginning to suspect that’s the case. The way your power interacts with theirs... it’s creating more energy than the ley lines can accommodate. It’s like a pressure building up, and when too much energy is focused in one place, the balance of the realms starts to break down.”
You swallow, trying to process it all. Your mind races through everything you’ve experienced—the strange pull of the pact mark, the disruptions, the growing tension. It all leads back to the pacts.
You: “But why now? Why is this only happening now?”
Solomon: (with a sigh) “It didn't start now. Actually it's been going on for a while now. Remember how the moon was getting progressively closer and closer a few months ago? I suspect that's also due to your magic. But for all I know the dual pacts were never meant to be this powerful. They’re an anomaly.”
You: “So, everything that’s happening... it’s my fault?”
Solomon: (softly) “Not your fault. But your presence, your bond with the brothers—it’s a key factor. I should’ve been more cautious. I knew the pacts were risky, but I didn’t expect something like this would happen.”
You feel your heart race as you try to understand the magnitude of what Solomon is telling you. The chaos, the disruptions... you feel like you’re at the center of it all, and it’s terrifying.
You: “How do we fix this?”
Solomon takes a step closer, his gaze softening. His hand gently rests on your shoulder, and you feel a comforting warmth from his touch.
Solomon: “We’ll figure it out. Together. The brothers... they’re linked to this too, and we’ll need their help. But we can’t do it alone. The dual pacts are too unpredictable.”
For a moment, you both stand in silence, the weight of his words settling in. The chaos, the stakes... it feels like everything is changing too fast. Yet, with Solomon’s presence, there’s a sense of calm. You find comfort in his understanding.
You: “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Solomon smiles, but there’s a warmth in his eyes that makes your heart flutter, though he doesn't say anything for a moment. He simply pulls you into a gentle embrace, holding you close, offering a silent promise.
Solomon: “You’ll never have to find out.”
You lean into his chest, the tension in your body slowly melting away. His heartbeat is steady against your ear, and for the briefest moment, the world outside feels a little more bearable.
Solomon: “We’ll fix this. We’ll make sure the Gala goes off without a hitch, and we’ll find the cause of all this. But until then... just know that I’m here.”
You look up at him, your voice quiet but firm.
You: “Thank you, Solomon. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I’m... not alone in this anymore.”
Solomon’s smile deepens, and he leans in, brushing a soft kiss against your forehead.
Solomon: “You’re never alone, MC. Not with me by your side.”
The Pact’s Secret Emerges
Later that evening, while the brothers are asleep, you are drawn to the library by an inexplicable force. You find an old book glowing faintly on the shelf and open it. The pages are filled with ancient symbols you can’t understand. Suddenly, a familiar voice interrupts you.
Barbatos: (appearing silently behind you) “Curious, isn’t it? That book is one of the oldest records in the castle. It documents the nature of pacts and their potential… consequences.”
You jump in surprise, quickly closing the book.
You: “Barbatos! You scared me. I didn’t mean to—”
Barbatos: (smiling slightly) “You needn’t apologize. It’s no coincidence that you were drawn to this book.”
Barbatos steps closer, his gaze calm but piercing.
Barbatos: “Tell me, since your return from the past, have you noticed anything… unusual? A change in your magic, perhaps? Or a resonance with the brothers’ powers?”
You stiffen.
You: “What do you mean by ‘return from the past’? How do you know about that?”
Barbatos: (tilting his head slightly) “I am the steward of time. There are few events that escape my notice.”
Your eyes widen. You clutch the book tightly, unsure of how to respond.
You: “I… I haven’t told anyone except Solomon. How much do you know?”
Barbatos: “Enough to understand that your journey was no mere coincidence. It was necessary, though its ripple effects are only now beginning to manifest.”
You: “Ripple effects…? Are you saying all of this—the disturbances in the Devildom—are my fault?”
Barbatos: (softly) “Fault is a strong word. Responsibility, perhaps. But do not misunderstand—your presence here is essential. You hold the key to stabilizing the realm.”
Barbatos’ gaze sharpens as he steps closer, his voice lowering to a near whisper.
Barbatos: “However, I must warn you: secrets have a way of surfacing when the time is right. The truth will not remain hidden forever—not from the brothers, nor from yourself.”
He gestures toward the glowing book.
Barbatos: “Keep this between us for now. But be vigilant. The bonds you share with the brothers are deeper and more intricate than even you realize.”
After the encounter, Barbatos is in his room, standing over a magical map of the Devildom. Glowing lines represent the ley lines, which are flickering and unstable. He traces his fingers over the map, frowning as he notices a disturbing pattern.
Barbatos: (to himself) “The fluctuations are growing stronger, converging toward a single point. If this trajectory continues…”
He pauses, his expression darkening.
Barbatos: “…even the combined power of the brothers may not be enough to stop what’s coming.”
The map reveals the convergence point glowing ominously—a location deep within the Devildom that remains unidentified.
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harunade ¡ 12 hours ago
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moots 2 . zhang hao
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pairing: camboy!hao x camgirl!reader
synopsis: your camboy friend, Hao, comes over for the first time. The two of you make the promised collab but end up catching feelings
warnings: smut!! p in v sex, biting, alcohol mentions, idiots in love.. , recording while fucking, making out, basically drunk sex,, not proofread possible typos
wc: ~ 1.8k
a/n: part 2 guys!! Im so happy u liked the first one :’)) part 3 where they become official might come out soon methinks
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Your streams became something ordinary for you. Once every two days, you would doll yourself up, wear the most revealing pieces of clothing and make yourself cum on camera. What was even better was that people loved it! In two weeks you made enough money to cover rest for the next half of the year, when you usually lived paycheck to paycheck.
As for your new friend, you and Zhang Hao kept in touch as promised. He was present on your streams and you were on his. He made himself known by sending at least $50 and asking you to moan his name, which you happily did. Returning the favour, your name was moaned as well on his live, except you didn’t always have so much money to spend, but still did it anyway.
Unbeknownst to you, whenever Hao came across your videos or lives, his cock got inevitably hard. Normally, he wouldn’t have problems with erections, since he jerked himself off on camera almost daily, but ever since he met you, it’s like you put a spell on him. Sure, he spoke with girl on that site before, but you were the only one he looked forward to see post and had notifications on for.
Whilst for you, Hao was like your dirty little secret. You watched all of his streams, but didn’t always make yourself known. You gained a community pretty quickly, reaching 20k followers in the first month, and your fans shipped you with Hao together. It was common for either of you to recieve donations with pleads to collab.
@/sheloveshao: haha yn someone just send me $100
@/lovelyyn: damn?? so now u got money to ask me out or what
@/sheloveshao: r u saying i was broke before..? well i actually wanted to ask u out but now i dont wanna
@/lovelyyn: hao.. we still have that collab to do :)
It was quite obvious both of you avoided this subject. The thought of meeting with Zhang Hao in real life and “collabing” made your stomach hurt. After talking daily, you gained a liking for him. But since he was a camboy, he probably played with hearts too, so you resorted to just being friends. You face palmed yourself mentally for even bringing it up. Hopefully he won’t think of you as a creep.
@/sheloveshao: you’re right.. what if we met this weekend? if i’m not wrong you live about 20 mins from me
Your heart sank. You wanted to meet him, but at the same time didn’t. You were just too nervous!! Your celebrity crush but also crush but also friend wanted to come over, and both of you knew it would end up with him getting in your pants. That’s what you two do, after all. You didn’t know he was actually as nervous as you.
@/lovelyyn: i’m not opposed.. bring some red wine too.. I’ll have the camera ready ;)
Whew.. you tried so hard to sound as if it barely affected you but your legs were shaking while typing. At least that was done with, and you had 3 days to mentally prepare yourself.
Zhang Hao on the other hand, couldn’t be happier. Maybe happy is too strong of a word… he was definitely excited, both ways. He didn’t only plan to fuck you, but he wanted to surprise you with some sushi first, since he’s a gentleman after all. It wasn’t very manly of him, but he called his friend while kicking his feet. “Guess what, Hyuck.. i’m meeting y/n next weekend!” he exclaimed as soon as his best friend picked up. “What.. are you for real? How did that even happen?” Hao couldn’t wait to give all the details, he was probably more excited than you were. “Well.. it was her who asked in the first place. I came up with the time and she told me to get some wine and that she’ll have her camera ready.. so you know what that means” he giggled towards the end. “Yeah yeah, bring a pack of condoms,too, you sex freak. But don’t get too attached, if she’s a camgirl who knows how many guys she’s done this with” the words spoken by his best friend created a dent in his heart. I mean, were you really meaning to play with his feelings? Did he have feelings for you in the first place? Hao failed to understand how you got so deep into his brain. Sure, he talked to camgirls before, but you had something different. He could actually talk to you without you just asking to collab for his fame.
—
The remaining days went by in a blink, and Hao was knocking on the door of your apartment. He looked lime a child visiting his relatives. He had grey sweatpants on, an oversized black hoodie and a backpack. He was carefully holding a paperbag with sushi inside. He gulped when he heard the door unlocking.
“Hi” you smiled at him and welcomed him in. You weren’t dressed too fancy yourself, just shorts and a tshirt.
The two of you sat down at your table and started chatting. The awkwardness quickly disappeared as soon as Hao pulled the red wine out of his backpack.
“You’re so much more fun than i expected you to be” you tell him before sipping the last drops of wine in your glass. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” he laughs back.
Although he seemed to have fun, Zhang Hao was still thinking about what his friend said. You two hadn’t actuallt done anything yet, but he was still scared. He knew he had to charm you well enough for you to like him back.
—
Much too many glasses were now empty, and the bottle was thrown somewhere on the ground. Next to it was Hao accompanied by you, laughing hysterically at everything and anything. The second mistake of the night, other than drinking so much, was turning your head to face him. You were met with his beautiful brown eyes and saw his hair falling to his forehead. His lips were plump and rosier than usual, and he had a gone look in his eyes.
You didn’t know if you should kiss him or not, but you definitely wanted to. It seemed as if he had read your mind. “Kiss me, pretty?” you didn’t wait a moment before attaching your lips to his, cupping his face in the process. His larger hands went to your waist, carefully throwing you on top of him.
Stranding his hips, the kiss got heated. This new position allowed you to feel the boner in his pants and to rub down on it. You knew you were doing it right when you felt him whimper in your mouth. Normally, Hao gave off a dominant energy in his livestreams, but now he was putty in your hands.
—
“Hao..” you whimpered from below him. In the meantime you moved to your bed, where the brunette boy took of your shirt as well as his hoodie. So far the two of you didn’t do anything other than kissing and biting each other’s skin. You made sure to leave some marks on Hao’s neck. Maybe it was wrong to think this way, but you felt like Zhang Hao should be your property, and that was the best way to show everyone else. And in return, he gave you the same treatment. You neck, chest and belly were covered in kisses and bite marks from the boy in question. He loved the way you grabbed at his hair while he was doing it so much that he just couldn’t stop.
“Should we film?” you asked in a half ironic tone. Hao’s head rose from the crook of your neck and for a second you swore you could see sadness in his eyes.
“I think i have a better idea, just wait, beautiful” he said before diving back into your lips.
—
You grew needier with each moment and the boy above you made it his mission to tease you. “Please, Hao, just fuck me already..” your voice was like a drug to him, and he obeyed immediately. Both of your clothes were gone in no time and he slid a condom in his throbbing cock.
He grabbed it in his hand, and rubbed his tip up and down your drenching pussy, teasing you further and admiring you. Obviously, he had seen you naked before, but you looked even better in real life.
Right before pushing in, he looked you in the eyes, silently asking for permission. “Yes, please..” you murmured.
He bottomed out and let out a sigh. That was the moment the both of you had been wanting for so long. None of you could believe what was actually happening and how good it actually felt.
As Hao was thrusting in and out of you, he grabbed his phone, recording a quick 5sec video of his cock disappearing inside of you and reappearing. He would need that later.
—
Altough it was the first time you two met, it seemed like you had known each other for eternity. Zhang Hao figured out your body in an instant and knew exactly how to get you off, and you knew exactly when to clench your muscles to help him get off as well. Furthermore, you both came at the same time, which had to mean something, right?
Zhang Hao plopped next to you, resting for a bit before cleaning you up with a towel. He then got in bed next to you, welcoming you into his arms. This definitely wasn’t casual…
“What are you planning to do with that video?” you asked him. He almost forgot
Zhang Hao posted said video on his account.
the duo you guys knew you needed <3 @/lovelyyn
Not even two minuted had passed that both of his and your phones started buzzing. People were liking, reposting and commenting on your joint post. “I think they liked it” you laughed. “I did too..” the boy next to you was happy to hear that, as he enjoyed every second himself.
—
It didn’t take you long to tap out, leaving Hao with you in his arms and a lot on his mind. You were even more wonderful than expected. You were kind, beautiful and smelled amazing. He definitely knew he wanted you. It was only a matter of time before he figured out how to ask you to be his girlfriend.
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smile-files ¡ 9 hours ago
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randall and henry are likened to brothers constantly in this game, which makes it kind of ridiculous that i never picked up on that as a kid. of course, it doesn't necessarily mean they do see each other as siblings, and certainly the way they were raised wouldn't automatically make them siblings regardless (they aren't biologically related and henry wasn't adopted, per se), but the idea that they have a brotherly relationship is certainly there.
to that end, there's nothing inherently incestuous about seeing henry and randall as a romantic pairing, as their status as brothers is entirely dependent on whether or not they see each other that way, something which isn't stated in the clearest of terms. i certainly would harbor no ill-will against the ship or those who ship it...
though having come this far in my miracle mask rewatch, and knowing that at the end of the day the most important things are randall's compassion for henry and henry's dedication to randall (and not any potential romance therein), i'm inclined to shift my personal view of them: to see them as brothers more than a couple. that's sort of awkward, considering how i've posted and reblogged ranhen stuff frequently up until now, but it's really no big deal. there's nothing wrong with it, as i had a different view of them then, but going forward i'd be posting about them in a different light!
and anyway, it's easy enough to reframe my thoughts on them... their relationship is still just as heartwarming and heartbreaking...
imagine you're henry, a small, sensitive little boy. you live in the household of the wealthy ascots, but they didn't adopt you: you're their servant, not their son... and because of that, you have to constantly see yourself as below them, even the ascot kid who's your age. naturally, your self-esteem starts incredibly low... except, for some reason, the ascot kid - a boy named randall - treats you not just as a regular child, someone on his level, but as your brother. it's inexplicable, but it's true, and as a token of this, he's given you his favorite toy robot: a symbol of his love for you. even if his parents will never treat you as their son, he continues to treat you as his brother.
randall takes you on adventures with his friends angela and dalston, the former of which he has a crush on. when with randall, you feel like you're more than just a servant: you feel on top of the world. despite being sensitive and timid otherwise, you're excited to go on adventures with him, picking up some of randall's fervent love for treasure-hunting. perhaps you feel like nothing without him, as he's the only person who has shown you love...
unfortunately, once you become a teenager, mr ascot pulls you away from your childhood, your education, and your friends to train to be a butler: he sees your diligence, your obedience, your thoughtfulness, and thinks you more valuable to the household as a servant than the flighty randall is as a son. now the only person your age you can ever interact with is randall, and then only when he's home... all you have is the boy who chose to be your brother... when he is around, he talks to you about archeology: he knows how important you are, how wise you are, and you help him uncover secrets relating to the mask of chaos, a relic massively important to him. you're more than willing to help randall with this. after all, he chose to be your brother. you'd do anything for him. one part the feeling of subservience instilled in you from your life as a servant, one part the feeling of loyalty towards someone who made you feel worth anything... you want to be his servant, if it means he'll treat you like you aren't one.
but every time randall leaves the house, he spends hours with angela and another boy, a new boy... a boy named hershel... a boy who, like you, balances out randall's energy and ambition. you feel he has taken your place in your absence. you spend every day working menial tasks for mr ascot: when randall is gone, you are nothing but a servant, waiting to be a brother again. and while you are a servant, hershel gets to be with randall. you don't like hershel very much... why, he doesn't even want to go on adventures with randall. absurd! why even be his friend?
randall wants to unearth the treasures of the azran, with the mask of chaos guiding him towards glory. he feels it is his destiny, and in fulfilling it, he would impress angela's parents enough to let her marry him. he needs this, so you need him to get it - and so you help randall prepare for his expedition. you wish to join him, instead of that hershel boy... you long to adventure with your dear randall again, but beyond that, you don't trust hershel to keep him safe. you could keep him safe. after all, if you're with randall, you feel on top of the world, and you'd do anything for him. but hershel? you don't trust hershel, and so you worry about randall. so long as you can't be there with him, perhaps he shouldn't even go... he promises to be safe, and that this will be his last expedition. you trust him, because he has chosen to be your brother, and he loves you, and he'd never lie. you trust him, unlike hershel. you help him sneak out of the house, even if it means seeing him leave with hershel into a wilderness you cannot help him through.
you think randall must come back, for he would never break a promise. and anyway, you cannot fathom life without him. for he chose to be your brother, in a house that used you as a machine. at least while he's away, while you're forced to be nothing but a servant again, you can await his return, and the return of your worth as a person with him... you couldn't bear to be a machine forever... a robot executing tasks until its power runs out...
hershel returns. randall is gone, he says. you don't believe him. you hate him. randall is alive. hershel gave up on him. but randall never gave up on you, so you cannot give up on him. randall is alive. he must come back, for he promised. life without him is impossible. thus, so long as you live, he must be alive as well. and so you dedicate your life - a life which you feel is only worth anything because of him - to randall's life. you are willing to make yourself into a machine, into a robot, to execute this task: loving randall so much, as he'd loved you, that you bring him back from the dead.
and so you spend half your life dedicated to him. you "marry" angela so she doesn't have to marry dalston, ready to be with randall again when he returns. you spend time and money searching the ruins he disappeared in yourself, then organizing search parties to do the same; all of the ruins' treasure is spent on looking for randall, or for building a beautiful city for him to live in when he returns. it is all for him. you work yourself to the bone, just as his parents had done to you. you are randall's servant, for he chose to be your brother. you live for him, for without him you have no life: without him, you are a broken toy robot.
someone has come to destroy monte d'or, the beautiful city you made for randall. and this someone, this "masked gentleman", keeps pinning the blame on you, as if you'd destroy any of this... no, you'd been saving it all for randall... and hershel, who has returned on angela's request to solve the mystery of the masked gentleman, has the gall to blame you for this all. how dare he? not only does he take your place at randall's side, he never even knew the place he was taking... you hate hershel. you only comply to his requests to save monte d'or.
and hark... the masked gentleman is randall himself. you were right, he wasn't dead, even though you were irrational and desperate for thinking so. and he hates you. he thinks you took his angela, and his fortune, and his family, and his glory. he was manipulated into seeing you this way, after almost two decades of amnesia. and he hates you. and he regrets ever choosing to be your brother. but you cannot be mad at him... you can barely even explain yourself... you're lucky hershel is able to do that for you. if not for him, you would never have gotten your brother back.
how lucky you are... giving up your personhood for so long really paid off, and now you just might let randall make you feel like a person again...
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glitchedcrows ¡ 2 days ago
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I've never been a writer but I saw a post about Sirius' silver eyes and couldn't get this out of my head...so here's an attempt at something. (I also tried to write it into a @wolfstarmicrofic prompt)
first heartbreak - wolfstar - word count: 743
Remus chews on the nib of his quill as he re-reads the same sentence for the fifth time, ignoring the wet feeling on his lips as the ink is surely staining them.
He'd told the other marauders he had an essay to write, but really he just needed a moment to think. It had been impossible to keep his thoughts straight, all he could think about was those-
"Moony?"
His head snaps up and there they are, those eyes.
A grey storm pulling you into it's depths, keeping you trapped. They look colder today, or maybe he's just imagining because he feels cold looking at them. He watches as Sirius graze flicks down to his lips and he realizes he's still chewing on his quill. Sirius watched Remus wipe at his mouth with the cuff of his robes before meeting his eyes again.
"Can we talk?"
Sirius’ voice cracks a little at the end as he shifts nervously from foot to foot. He's clearly uncomfortable with Remus’ gaze on him which is exactly why Remus doesn't look away. He did this, Sirius did this so he can deal with the consequences. He resides to make the other boy suffer a little longer before he finally looks away, his voice coming out harsh and cold.
"No."
He can hear Sirius fidget on the other side of the table as he shuffles around to pack up his things.
He's not looking back up but he's very aware that he's being watched.
“Please, moony-"
Don't call me that!"
The words comes out as more of a growl and he almost flinches at the harshness of his own voice but he's bad enough.
"You lost any right to call me that when you decided to go and do this prank"
He says the last word with so much venom that, despite not looking at him, it's noticeable his Sirius flinches at the harshness of it.
"Remus…please I just want to talk.. just let me-“
"What?"
He can't help but interrupt as the anger builds in him. The moon just passed but the wolf isn't quite gone yet and Sirius is not helping him control his anger. He can hear the other boy open and close his mouth trying to get his words out.
"I just want to talk…”
But Remus has had enough, as he picks up the last book he finally looks up to meet Sirius' eyes and the mistiness of them is almost enough to make him falter. The grey of the storm is nothing new but they're not supposed to be accompanied but the ocean surrounding the storm.
But then he remembers how he once compares those eyes to silver. Silver which usually hurts him, but not this silver. Not those eyes, they were always so kind and made him feel safe. And the anger comes back in full force.
" You want to talk so bad? Sure let's talk”
And Remus can't hold it back anymore; he lets all his emotions from the past few days spill out. He lets Sirius have it all because he deserves to know how much he hurt Remus.
"Let's talk about how you did the worst thing imaginable and went and told my secret, huh?
Not only that but you went and told it to snivellus of all people! And for what? For a stupid bloody prank? You could have gotten him killed? You could have gotten me killed? If the ministry found out...do you even realize how bad this could have been? I TRUSTED YOU! And what did you do with that trust? Turned around and spat it back in my face apparently.”
Sirius opens his mouth ready to answer my Remus just raises a hand silencing him as he shakes his head.
"No. Just no. I'm done. Leave me alone Black."
He sees the impact of the name and a small part of him relishes the sight of the other boy's pain. He loves him so deeply and so dearly and that's why this hurts so much.
He turns and heads towards the exit. Despite hearing Sirius call after him he doesn't slow down until he's gotten far away from that voice. From those beautifully dangerous eyes. He doesn't know where he's going, just away from the hurt.
Sirius' eyes was the only silver that didn't hurt Remus. They were safe until they weren't. Then they hurt more than any other silver ever had.
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luckyartdrawer ¡ 6 hours ago
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YOU ALL CHOSE:
A fully rendered drawing of a dca AU!
Whew, look at how close some of those options were! Needless to say it seems like y'all want some lovely art to celebrate, so let's get to it!!!
I came up with as many options as I could provide for this poll, so I hope y'all are ready to pick out something! I'll be setting this once again for 3 days, but after the 1st day I'll be seeing what options are leading and prepare ideas and concepts for them ahead of time. (If the votes are a clear landslide I may just start working immediately!)
Explanations for the AUs will be under for any need for clarification! Or if you're just interested in more info that's there too :3
My AUs:
ANE: Is an animatronic reader x Sun & Moon fic that takes place post-virus! The animatronic reader is more like an OC and is a she/they. My first ever fic and one that I still plan to update. Sun is overly trusting with a saviour complex, while Moon is overly suspicious with some sort of an inferiority complex. Very slice of life-ish, with constant worries about being replaced; why can't things just settle down?
Walk In My Mystery: A sortaaa reader x Sun & Moon & Eclipse. The reader is evil and has a double life within a double life and it really is going to trail on - as of rn, they go by feminine pronouns as the Fiancee, and masculine pronouns as the Mob boss. Any relationship that eventually happens is gonna be pretty unhealthy. There's also past relationships that did happen that didn't end well, but I haven't posted those parts yet. The main focus isn't exactly getting in a relationship. They all just want the same person dead. All of them. :)
Take Me Away!: I can't specify who exactly gets shipped with the reader because it would spoil the mystery, but Sun, Moon, and Eclipse all show up here. The gender neutral reader is, let's say supernatural in origin, as they too are part of the mystery in itself. The animatronics are crashlanded in Antarctica after delivering and retrieving goods from an isolated base, now struggling to find some way of rescue while trying not to freeze up their internals.
Everything You Ever Dreamed: A gender neutral dream reader x Moon. Very Moon centric, but Sun does get some limelight, just not with the reader. Moon is tired of his mundane life and minimal time fronting, and while being programmed to put children to sleep, he feels envious of their ability to do so. He's tried and tried for a long time, but suddenly one day he actually dreams, meets the reader, has a taste of what freedom should be, and everything changes. For good and for bad.
Model/Fashion AU: A one-shot gender neutral assistant reader x Sun &/ Moon. I wish I could make more with em but I struggle with both fashion and coming up with a story with stakes for them, so they may be stuck in drabble hell, but I still adore em. Sun and Moon contest over the reader for their time and affections constantly, flirting on the daily, yet somehow none of them are dating. Sun and Moon are clearly making their intentions known, but won't jump the last leap to make it official, wanting the reader to do that so they don't feel like they pressured them into accepting their affections.
Great Comet 1812 Crossover: A simple crossover of the musical The Great Comet of 1812. Sun takes the part of Anatole and Moon takes the role of Pierre. I only drew Sun here, but I still think about these goobers whenever I listen to the songs uaghhh! (Also to those wondering who takes the role of Pierre's wife ahem sorry that's me, and even though that means he hates me and I am playing literal scum, I am married to the bias so LETS GO- /J) Many Sunhinged moments due to Anatole being so messed up :3
Subway Master Crossover: This one I parade around a lot, but it's a crossover of the Subway Masters from Pokemon Black and White, where Sun is Emmet and Moon is Ingo. I goofed around with them a lot during Halloween on my main blog, here's some of my favorite goofs of em, and of course, here's the og drawing. They still have the same pokemon team, I just like parading around Ingo's chandelure and agree with the fandom that Emmet likely breeds Joltiks.
General AUs/AUs I have not done:
These AUs aren't anything I have plans for, but they are things that interest me. Some I even already have designs for in mind! @/divinit3a had the great idea of also merging some AU ideas together, so while I'm leaving the options separate, I may try playing around with that too with the designs of these AUs mwehehe. >:3
Mer: I really want to make Sun a Cookie Cutter shark, but I'm still playing around with the ideas of the other two. It's so enticing to make Moon a squid or Octopus, but I want to explore some other fun options. Eclipse is my wild card, I'm really excited to find something elegant for him. All in all, I want to make them all separate species of mer.
Royal: Eclipse is Sun and Moon sharing a body at the same time. I want to play with the idea of technically multiple rulers, but you never know which one you're going to get. Either you get the best or worst of both worlds, the more logistical one, or the more emotional one. They can change at will too as long as the other allows it, hehe >:)
Fae: I just love Fae AUs. I don't have ideas that haven't already been written by others, but it would be fun to explore some ideas anyway. I'll be looking into different bugs and folklore to base Sun and Moon's designs off of, as well as what their best may be for the background. :3
God: I want to design and write a Eclipse God so much and I only just thought about him while coming up with these general AU ideas. I definitely need to come up with a proper design and some sort of story, but God AUs in general are so interesting and I am begging for the ones that do exist to keep going. They are beautiful life altering sustenance. I seen people make him some sort of Chaos God, but I want to make him something more akin to just Change entirely. Someone who tilts the scales to bring change no matter how good or bad it may be.
Suggestions:
There are plenty of other AU/Crossover ideas out there! I mostly added ones I personally like the most, but I legit love so many that I am more than happy to do others! So don't be shy~ share what you'd like to see!
I do have AUs/Crossovers I have not added to this poll, but if y'all would like to see them please add them to the suggestions!
Do NOT suggest specific AUs made by other people! For example GITM, TSAMS and it's variants, and AUs like LDR or Sleuth Jesters. (No hate! I'm just using these as examples since they're commonly known in the fandom!)
General Ideas are welcome! Pirate AU? Mechanic AU? Post-Fnaf Ruin AU? These all work as good options <3
All in all. I have too many AU and ideas to pick from just by myself, I need the help with deciding :P
Plus, in the end, I want y'all to be happy and have a say in how we celebrate!
Thank y'all for voting and reading all this <3
100 Follower Milestone Poll! 🎉🎉🎉
Heya lovelies!!! This blog hit 100 followers oh my goodness!!!
I really can't believe it, it's so awesome to see you all here! <333 Whether you're new or old around here it doesn't matter, I am electronically hugging and/or patting all of your heads in great thanks! ✨💖✨💖✨💖✨
To celebrate, I have some options in a poll for y'all to choose what you would like to see for this milestone! I HIGHLY suggest reading the explanations of each option below the break! It clarifies some important details. Its down there so any of y'all just scrolling by won't have to worry about a wall of text! <3
Please feel free to vote even if you aren't following me!!!
Poll Options explanations:
Drop early chapters of EYED / Dreamlike: This is a Moon-centric x reader fic I've been working on for several months now and I originally planned to start posting it when I finished it or got really close to doing so. I dropped a sneak peek of it here! I find myself currently on a standstill on it's later chapters, which is why it hasn't been finished yet, but otherwise I am reallllly happy with it's messaging and pacing. (Rn I have plotted out 15 chapters but it's looking like it could be longer with how I write oops-)
The first chapters have been pretty polished at this point, so if people are really curious about this one, I don't mind to start posting the chapters up to a certain point. If this wins, I'll post the first 3 chapters for 3 sequential days, then 4 and 5 will come out in the next week, and then the last week I'll post ch. 6 for no particular reason mhmm yup I am not planning anything nefarious-
Drawing requests: This would be my first time doing something like this, and while I know I can pop out some bangers for y'all I also don't want to dig myself into a hole and leave y'all waiting for a long time. 😅So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests and draw them out! If I feel capable of doing more I may open some more slots for y'all, but I need to test my speed and my capabilities here first. Expect some lovely rendering bc I love it so, but I won't be doing backgrounds (besides simple colors) for the sake of my sanity.
Drabble requests: Most of ya here probably see me as only an artist, but I do write and actually started out as a writer first for this fandom hehe. �� I've been doing well recently with short stories so as long as y'all want em, I can hopefully dish em out at a reasonable pace! I, again, haven't done something like this before. So if this wins, I'll take the first 10 requests, but I feel more confident that I can do this at a reasonable pace, so if things go well I'll open up 5-10 more slots for y'all!
Rendered drawing of a dca AU: Hehe, my forte /J. I've drawn some whacky crossovers, cute sillays, and horror stuff at times, but some of y'all also know I love soooo many AUs in this fandom, hehe! I definitely do not mind drawing AUs, there are MANY I haven't drawn for, but I will be avoiding drawing other's specific AUs. I love making fanart, but this is going to thank y'all for being here, so I would like to keep from using someone else's AU -- it would feel like I'm stealing them e3e.
Plus, this is from me to thank you! And so will the goobers! I'll try to be as detailed as possible with both the characters and location <3
If this wins, I'll set up another poll to last for 3 days. It'll have some general au options like Mer, then I'll list out some crossovers I have done like Submas! Sun/Moon, and I'll add my own AUs! There will also be an option to suggest an AU/crossover! (Please don't be afraid to do so, as long as enough people have an interest in the option, or even if it doesn't win I may still make it if I really like the suggestion! <333)
Rendered drawing of Biblical dca: This means the drawing will be as realistic to the original as I can get it! Gonna do my best to do material rendering and all mwehehe! Though, I may make him extra polished/shiny to not only play with reflections, but to also say how sparkly y'all make me feel hehe ✨✨✨
If this wins, I'll try to finish the drawing within a week or 2 after I make the announcement of the poll's winner! I'll also throw out a really quick poll for 1 day to let y'all pick who will be our biblical goober: Sun, Moon, or Ruin Eclipse!
Something else: This is pretty self explanatory, but if you have ideas, comment below! (You can even if you didn't pick this option!!!) And if you see an idea you like or that you wanted to comment already said below, please reply to that person's comment to keep things easy to track! You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, just drop something simple like ✨ in it and I'll know that means ya voted for it. :) (I'll be checking to make sure people didn't vote on the same comment more than once! But you can vote for multiple ideas <3)
If this wins/has enough interest, I'll choose the most popular suggestion! Depending on what suggestion wins, I may actually do BOTH that suggestion and the winning/2nd place option on the poll!!!! ( Woah 2 for one what :O )
My choice 💥💥💥: I typically don't like making choices actually, but in the case y'all are indecisive I will step up ✨✨✨ If this wins, I'll likely choose whatever sounds best to me in that moment hehehe, you'll never be 100% sure what I'll do >:)
Moon's bald and we love him for it: Oh yeah we do! <3 This is just a joke option to let people who don't want to vote to see the results. If this wins... Uh... We'll go for the 2nd place vote! And also I'll add a bald Moon doodle as a bonus goodie. (I'm so good at making incentives to get people to vote, I know I know ✨✨✨)
Thanks again for all the love guys!!! This fandom has been so good to me and I cannot thank y'all enough for making it as awesome and welcoming as it has been! <333
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